The One That Got Away
by Loves to dance
Summary: James Potter has everything, the perfect girlfriend, friends, and job. He doesn't think anything could change how perfect his life is. That is until one day when Lily Evans, the only girl he's truly ever loved, shows up in his apartment building.
1. The Perfect Day

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters that are in the Harry Potter books. As everyone already knows, J.K Rowling owns them all.

**Author's Note: **Hope you all like it! Enjoy!

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James Potter smiled as he sat down in his large leather chair. It was eight o'clock in the morning on a beautiful summer day. It was Friday, so there were only a few hours left until he could enjoy his relaxing weekend, free of all strenuous work activities.

Not that he minded being at work, he loved his job. James Potter wasn't an ordinary person. He was a wizard. Not just any wizard, but an extremely smart and talented wizard. While at school, a magical place named Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, he was named Head Boy in his seventh year. He received top marks in all his classes, was popular, and the captain of Gryffindor Quidditch team. Needless to say, he had it all.

Now, four years out of Hogwarts, he was the youngest person ever to work at Sinclair's, a lawyer's office. Not only was he the youngest member of the very successful office, but he was one of the top lawyers in the firm. In fact, he hadn't lost a single case in nearly eight months, which was the current record at the firm.

James looked down at the desk in front of him and straightened a stack of papers. He hated anything messy, a habit he gained when he was five from his mother. After refusing to clean his room, his mother took away his broomstick, making it impossible to play Quidditch. Ever since then, he's always been an extremely neat and organized person.

Instead of diving into his workload for the day, James glanced at the photographs that surrounded his large, oak desk. One was of his parents, Ryan and Candace Potter. They were seated in the parlor of their four-story mansion, both looking elegant and happy. The photograph was taken at Christmas, so Ryan Potter was dressed in a very spiff jacket and tie, and Candace Potter was dressed in a deep red gown and wore diamonds around her neck and in her ears.

Next to that photograph, there was a picture of James with his three best friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. The four young men met on the train that took them to Hogwarts, and became inseparable after that very first engagement. Together, they called themselves the Marauders, due to their infamous pranking skills. Just by looking at the picture, James knew that he would always remain friends with the three men. They were all together through thick and thin. In their fifth year at Hogwarts, when Sirius's parents disowned him for not supporting the Dark Arts, the three remaining Marauders took him under their wing. Sirius even ended up living at the Potter house for the remaining summers and holidays of Hogwarts. Additionally, when they discovered that Remus was a werewolf, they didn't run away in fear as other might have done. They found a way to transform themselves into animals, a highly dangerous and illegal process called Animagi, so that during the full moon they could keep Remus company.

Next, James came to a picture of a woman with long, curly blonde hair and icy blue eyes. It was a picture of his girlfriend of eleven months, Erica Purcell. In the photograph, she was seated beneath a blooming dogwood tree. White petals were scattered on the ground, the wind pulling them from the tree. She was smiling up at James and waving, looking as beautiful as ever.

Just looking at the picture made James smile. He loved spending time with Erica; she was gorgeous, smart, witty, and nice. She was the type of girl that everyone dreamed of dating, the type of girl that he could bring home to meet his parents, who would automatically adore her. She was perfect.

His grin widened as he recalled the first time they met, at a local café. She was his waitress and had just moved to London from Paris. While serving him his coffee, the two struck up a conversation. Despite wanting to stay in chat, Erica needed to leave to wait on other tables. Before she left, however, James asked her out to dinner. From there on, it was history. They've been dating ever since.

"Hey James, congrats on the big Warner case," Mike Edwards, one of James's colleagues said, popping his head inside James's office.

"Thanks," he yelled back from his desk.

"Oh, James, you're here, I didn't even see you slip in," Melissa Gong said, approaching his office. Melissa was the boss's assistant, and possibly one of the nicest women James had ever met. She had short black hair, small brown eyes, and was barely five feet tall.

"Yeah, I'm here," he answered.

"Well, Mr. Herney would love to see you in his office when you get the chance," she informed him. Mr. Herney was the boss at the firm, and was the only person that people referred to as Mister. None of them were quite sure why he wasn't called by his first name; perhaps it was because he was an authority figure, or maybe because he was frightening looking. Either way, he was always referred to as Mr. Herney.

"Its good news I hope," James commented.

"Well, I'm not supposed to say, but I think it's a safe bet," Melissa answered, smiling after she spoke.

"I guess I better head over there then," he said, drinking the last of his coffee.

James walked down the hallway and knocked once he reached Mr. Herney's door. Once told to come in, he opened the door to reveal an office three times the size of his own office. Not that James was complaining about his office though; he was twenty-two years old and had his own office, which was more than most of his friends.

"You wanted to see me," he said.

"Yes, yes I did. Have a seat," Mr. Herney said, pointing to one of the two brown leather chairs that sat opposite his mahogany desk. "James, I must say, I'm impressed with your work."

"Thank you, sir."

"You've surpassed most of your colleagues, and you're about ten years younger than all of them. You've done wonders for this firm," Mr. Herney announced.

"I've tried my best," James commented.

"I can certainly see that," Mr. Herney said, and then added, "Which is why I've decided that you deserve a raise."

"Thank you, sir," James replied, a large smile on his face.

"How does increasing your hourly rate by five sickles sound?" Mr. Herney asked, giving James a large grin.

"That sounds, amazing," James answered. He was down right shocked at the pay increase; it seemed that this was quite a high raise.

"I knew you'd like it," Mr. Herney said. "And now, keep up the good work. Also, the next Death Eater attack case is yours."

"Are you serious?" James asked, suddenly looking very professional and alert.

"I sure am," his boss replied.

"Wow, thank you, sir. Thank you so much."

With that said, James left the room and hurried back to his office. This was one of the best days of his professional career. He was going to be able to handle a Death Eater case, which were only reserved for the best lawyers in the firm.

Of course, Death Eater attacks were very serious though. About ten years ago, while James was in his second year at Hogwarts, a wizard by the name of Lord Voldermort started to spread the idea of a perfect world, in which muggles and muggle-born wizards wouldn't exist. As a result in trying to succeed in his perfect world, he killed everyone that he felt didn't belonged in the world. His followers were called Death Eaters, and took the responsibility of performing most of the murders. Lord Voldermort saved himself for his most hated enemies.

This caused a war to break out, the good guys versus the bad guys. James, of course, sided with the good guys. He didn't believe in a world where only pureblood wizards could exist, especially because there were so many talented muggle-borns.

Now, he was going to be able to personally throw the bad guys in jail after the next Death Eater attack. He was ecstatic. Doing just that was the main reason James wanted to work in the law department, and now he was going to be given the chance.

As James sat at his desk, he couldn't help but smile. He was twenty-two years old and in love with his life. He couldn't ask for a better job, girlfriend, friends, or family. He had it made; life was perfect.

For the rest of the day, he breezed through all his paperwork, not caring that it was an unusually high stack of folders for him to file and sort through.

Finally, at four o'clock, the workday was over and he was able to leave. He gathered his personal belongings and with a "pop" apparated out of the building and landed in his apartment.

"Sirius, you here?" he yelled.

Once Hogwarts was over, James and Sirius elected to move out of the Potter house and into a place of their own. They moved right into the heart of London, in a muggle apartment building, where they were roommates. Additionally, Remus and Peter moved right across the hall from them. With the amount of time the four men spent together, it was as if they never left Hogwarts.

"Yeah," Sirius called from the living room. One of the bright sides of living in a muggle area of London was that in addition to using their magic, they could use muggle devises as well, such as a television. That was where Sirius was at the moment, sitting on the couch, an ice-cold firewhiskey in hand, and watching television.

"You would never guess what happened to me today," James said, walking into the living room.

"What?" Sirius asked, not taking his eyes off the television.

"I got a raise, and Herney said I could take on the next Death Eater case," he exclaimed.

"That's awesome mate," he answered.

"I know, I'm thrilled…I swear, once he decides he needs a partner, I'm there."

"Congratulations," Sirius replied.

James plopped down on the chair adjacent to the couch and asked, "So, any mail come?"

"Well, the muggle mail is still down at the box, but the owl mail is on the counter," he answered. That was another thing about the wizard world; they used owls to transport letters.

James got off the chair and walked into the kitchen, picking up the mail and sorting through it. He smiled as he recognized Erica's handwriting and tore open the envelope.

_James,_

_What do you say you come over to my flat this evening and I'll cook us up a romantic dinner for two? Let's say, 7:00 sharp. Owl me back. _

_Love always, _

_Erica _

He loved going over to Erica's flat for meals. Erica was one of the chef's at a wizard restaurant in London, finally working her way up from the waitress job she had last year. Being a chef, she was a tremendous cook, which only made James care about her even more.

He quickly scribbled a note back to her, promising to meet her at seven.

James then went back to looking at the mail and saw that he received a letter from his mother. He tore that open as well, skimming over the words.

_James, _

_I'm just writing to say that your father and I are back from Africa, it was amazing down there. Next time you should really take off from work and come with us. We're traveling to New Zealand in a week and would love to see you before we go. _

_Give our love to Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Erica. _

_Love, _

_Mum _

James picked up his quill again and dipped it in ink before writing another letter, this one to his mother. He told her all about his fabulous news, promising to visit sometime the following week.

He then went back into the living room and sat with Sirius, still beaming about his perfect day. James was able to pass the time by watching television for a while. He then got dressed and went to the flower shop, picking up a single white rose to give to Erica. Generally, he didn't give Erica flowers before every date, only on larger occasions. The day, however, he felt deserved a flower. It would bring a smile to her face, which would only conclude his already perfect day.

Checking his watch, James noticed that he still had plenty of time before he needed to be at Erica's, so he decided to walk from the flower shop to her apartment, which was only five blocks away. He strolled down the streets; enjoying the setting sun and watching kids play in nearby parks.

Finally, he reached his destination and knocked on the door.

Erica opened it at once and greeted him with a light kiss on the lips. She saw the flower and her icy blue eyes lit up at once.

"James, you shouldn't have," she exclaimed, very delighted to receive her favorite flower.

"But you're worth it," he replied, giving her another kiss. He then added, "Dinner smells amazing, what are we having?"

"Steak gorgonzola-alfredo," she answered.

"I can't wait."

"Come on, it's almost ready," she informed him, leading the way to the table. James noticed it was set already; a white tablecloth covering the wooden surface, two candles were lit, and the wine glasses were already filled.

"It looks amazing," he told her as she served him his meal.

"Thank you."

They started eating and talking, sharing stories as usual. James informed her of his delightful workday and Erica told stories of a chaotic, but successful night in the kitchens at the restaurant.

Once dinner was finished, Erica magically sent all of the dishes to the sink, which magically cleaned them all. It was one of the luxuries about being at witch that Erica greatly appreciated, the household cleaning help.

"What do you say we go out to the balcony?" she asked.

"Sounds great," he answered and led the way to the very familiar balcony.

Erica was lucky to live where she did, getting a fantastic view of the city. James loved to come here and sit with her, where they could see all of London light up.

Snuggled up next to James, Erica leaned her head on his shoulder and said, "Tell me a story about Hogwarts."

"What kind of a story?" he asked, ruffling his messy, jet-black hair with his free hand.

"One about a prank you pulled," she answered.

"Okay," he said and tried to think of a story he hadn't told her about yet. He then began the tale, "Okay, so do you remember how I told you about Filch?"

"Which one is he again?"

"He's probably the most hated man at Hogwarts. He's mean, older, can't do any magic, and looks after the castle," James reminded her.

"Oh yeah, the one with the cat," she recalled.

"Yes, but there was a time when that damn cat wasn't so nosy, when she was still a kitten," he began. "Filch introduced the cat to the school in my second year, and he decided to call her Mrs. Norris, which quite frankly is a stupid name for a cat. Anyways, one day we saw Filch's precious cat wandering the halls, looking out for any trouble. And let me just say that Mrs. Norris is probably the reason for at least ten of my detentions, because she always runs off and gets Filch before anyone can escape. So, one day, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and I were wandering down to the kitchens for a late night snack when we heard her meow. We decided to snatch her in our arms and hide her in one of the secret passage ways, one that Filch knew about, but hardly ever used."

"That's awful," Erica commented.

"No, she deserved it," he argued.

"Okay, fine."

"We put Mrs. Norris on a leash and tied her to a post inside the passage way, making sure to go up there a few times a day to feed her and such," James assured his girlfriend. "But it took Filch four days to find her. He was walking around like a madman because he knew she was alive and in the castle, but couldn't figure out where…It was bloody hilarious."

"Sounds like it," Erica said, yawning as she spoke.

"Are you tired?" he asked.

"Yeah, sorry. I didn't get back from the restaurant until two a.m. last night, and then had to interview new waiters this morning at nine. I didn't get a lot of sleep," she explained.

"You can sleep, I don't mind," he told her.

"No, no, I'm just going to sit here with you," she replied.

Twenty minutes later, Erica was sound asleep on his shoulder. Not wanting to wake her, James carefully lifted her into his strong arms and carried her to her bedroom. He gently rested her in her bed, tucking the covers over her sleeping form. He stood there for a moment, taking in just how lucky he was to have a girl like Erica, before turning off the lights. He left a note saying goodbye before apparating out of the room and back to his own flat.

He smiled, knowing just how great his day was. He had the perfect life; an amazing girlfriend, great job, good friends, and caring parents. Nothing could change how he was feeling.

Unless…

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**Author's Note 2: **Thanks to everyone who read this! I promise it gets more exciting and Lily will come into the picture in the next few chapters, just bear with me! Also, if you would like me to start an email mailing address, just leave me a note in a review or email me (my address is in my profile.) Lastly, I hope you enjoyed it and please review!


	2. Her

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters that are in the Harry Potter books. As everyone already knows, J.K Rowling owns them all.

**Author's Note: **Thanks to prongsxlilyflower, iAnimation, dancechic12345, kkroonie, Leonie Leo, delayedead, asianhomiequeen101, xreesex, RubyBinds, The all mighty and powerfulM, ameo, lizziee, koolkatkt123, me, EastCoastHPgrl, Your Authoress, CARFLK, Silver Whisper, Meggily, NJ MacReiley the Helpless Romantic, riduculouslyriddikulus, xmushie133x, lilyfan06, coffeegirl123, and xxquidditchjunkiexx for reviewing! I really appreciate it!

**

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James yawned and stretched his arms high above his head. He could feel the sun's bright rays shining into his room, finally waking him up from his deep slumber. Very slowly, he opened his eyes, allowing them to adjust to the vibrant light.

He lazily rolled out of bed, throwing on a t-shirt and sweatpants before opening his door and heading to the kitchen. He needed coffee, badly. James simply found it impossible to live without, especially at the early time of eleven a.m. on a Saturday morning.

"Morning James," Remus Lupin said once he saw the messy haired, hazel-eyed man enter the small kitchen.

James was startled to hear his friend's voice so early in the morning. Looking towards the voice, he noticed that Remus wasn't alone; Peter was sitting there as well. Sprawled out in front of each of them were sections of the wizard newspaper, _The Daily Prophet. _

"What the fuck are you two doing here?" he asked in a monotonous voice.

"We ran out of coffee, thought we'd steal some of yours," Remus answered. He saw James's eyes light up at the sound of the word 'coffee' and added, "There's still some in your pot, and it's still hot."

James smiled and walked toward the steaming beverage, pouring himself a large mug full of it. The moment he touched it to his lips, he felt rejuvenated. He no longer felt like a zombie or a comatose person. Instead, he felt as if he could do fifty push-ups without getting tired at all. Coffee always had that affect on him, especially the strong wizard coffee that he loved to drink.

Now, once James saw that Remus and Peter were seated at his kitchen table, he didn't find it so odd any more. They were always in his and Sirius's flat, only really sleeping in their own. The flat was like a hot spot for the Marauders, a place where friends were always guaranteed to be.

"So, what's going on in the world today?" he asked, nodding toward the newspaper.

"Surprisingly, not a lot," Remus answered. "No Death Eater attacks, no bizarre Quidditch games, no robberies, nothing."

"That's always nice to hear," James remarked, thinking of the dark times that always seemed to loom in the background of their lives.

"Yeah, they must be pretty desperate down at the _Prophet_," Peter commented. "This is the third time this year they've published the interview with Dumbledore."

Albus Dumbledore was the headmaster at Hogwarts. He was a brilliant man, and very wise too. There's not any other wizard that could match the level of respect that Dumbledore received, which always made him popular with the press. It was rumored that he was even asked to become the Minister of Magic, but refused, saying his heart is with his school.

"How was your date with Erica last night?" Remus asked, changing the subject of their conversation.

"It was great, she's really something special, you know?" James answered.

"I'm glad that you've finally found someone you care about," Remus replied.

"I think I might be falling in love with her," James admitted.

"Love?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, I mean I've always really liked her, but now I think I might just be in love with her," he informed his two friends.

"Well, jeez, it's only been eleven months, took you long enough to realize it," Remus commented.

"I know…am I crazy for just realizing this now?" he asked.

"No, James, you've had it pretty rough, it's not crazy," Remus replied.

James stiffened slightly, but for the most part ignored the former part of Remus's comment. He didn't even want to think of his past relationships. "I'm going to tell her, sometime this week."

"Good for you," Remus said.

"Honestly, I'm surprised that she hasn't gone crazy from the fact that I haven't said it yet," James confessed.

"She's good for you, James," Peter replied.

"I know," he answered, a smile playing at his lips.

---

Later that afternoon, James stepped out of the shower, shaking a towel through his messy hair. He just got back from a nice, relaxing run in a nearby park and jumped in the shower, allowing the cool beads of water to penetrate his hot flesh.

After completing that, he walked out of the bathroom, dressed in fresh, clean jeans and a red t-shirt. "Sirius, did you go down and get the post yet?"

"Mate, not going to lie, I still haven't gotten yesterday's post yet," Sirius answered.

James walked toward his roommate's voice, into the kitchen. He was just in time to see Sirius reach into the refrigerator and guzzle down the remainder of a bottle of muggle soda, his new favorite drink. Remus and Peter were also in the kitchen, playing a game of wizard chess, and from the looks of it, Peter was winning.

"I asked you to get it yesterday," James commented.

"It's not like we're ever going to get anything interesting," Sirius replied.

"Yeah, except for those muggle bills we have to pay," James said.

"That and those magazines of the girl in bathing suits," Remus added, looking up at his friends with a smile.

"Are you the one that ordered those?" Sirius asked, turning to face his friend. For the past four months, he and James were receiving magazines that neither of them subscribed to. It wasn't that they were really complaining about it, the girls on the covers were gorgeous, but they really didn't want to pay for something that they didn't order.

"Maybe," Remus slyly answered.

"Whatever," James commented. "I'm going down there to get the post."

In a matter of minutes, James Potter found himself on the ground floor of the apartment building, standing in front of a wall of different P.O boxes. He scanned the rows and columns, looking for his. Finally, he came to the familiar spot and turned the lock to the correct combination. He opened up the box, only to discover two pieces of mail. It was really a pitiful bunch of letters, just junk, people begging for money.

"Well, I'll be damned if that isn't James Potter himself."

James froze. He felt his heart stop beating for a moment before it resumed at a fast pace. He didn't need to turn around to know who it was, he could tell just from the sound of the voice. He felt a bead of sweat form at his forehead. He hadn't seen her for four years, yet would be able to pick out her voice in a large crowd.

He slowly turned to face her, his eyes finally matching the familiar face with the voice. He stared for a moment, taking in every aspect of her body. She looked almost the same as she did the last time he saw her, but now she held an attitude of confidence, making her look radiant.

Her long red hair was hanging loose around her shoulders. Her emerald eyes were sparkling, a hint of laughter in them. Her lips were as rosy as her hair, a feature he'd always admired. She was still thin and tall; the top of her head in perfect line with his bottom lip.

She looked different too, though. Her skin was no longer as pale as porcelain; instead, it was suntanned, making her glow. Her clothes changed too; she wasn't casually dressed in loose jeans and a t-shirt. Instead, she wore a stylish pair of tight fitting black pants and a nice blouse. In her hand, she sported a pair of sunglasses, which she must have just taken off, with a Prada label on them.

Needless to say, she looked good. More than that, however, she knew she looked good. She stood there; hand on her hip, with a remarkable confidence.

"Lily Evans," he whispered.

---

James fiercely opened his apartment door, slamming it shut behind him. He marched into the kitchen, ignoring the stares his three best friends were giving him. He went straight for the refrigerator and took out an ice-cold beer. He opened it with a quick snap and threw his head back, drinking it all in ten seconds. Once he finished the drink, he crumpled the can and threw it on the counter. He then proceeded to duck into the refrigerator again, never bothering to shut the door, and guzzled down a second can of beer.

This time, once he finished the drink, he slammed it down on the counter, making his three best friends jump at the noise.

"James, what happened?" Sirius asked, not taking his eyes off his best friend since James entered the kitchen.

"I, I just saw her," he answered, putting a huge emphasis on every word that came out of his mouth. He was still breathing heavily, and desperately needed another drink.

His three friends only stared at him. They knew who 'her' was. They could never forget who 'her' was. She was the only girl that James truly ever loved, at least before Erica, that is. She was the only girl that ever left him, breaking his heart. She was the only girl that ever got away. She was Lily Evans.

"What do you mean you saw her?" Remus asked.

"I fucking mean that I was getting the fucking mail and I saw her," he shouted, slamming his body into the empty chair around the kitchen table. His elbow was leaning against the wooden surface, supporting his head as he spoke.

"What's she doing here?" Peter asked.

"I don't know, I wasn't paying attention when she told me…I was a little preoccupied with the fact that she was standing in front of me," he exasperatedly moaned.

"I don't understand what she's doing in London, let alone this building," Remus commented.

"What the bloody hell am I going to do?" James asked.

"I'm sorry mate, I really am," Sirius said. "Maybe you should just let it pass for a little while, maybe she's only visiting a friend or something…Just don't see her again."

"Too late," James replied. "I told her I'd meet her for dinner tonight, catch up on old times."

"Why on earth would you do that?" Peter asked.

"I don't know, I wasn't really thinking straight. I mean, one minute I'm standing there, sorting through a bunch of junk mail, the next minute she's standing there, asking how I've been. I was only concentrating on how much I needed to sort things out, away from her," he admitted.

"You don't have to go, you can cancel on her," Sirius suggested.

"No, I can't do that," he miserably responded.

"Maybe it'll be okay, I mean, it's been four years," Remus said.

"Yeah, maybe…I'm a sensible, reasonable adult. I can eat dinner with her, without anything happening, right?"

"Of course you can," Remus assured him.

Outwardly, James was confident that the meeting with Lily would be just fine. After all, it was only one dinner. Just one simple, little, meaningless dinner. It wasn't a life-changing event or anything.

On the inside, however, he was a complete mess. Every time he shut his eyes, he envisioned their last encounter; he could see her face, hear her words, and feel the pain. "I'm sorry, James, but it's got to be that way," she softly told him. He could see the smoke drifting across the horizon. He could feel his heart sink, as if everything good in his life was gone.

He opened his eyes at once, not wanting to experience the pain any longer.

---

"James, it's so good to see you," Lily told him, brushing her hair behind her shoulders.

They were at dinner, at a small, casual restaurant not too far away from the apartment building. Their food was already ordered, and now the two twenty-two year olds were attempting to make decent small talk.

"It's good to see you too," he lied.

"How've you been?"

"Really great… I took a job at a law firm, and that's working out really great for me. And I have a girlfriend, Erica, who I've been dating for about eleven months. I still live with Sirius, and Remus and Peter are right across the hall," he informed her, summing up the positive experiences of the past few years.

"I'm so happy for you," she genuinely said.

"How's life treating you? Still a photographer?" he asked, painfully remembering their last day together.

"Yeah," she answered. "It's incredible; I get to do so much traveling. Last week, for instance, I was in Egypt, photographing dragons. Last month I got to go to Brazil with a scientist, trying to photograph a never before seen magic creature…it's amazing."

"What're you doing here, in London?" he bluntly asked.

"I already told you," she playfully said. "My sister is getting married next Saturday, so here I am, coming to watch the ceremony. Of course, my mum, being the neurotic woman that she is, insisted that I come a week early, just in case she needs me."

"Why are you here though? And not with your family?"

"James, are you kidding?" she asked, unfazed by the somewhat rude question. "Do you honestly think any sane person could live in that mad-house right now? Every time I go in there I feel like I'm taking crazy pills or something."

"That bad?"

"It's awful. My sister, Petunia, is freaking out about everything. 'The flowers aren't going to be there, the dress won't be ready, it'll rain, Lily's going to do some magic crap.'" Lily perfectly admitted her sister's annoying voice during the last half of her speech.

James smiled, remembering all the good times he had with Lily. She was a remarkable witch: funny, beautiful, and smart.

"Anyways," she began. "I had to get out of that house, so I called my friend, Juliet Samson, and I'm staying with her."

"Juliet Samson," he said aloud, trying to recall where he heard that name before.

"She lives in your building, on the fifth floor," Lily stated, smiling brightly at him. "Other than that, you probably don't know her. I met her three years ago, she's a writer for _Witch Weekly, _so that's how I got to know her."

The conversation halted for a moment, but luckily their food arrived within seconds of their silence. James's eyes lit up as he saw his dinner piled high on the plate. He didn't realize how hungry he was until he saw it.

"So, you live with the Marauders still," she said, smiling up at him while she rolled a long strand of pasta onto her fork.

"Of course, once a Marauder, always a Marauder," he replied, grinning at her.

"You know, I haven't seen anyone from Hogwarts, except for you now, since I left London," she informed him. "It's odd, how you see your three best friends every day, and I haven't seen my old friends in nearly four years."

"Funny how things happen," he stated, unsure of how to respond to her comment.

"It certainly is," she said, her face suddenly brightening up. "I mean, if someone told me I'd bump into you today, I'd have told them they were off their rocker. But look at us now, having dinner."

"Yeah," he replied, agreeing with her completely.

"Now tell, me how are that rest of the Marauders? Is Sirius still quite the lady's man?"

"Not quite as much," he responded. "He still dates a lot, but the last girl actually lasted two months before they called it quits."

"Wow, that's got to be some sort of record for him," she joked.

"I know," he agreed. "But he's good; he's got a job, a new fascination with muggle soda and television. He still looks the same."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Remus, well, he's still Remus. He's got a girlfriend too; they've been dating for about two years now…He's doing well."

"And Peter?"

"He's maturing a lot," James answered. "He doesn't have that same attitude to impress us all any more, I think he finally realizes that we'll like him no matter what happens, you know?"

"Yeah…Well, I'm glad that they're all doing well. I'll have to stop by and see them sometime," she said.

"Yeah, you should. I know they'd all love to see you."

"And how're your parents?" Lily asked, knowing that James's father suffered from a heart attack back in their seventh year at Hogwarts.

"They're doing great. They both retired, and they're traveling a lot," he replied. "My dad's getting a lot better, especially now that he's not working anymore."

"Good," she said before taking another bite of her pasta dish.

"Okay, enough about me. Tell me, what's new in the life of Lily Evans," he said, smiling at her as he spoke.

"I've already told you," she replied, "My sister's getting married, my job's great, and that's about it."

"Come on, Lils, there's more than that."

She smiled and said, "Lils. No one's called me that in years."

"Sorry, it's a habit," he apologized.

"No, don't be sorry. I kind of miss it," she replied, looking up at him with sparkling eyes.

He looked directly at her and felt his heart skip a beat. She looked beautiful, just as she always did. Her eyes seemed to light up the entire restaurant, as if they were dancing in a see of green.

James broke his gaze and looked down at his plate. He had a girlfriend; he didn't need to be messing around with stupid ideas in his mind. True, he once gave Lily his heart, but that was a long time ago. He was completely over her. He was in love with Erica.

"Seriously, tell me something interesting about yourself, something new," he insisted.

"I got a cat," she told him.

He stared at her for a moment before grinning like a madman. "You mean to tell me, Miss Lily Evans, the girl who detests all animals that require work, got a cat."

She laughed and took a sip of wine from her glass. "I sure did."

"What caused this?"

"I don't know…I was walking around some shops while I was in Romania, in a place a lot like Diagon Alley, and I saw this little cat just sitting in the window. Next thing I know, I bought it," she answered. She paused for a moment, as if she was having an internal battle with her mind before saying, "this might sound kind of weird, but the minute I saw him, I was reminded of you."

"Me?" James asked, very shocked.

"Yeah, call me crazy, but I think it was the look in his eyes. You know, that look you always get when you know you're about to do something wrong," she replied, beaming at him.

As James looked at her, he felt the sudden urge to reach out and touch her face, maybe push her long strands of red hair out of her eyes. He mentally slapped himself, he couldn't think that. He shouldn't think that.

"Yeah, that's the look," she commented, assuming he was attempting to imitate himself.

He immediately looked away from her. No, couldn't think this way. He couldn't think that she was beautiful. He couldn't think about the way it used to be, the way they had so much fun together. It was wrong.

"Shit," Lily swore, glancing down at the watch on her wrist. "Fuck, James, I'm supposed to meet my mum and sister in like ten minutes. I hate to eat and run, but I've really got to go."

"That's fine."

"Okay, here's twenty muggle pounds, it should cover the bill, give the waiter whatever's left," she said, standing up and tossing the money on the table.

"Lily, no," he said, taking her money and passing it back to her. "What kind of gentleman would I be if I let you pay for this?"

"James, just let me pay," she ordered. "And listen, this was fun. We should do it again sometime before I have to leave."

"Yeah, I'm in apartment 10C, just stop by sometime," he replied before adding, "And here's your money."

"James, I really insist on paying."

"No," he stated.

"Fine, I'll just leave the money here. You can do whatever you want with it," she replied, gathering her purse and walking out of the restaurant.

He stared after her, watching the graceful, very sight sway of her hips as she walked. "Bye," he softly said.

* * *

**Author's Note 2: **Hey everyone! I hope you all enjoyed the second chapter! Please review, it helps me write faster! Remember, my offer still stands about my email list.


	3. The L Word

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters that are in the Harry Potter books. As everyone already knows, J.K Rowling owns them all.

**Author's Note: **Thanks to The all mighty and powerfulM, jka1, Cometchick, koolkatkt123, xmushie133x, rev123, too lazy too log in, riduculouslyriddikulus, dancechic12345, Miss Myrtle360, sugur-huny-bun, ameo, lilyfan06, Greekchic, NJ MacReiley the Helpless Romantic, lizziee, babi-gurl-chels, Packingcrates, Your Authoress, zuska1985, drumer girl, coffeegirl123, xxquidditchjunkiexx, jitterbug393, siriusforeva, Meggily, kkroonie, Ladylaughsalot, and RubyBinds for reviewing! You guys are amazing!

Okay, this is rated M for a reason. So, just a warning, there is some adult conduct in this chapter and in future chapters.

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"Hello, love," James said as he leaned in toward Lily and laid a light kiss on her forehead. He stepped back, a grin on his face. Every day with Lily was like an adventure to him. Everything about her enticed him; he was in love.

"Hi, James," she softly replied.

Something wasn't right. Lily's tone wasn't cheerful and full of life, as it usually was. She didn't match his kiss with a kiss to him on his cheek. Instead, she stayed seated in the wooden kitchen chair.

"Are you okay?" he asked, a concerned look across his face.

"I was offered a job today," she replied, looking up at him for the first time that day.

"That's great," he excitedly said, sitting down across from her after laying a kiss on the top of her head. He couldn't understand why she was so upset about getting a job. They were both eighteen years old and employed in jobs that children could easily do. Thoughtless, effortless, boring jobs. Both he and Lily were on the hunt for jobs, only taking these minuscule positions to pay the rent.

"Yeah, I suppose so," she began, averting her emerald eyes away from him.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She ignored the question and went into further detail about the job, "It's a fantastic opportunity… If I photograph local things for a year, and the boss likes what he sees, I'll get to sign on with basically whatever I want. I'll get to go on trips with wizard scientists to Australia, and with researchers to Alaska… it's quite the opportunity."

"Wow, it sounds like it," James agreed.

"I mean, the stuff that I'll get to choose to photograph will have to do with science and nature, because that's what the magazine is all about, but it's a great…" she said.

"Those trips to Australia and Alaska, how often will they be?" James questioned.

"I don't know… I'll probably be gone for a week, then home for two to edit all the photographs," she replied.

"Well, it sounds perfect," he said. "I could really see you doing something like that."

"There's only one thing," she began.

"What is it? Is the pay not good?" he asked, but before she was able to answer his questions, he launched into explanations. "Whatever it is, don't let it hold you back. This is what you've always dreamed of doing, and you're not going to get this opportunity everyday. Not to mention I've seen your work and it's amazing, so don't doubt your own capabilities."

"That's not it."

"Then what is it?"

"The magazine is stationed in Moscow," she informed him.

"BEEP. BEEP. BEEP"

James's eyes flickered open at the sound of his obnoxious alarm clock. His right hand immediately flew to his hair and he took a large chunk of black hair into his hand and began to pull on in. It wasn't as if the pain would make him feel any better, but he wanted to somehow rid his mind of the thoughts that filled his mind in his slumber.

Suddenly, he felt a petite hand fall over his bare chest. He looked down at it, his eyes wide open. His heart began to race, well, race faster than it had been since he woke up from his dream that is.

Slowly, he looked out of the corner of his eye to try to see whom this hand belonged to. He bit his lower lip, a habit out of nervousness, and wondered why he couldn't remember a thing. He knew he hadn't been drinking last night, and was certain that if this dream hadn't occurred, he would have the memory of an elephant today.

However, the dream did occur. It shook him up completely. The worst part about it all was the fact that this wasn't the first time he had the same exact dream, but it was the first time in nearly a year. The dream always had this affect on him too. He couldn't focus on anything except it.

He heard a light moan from the other side of his bed and felt a body moving close by. It refocused his attention on solving the mystery of who this person was. Cautiously, he looked out the side of his eyes at the body. Blonde hair flooded the pillow, slightly tanned skin stood out against the white sheets, and her hand was still placed upon his bare chest.

James smiled at once; it was Erica. Of course it was Erica, it wouldn't be anyone other than Erica. He was in a relationship with her now, one that lasted eleven months. One that sparked a conversation with Remus concerning love.

Love; it's a strong word. A word that should only be used to show true compassionate feelings. James only used the word to one woman before; the perpetrator of his dream. Now though, as he looked at Erica, he instantly recalled his conversation with Remus. He loved Erica, he even told Remus that. He loved her, he loved Erica. Every time he said it in his mind, the idea grew more confident in his heart.

"Erica, you've got to get up now," he gently told her, wiping a strand of blonde hair out of her face.

"I don't want to," she grumbled, burying her face into his sheets.

James smiled at her, instantly recalling how awful she is at getting up in the morning. Gently, he placed one of his rough hands across her naked back ad lightly began to run his fingers up and down her spine. "But you have to; I've got big plans for us today."

"How about we stay here all day," she suggested, rolling over to face him. She looked up at him with a smiling face and eyes that seemed to dance, despite the fact that she was still half-asleep.

"That sounds like an incredible idea, but I know you're going to love this," he replied. "But if you don't get up now, we'll miss it."

"How much am I going to love this?" Erica asked.

"On a scale of one to ten?"

"Ten being the highest."

"Nine," he answered.

"Wow, a nine," she said, an impressed tone portraying her excitement. She propped herself up on her elbow, making sure the sheet was still stuck to her body. With one hand balancing her weight, she moved her other hand toward James's neck and pulled him down to meet her.

Their lips met instantly, and James melted into her kiss. All of his dreams of Lily went sailing out of his brain. His life didn't revolved around Lily Evans, nor should he be having dreams about her. He was with Erica now, and she was the only one that mattered.

Although James knew they didn't have a lot of time before his surprise for Erica, he couldn't resist kissing her. It was possibly one of the best feelings in the entire world. The way she gently stroked his hair made his muscles relax instantly. Their tongues seemed to dance as well, as if a waltz played inside their mouths.

He let out a small moan and carefully brought both of them down onto the bed, Erica's back pressed against the white sheets. His lips wandered from her lips down to her neck, and as she tipped her head backward, he began to slightly suck at her flesh. He could taste a small amount of salt on her, mixed with dry sweat. He inwardly grinned to himself, knowing exactly where the sweat had come from. His memory of last night came flying back at him, and he knew that if he opened his eyes, he would see a dark patch of bruised skin lower down on her chest.

Once his lips were satisfied with her neck, he began to travel lower down on her body, his hand exploring every curve. He saw the mark he left last night, and softly brought his lips to it once more to give it a light kiss. James kissed her bare chest once more before bringing himself back to her lips, tenderly kissing them.

His hands traveled the length of her body, first stopping at her breast. He squeezed it with one hand, bringing a light gasp to Erica's lips. He wrapped his entire hand around the small half-circle, rubbing it and cradling it as his tongue explored Erica's mouth.

Next, his hands released her breast and slid their way down to her thigh. It was a short journey, but James made sure to make the process very slow. His fingers slid down Erica back, pausing for a moment to explore each curve of her nicely shaped ass. He then slid his fingers onto her thighs and began to gently massage her somewhat tense legs.

Erica's lips broke away from his and she let out a small moan. Her eyes opened, revealing a hungry sea of blue. "James," she huffed.

He knew exactly what that meant. He slid his hands in-between her thighs, forcing her legs to spread outward. She wrapped them around his body, as if to make sure he wouldn't abandon her. He brought his own hands back toward her face, and wrapped them around her head as he peered into her eyes. He kissed her once again, as if it was the last kiss either one of them would ever experience.

Finally, he granted Erica's wish and plunged into her throbbing body. He heard a small gasp emerge from her lips and took it as a sign to move faster, harder. He felt her tiny hands against his back, small pools of sweat forming where the two pieces of skin came in contact.

He felt her breasts heaving beneath his chest, moving with each deep breath she took. It drove him wild; he loved the feeling of their bodies emerging into one. He lightly said her name once, then once more, twice more. He felt her petite form beneath him, urging him to release himself completely.

With one last move, he collapsed on top of her. He was breathing fiercely, as was she. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead, soaking into his messy hair. Slowly, he rolled off her, his heart hammering.

As he allowed deep bundles of air to flow in an out his lungs, he began to think of how amazing Erica was, how amazing what they had just done was. Suddenly, he knew today was it. He was going to drop the big L-bomb. Today was going to be the day. He was finally going to tell Erica that she was the only girl for him; that he loved her.

He turned his head to look at her, but when he saw her smiling face, he froze. All he could think of was Moscow.

He whipped his head back toward the ceiling and tightly shut his eyes. What was going on? Why was this thought suddenly coming into his brain? He just had sex for crying out loud, with Erica. So why was he thinking of Lily's job? This was absurd.

He turned to look at her once more, but still could only picture Lily saying, " Moscow."

Once again, he redirected his attention toward the ceiling. Shit. Fuck. Shit. This could not be happening to him. He instantly shot up; he needed to clear his mind. That's all. He just needed a nice, cold shower to refresh him. That would surely wipe away his thoughts of Lily Evans.

"James, are you okay?" Erica, turning to face him, concern written across her face.

"Fine," he gulped. "Just need to take a shower… Um, we're running late, so I'll be quick. Then you can take a shower, and then we'll leave."

"Um, okay," Erica replied, a skeptical look still on her face.

James jumped out of bed and threw on his discarded boxers before quickly exiting the room. Yes, a shower would certainly clear his mind. It would refresh his mind from last night's dreams. It would get Lily Evans out of his thoughts.

As James put his hand on the gold handle for the bathroom door, he heard Sirius say, "Hey Prongs, you're up early."

James jumped and turned to face his best friend. "I'm taking Erica out," he quickly muttered.

"Oh, sweet, where are you taking her?"

"What is this, the fucking inquisition?" James hollered, his right hand flying to his forehead, gently rubbing his temples.

"Whoa, hold up a minute," Sirius began, "What's your problem?"

"Nothing, it's nothing," James stammered.

"James, I've known you since we were eleven and you thought you could prank me by attempting to put a beetle in my hair," Sirius stated. "And since that day, we've been best friends. I know when something isn't right, so what happened? Did you and Erica get in a fight or something?"

"I wish," James mumbled.

Sirius gave him a curios look, one that beckoned him to continue on with his speech.

"I had a dream about Lily last night," James admitted.

"What about her?"

"The one where she tells me about Moscow."

"I see…"

"That's not all though… I was with Erica, this morning," James began, giving Sirius a look that explained exactly what he meant by 'with Erica.' "And everything was fine, I forgot about the dream and about Lily. But then something just snapped. We were lying there, and she looked beautiful and happy, and perfect. Then all of a sudden, all I could see was Lily, and all I could hear was her voice when she told me about Moscow."

"I'm sorry, mate."

James sighed and ran his hand through his messy, black hair. "I don't know why I'm freaking out about this, it's so stupid… I'm going to take a shower, clear my mind for a bit."

"Yeah, okay," Sirius said, still eyeing James though. He was worried about his friend. Lily Evans had only been back in town for one day and James was already having dreams about her. The hold she had on him was incredible. Just the mention of her name could set James off for days. Seeing her face would drive him crazy for a week, even if it were simply in a photograph.

Sirius didn't understand it. But then again, Sirius had never truly been in love. One thing he knew for sure though, was that when Lily and James broke up, Lily took a piece of James's heart with her, and James was never going to get it back. No matter how James ended up in life, Lily would always have this hold over him. Even if he were married with children, Lily would always affect him like this.

Love's a funny thing; Sirius knew that just by observing his friend. He knew that James would never give up the year that he and Lily had dated for anything, even if he knew how it would end up. Even if James knew that Lily would break his heart one day, leave him stranded in a city full of love, but without a lover, James would still have been with her.

"James," Sirius began.

"Yeah?" James asked, turning his head back to look at his friend.

"Be careful, as far as Evans goes."

James smiled at him, but didn't say anything. Instead, he turned back toward the bathroom door and stepped inside, locking it tightly behind him. He immediately went to the shower and turned the water on, not allowing it to get very warm. He needed the cold water to freeze away his thoughts.

Dropping his boxers on the cold, tile floor, James stepped past the curtain and into the small cubicle shower. His muscles immediately tensed as he felt the cold water pour onto his back. Still, it felt nice. He could feel all the dried sweat loosen from his skin and wash down the drain.

Still, as he lathered shampoo into his hair, all he could think of was Lily Evans. He could perfectly see her emerald eyes, red lines scrambled around her irises. She looked up at him, mascara running down her cheeks. She tried to grab onto him, anything to show some sort of compassion, but he wouldn't allow it. He had been too stubborn, too angry, too miserable.

James tightly shut his eyes in an act to erase the memories. He took a step backward, allowing the cold water to sprawl over his eyelids. He let out a deep sigh as he repositioned himself into his previous spot and opened his eyes. The image was gone, but he still felt a pang in his heart.

He didn't know what else to do; nothing would erase Lily Evans from his heart. Instead of trying harder, he continued with his day. He shut off the shower, wrapped his towel around his waist and headed out the door. He knocked on his bedroom door, and once he heard a sound from Erica, opened it up and stepped inside. She smiled at him as she walked past him, once again leaving him alone with his thoughts.

James quickly got dressed, but remained in his room. He looked at the bed and noticed that Erica had made it. He smiled, knowing she only did it because she cared for him. She knew of the habit that his mother ground into his brain; never leave without making the bed, and therefore made it for him. It was a simple gesture, but very sweet on her part.

He wandered over to his bureau, his fingers running against the smooth, wood surface. Once he reached a silver frame, he froze and brought the picture closer to his eyes. He smiled at once; it was a photograph of him and Erica during the Holiday season. They found a large, deserted pond that froze over from the coldness. Seeing it, they immediately transfigured a couple rocks into ice-skates. In the picture, Erica steadily skated backwards and held her hands out in front of her, gently grasping his. James, on the other hand, was very wobbly in the picture. He had never gone ice-skating before, and Erica was his mentor for the day. Every so often, he would fall, which caused Erica to tumble down on top of him. They laughed simultaneously, and it almost always ended in a light kiss before they would get up and try it again.

At that moment, looking at the photograph, James instantly knew that his dreams about Lily were nothing. He loved Erica. She was his pride, his joy, his mentor, and his love. She was good to him; she made him laugh, and made him feel strong. She was everything.

He heard a slight knock on the door and hollered, "It's open."

"Hey," Erica said, making James turn to look at her, taking his eyes off the picture. "What're you looking at?"

James grinned and turned the picture to face Erica. "Do you remember this?"

"How could I forget?"

James chuckled slightly in response.

"You okay now?"

He looked at the picture once more and in his heart, he felt a longing for Erica. There was no room for Lily now, it was purely Erica. "Yeah, I am."

---

"James, where are we going?" Erica questioned as she and James practically ran down the streets of London.

"It's a surprise," he answered, grabbing onto her hand tighter than before. "We'll be there in a minute."

"A minute? James, there's nothing decent around here; no restaurants, no shops, nothing fun at all. The only thing around here are a bunch of dark alleys, is there where you're planning on taking me?" Erica sarcastically asked.

Just then James stopped, causing Erica to nearly plunge into his back. "We're here."

She surveyed the area around her, but saw nothing special. "James, I was kidding about the dark alley, I'd really rather not go to one."

"Aren't you sweet," he joked, but took her hand and led her into one of the dark alleys she had been referring to. It was a narrow passage, barely large enough for them both to fit side by side. Every now and then a trashcan would line the side of one building, forcing Erica to take a step behind James for a moment before matching his pace down the deserted alley.

"James, really, what are we doing?" Erica whined, looking around with caution.

"Here we are," he finally announced, coming to a halt in front of a worn pair of jeans. "A Portkey, to lead us to our final destination."

"Hmm, where does it lead?" Erica asked, a hint of sparkle shining in her blue eyes.

"I'm not telling, it's a surprise," he reminded her. "Now, on the count of three, grab on to it."

"Okay."

"One, two, three," James said, and just at that moment, two different hands reached out and touched the raggedy jeans. Suddenly, the dark alley wasn't in sight. It was as if they were floating in a cloud, gravity out of balance, pulling on their bodies in several different directions.

When James saw their destination, he grabbed onto Erica's hand and told her when to jump. At the same time, they both left the cloud in the sky and landed in another dark alley. It was different from the first though; a salty smell drifted into their nostrils.

"We're here," James announced, leading Erica out of the dark alley and toward the bright, sunlit day around them.

"How'd you get that Portkey?" Erica questioned, ignoring his comment.

"I helped a guy settle a court case with his ex-wife, and got him custody of his kids every other week, instead of the two days a week his ex-wife wanted. He owed me a favor," James simply replied.

"I see," she stated, a smile forming at her lips. "So, now do you want to tell me what we're doing?"

"Not quite," he answered.

A moment later, they emerged from the dark alley, appearing in broad day light. Across the street from where they stood, was a large marina filled with boats of all different sizes. The salty air filled their lungs and the light sea breeze felt refreshing against their faces.

"Are we going out there?" Erica asked, a gleaming look in her eyes. She pointed toward the sea, which appeared to sparkle from the sun's rays beating down on the beautiful blue waters.

"Yup," he answered, grinning at her like a madman.

"Oh my God, James, this is so cool," she squealed, gripping onto his hand tightly as they crossed the street and walked onto the wooden dock. "Which one are we going on?" she asked, looking at the large boats that could probably fit fifty people on them.

"Not one of those," he replied, following her glance. "Those are tourist boats, and you're too good to go on one of those."

Erica blushed at his comment and continued following him down the wooden planks that made up the dock. Finally, James stopped in front of a fair-sized boat, one that had large white sails and stood out against the dark colored water.

"This is it," he told her as he hopped on board. He then held out a hand to Erica, ushering her onto the surface of the boat. He then went towards the dock again and began to expertly untie the knotted rope that held the boat close to shore. Once he was finished, he looked around to make sure no one could see him, and used his wand to move the boat away from the dock. Slowly, they began to drift out to sea.

Erica looked around for a moment before taking a seat on one of the plastic benches that lined the outer edge of the boat. She looked out toward the horizon and smiled; this was perfect. The wind swiftly blew her hair out of her face and the sun was shining down on her, warming her skin at once. The smell was strong as well, so strong she could almost taste the salt on her tongue.

"So, do you like it?" James asked, sliding into a seat next to her. He gently slung an arm around her shoulder, which caused her to slightly lean into his body.

"This is amazing," she answered, still looking out at the sparkling sea.

"I'm glad you like it, I've been planning for two weeks," he honestly informed her.

"Two weeks, that must be some sort of record for you," she teased.

He didn't say anything; instead he chose to leave a light kiss in Erica's blonde locks. The smell of her shampoo was fading, not lasting a chance against the strong sea scent.

"Hey James?"

"Yeah?"

"Who's steering the boat?" Erica hesitantly questioned as she watched one sail move from her left over to her right.

"Magic," he simple answered.

"So, you're not a real sailor then?" she jokingly asked, turning to face him now.

"I sail a lot," he sheepishly replied, "Just not without magic."

"Since when have you sailed a lot?" she asked, genuinely intrigued by his response.

"Since I was a kid," James responded. "This is my dad's boat; he let me borrow it for the day. We've had it since I was five, and before I started Hogwarts, my parents and I would go out on it practically once a week. My mum would make us all sandwiches, and she would pack games for me to play. It was a lot of fun… My dad loves sailing, he learned how to do it without magic, but only after I started Hogwarts. I'll never forget it though, he looked so happy out here on the boat. It was as if there was nothing wrong in the world; just me, my dad, and my mum all having a great time as a family together."

"How come you stopped coming once Hogwarts started?" Erica asked.

"I don't know, things started to get busy. We'd go out once in a while, but not nearly as often. Plus, my dad was learning how to actually sail, without magic, and told me he couldn't do it with distractions on board, said he didn't want me getting hurt," he answered.

"That's too bad."

"Yeah, but I got over it pretty quickly, after all, Quidditch pretty much took over my life during the summers once Hogwarts started," James replied.

Erica only laughed at his last comment. James was obsessed with Quidditch. In fact, she had never met anyone as obsessed as he was. During the Quidditch World Cup, James took the entire week off from work just to get pepped for the big game. It didn't matter if his favorite team was in the final, he would go no matter what.

"You may laugh now, but in a couple years, you'll be just as big a fan as I am," he warned. It was probably true too. At first, James had to beg Erica to accompany him to a Quidditch match, but now, she was eager to hear the final score of a game. She enjoyed the excitement of the match, almost as much as James did.

"A couple years?" she asked.

"Yeah, a couple years," he answered.

Erica smiled at him, her heart growing large with joy. James never talked about commitment like this, ever. After eleven months of dating, he still hasn't said 'I love you,' nor has he given her a key to his apartment. Nothing.

In fact, any normal woman probably would have broken off the relationship with him because of his lack of commitment. However, for reasons Erica didn't know, she couldn't break up with him. She found him too perfect for her, with the exception of that one small commitment factor. Other than that though, he made her happy. She loved him, she knew that was certainly. Yet, she didn't want to pressure him into saying it; she knew he would once he was ready.

James leaned forward and gave her a light kiss on the lips. Even though Erica hadn't touched her lips to the water, James could still taste salt on them. Just their presence out on the water made everything taste and smell salty. He loved it.

Once he broke away from the kiss, he carefully turned Erica around so that her back was leaning against his chest. He felt her muscles relax as he brushed his fingers up and down the length of her arm, gently stroking her soft skin. He loved sitting like this with Erica; it reminded him of when he was young, with no worries in the world.

He felt her ribs expand as she took a breath, then decrease in size as she exhaled. The gentle motion felt nice against his chest, just feeling her presence made him feel amazing. He looked at her golden locks and noticed that they seemed to radiate against the sun's bright rays.

James smiled to himself. Erica was perfect; she was everything he ever needed in a woman. She was strong, beautiful, funny, and passionate. He loved her. Yes, this was the perfect opportunity to say it. He loved her. James Potter was in love with Erica Purcell.

"Erica," he softly said, his heart beating fast as he spoke. It was as if he swallowed a large bundle of butterflies; his stomach seemed to be floating.

"Yeah?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything," she sweetly replied, turning to look at him as she spoke.

Once she was facing him, James felt his heart begin to beat even faster, although not for a good reason. In the place of her icy blue eyes, James could only see green; emerald green and almond shaped. The only person he knew with eyes like those were Lily Evans.

James tightly shut his eyes, hoping that it would kill his imagination. Erica's eyes were blue, not green. He opened his own eyes once again and looked at Erica. Shit. Still green. Crap. He couldn't do this. He couldn't say it to her like this. Her eyes were supposed to be blue, not green. He needed to profess his love to Erica, not Lily.

"James?"

"Um," he began, looking around him as he spoke. "I'm glad you're having a good time."

Her face twisted slightly, but then her smile reappeared. "I love it here James." She then twisted her body back to her previous position, lying softly against his chest.

James sighed, hating his imagination for making Erica have Lily's eyes. What was wrong with him? Why was it every time he went to tell Erica how he felt about her, all he could think of was Lily Evans?

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**Author's Note 2: **Hey all, I hope you enjoyed chapter three! Sorry it took longer than usual to post it; I got half way through and decided the plot didn't feel right for chapter three. Anyways, please review!


	4. Sleepless

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters that are in the Harry Potter books. As everyone already knows, J.K Rowling owns them all.

**Author's Note:** Thanks to Your Authoress, ameo, lilyfan06, lizziee, RubyBinds, famousindafuture, sugur-huny-bun, koolkatkt123, CrazzyD', dancechic12345, Etar, The all mighty and powerfulM, coffeegirl123, The Marauders and Lily, dumer girl, Phoebe, smurfinator, and jitterbug393 for reviewing! You have no idea how much I appreciate you all!

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James looked up at his ceiling, but all he could see was darkness. He grumbled slightly and his hand instantly flew to his hair, pushing it out of his eyes. Looking at the clock that stood next to his bed, James saw that it was two o'clock in the morning; exactly twenty minutes had passed since he last checked the time.

He wasn't sure how much more of this he could handle. Throughout the entire night, he probably slept a grand total of one hour. The rest of the time he was thrashing around his bed in an attempt to find a comfortable position to sleep in, or staring at the dark ceiling in hopes sunlight might make an appearance.

He simply couldn't sleep. He didn't know why either; he should be tired. Nature told him he should be drowsy. He woke up early yesterday, to take Erica on the boat, and certainly had his workout while with her the night before. Not to mention he had been outside all day long, the sun beating down on him and the waves splashing onto the small boat.

James couldn't understand why he wasn't fast asleep. He checked the clock once more and was disappointed to note that only three minutes passed. James grumbled and grabbed his wand, which sat on his bedside table. With a simple flick of the wrist, James pointed to the light switch and his room was suddenly bright.

He had to shut his eyes at once before slowly opening them to adjust to the bright lights. Once he could see again, James threw off his covers and made his way toward the kitchen. Perhaps a glass of milk would be the remedy he needed to put him back to sleep; his mother always gave it to him as a child before going to bed.

Quietly, James opened the refrigerator door and let the thick, white liquid pour into a large glass. He took the drink to the wooden kitchen table and sat down, nearly collapsing in the chair. The cold milk ran down his throat and nestled into his stomach, making him feel full at once.

As James leaned back in his chair, forcing it to hold his weight on just two legs, James suddenly heard Lily's voice in his head, "One of these days, you're going to hurt yourself, Potter. And don't you dare come running to me crying about it, because I warned you." She said those words on numerous occasions when they dated back in seventh year, preaching to him as if she were his mother, not his girlfriend.

He would always grin at her and make some witty comment, causing her to roll her eyes at him. It was that sort of banter that kept their relationship alive, made them enjoy each other's company. He recalled how she called him "Potter" even after they became friends. It was a habit of hers that was hard to break, and in the company of their friends, that was her name for him. Only when it was just the two of them, sharing a moment together, would she refer to him as his rightful name.

Looking around him, James felt his heart speed up. He got the sudden urge to do something he hadn't done in years. He just needed to see the simple object, the one that tormented him for years after he and Lily ended their relationship. James pointed his wand in the direction of his room and muttered a spell; an instant later, a large book appeared in front of him, nearly knocking over his glass of milk.

James's eyes gleamed as he opened the hardbound book to the first page. Inscribed at the left hand corner was a note, which read,

_Dear James, _

_I hope this finds you before you come home to London, but it took me longer to compile than I expected it would. I miss you so much; I feel like I'm going crazy without you. I know that you and your dad have been planning this month long trip since his incident, and I truly hope the two of you are enjoying your stay in America, but I miss you so much. And I really don't care what you say, Sirius is not a good replica of yourself. He's a complete goofball (like you) but I swear, if I have to hear him obsess about another girl's assets one more time, I'll shoot myself! Anyways, I miss you and I love you, so please come home soon. I don't know how much longer I can last without seeing you every day of the week. _

_Love, _

_Lily _

_P.S. Sirius, Remus, and Peter say hat if you miss one more of their monthly adventures, they're likely to strip you of your Marauder status. _

_P.S.S. You left one of your Quidditch sweatshirts at my house, the one that supports England. I'm keeping it, and I don't care what you say about that, Potter. _

_P.S.S.S. I know what you're thinking when you read the end of this note, so I must say, I love you more. _

James smiled as he reread the note. He remembered receiving it while in America with his father. The trip wasn't a surprise to him; it had been planned ever since his father suffered from a heart attack. After the incident, his father realized how little of the world he had actually seen, which was the cause of his parents constant travel and the journey James took with his father. It had been an enjoyable experience; they saw everything from New York to Los Angles to Alaska. It was an incredible trip.

James's only complaint about it was the length. He missed Lily and his fellow Marauders so much while away. It was the first time since he started Hogwarts that he had ever been apart from them for more than a week.

He chuckled as he read Lily's first P.S. to him. Of course, he knew it was probably true too. You see, Remus Lupin, was not the average wizard. He was a werewolf as well, which was the reason for his nickname, Moony. As a result of his condition, his fellow Marauders came up with a plan to make his transformation more enjoyable. In their sixth year at Hogwarts, James, Sirius, and Peter (with great help from James and Sirius) became Animagi, meaning they could transform into animals. This way, they could accompany Remus during his time as a werewolf, because as animals he could do them no harm. Of course, this was a very illegal process, so not many people knew of it. The only person besides the Marauders that knew about it was Lily Evans. James wasn't even confident enough to tell Erica yet, besides, it was Remus's secret, not his.

Anyway, once a month, during the full moon, all four men, James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus, would transform into animals, stag, dog, rat, and werewolf, respectively. They would run wild for the night, accompanying each other through fun adventures in different abandoned areas. The tradition started while at Hogwarts, but since the Marauders remained close during their post-Hogwarts era, they decided to continue the tradition. Even at the age of twenty-two, the four men met once a month to pursue their adventures. Other than that one time while James was away in America, none of them ever missed a transformation.

James smiled, noting that the next transformation was coming up soon, about a week away. He couldn't wait for it. It was his one way to escape from the world as he knew it, escape from the murders of his friends and family.

He tightly blinked his eyes, forcing himself to think of something else. His eyes scanned Lily's letter once again, landing on her second P.S. note. She still had that sweatshirt of his, well, as long as she hadn't thrown it out yet. He remembered when he left it at her house. It was just a few days after Hogwarts ended and James went to visit her for the day. He knew her reason for keeping it wasn't just that he left it there; it was because it smelled like him. She told him that at a later date, arguing that she wouldn't give it back over her dead body. Of course, that erupting in fits of giggles on both parts, both of them finding her attachment to the sweatshirt hilarious.

His favorite thing about her note was her third and final P.S. When they were dating, it always brought a smile to his face. Lily was the first girl he ever loved, and he wasn't ashamed to tell her it either. Whenever she told him that she loved him, he would always counter with, "I love you more." Now, however, in this letter, she beat him to it. Just the fact that she cared enough to write it made his heart skip a beat.

No, scratch that. It used to make his heart skip a beat, not anymore. He didn't love Lily Evans anymore, he loved Erica. It was plain and simple. Lily was years ago, not now. Erica was the present, she was his now.

However, a nagging voice in his head reminded James that if he was so in love with Erica, why couldn't he express that into words? And why was he looking at a present Lily had sent him years ago?

He groaned, knowing that he shouldn't be looking at the object stationed in front of him, but flipped to the next page anyway. It revealed four photographs looking up at him, all containing images of the two of them together. James stared at each one, studying them carefully. The images were addicting, almost as addicting as Lily herself was. He couldn't seem to look away, similar to how he acted toward Lily, every look entrancing him.

First on the page was a photograph taken on the second day of classes. The _Daily Prophet, _the local newspaper, printed an article about Hogwarts' newest Head Boy and Girl, namely, James Potter and Lily Evans. Accompanying the article was a small photograph of the two students, their Head badges shining brightly.

James could only assume that Lily saved the newspaper from that day and later cut out the picture to give him. It was still in black and white and had the crisp, newspaper feel to it.

It was the only picture in the entire album taken before they began dating. The only reason they were even posing within five feet of each other was because of the newspaper article. Otherwise, the album wouldn't consist of a single pre-dating photograph. Of course, after they began dating, there were many pictures of the two of them together. Lily had a passion for photography. Every chance she got she was snapping a photograph of him and his friends, or putting the camera on a timer so that she and James could share an image together.

He continued to flip through page after page, oblivious to his surroundings. Every once in a while, he would use his wand to refill a glass of water, but other than that, his mind was completely absorbed by the album. It engulfed him, wiped away all his normal senses of time, hunger, and tiredness. He worked through it all, forcing his eyes open to study each page more carefully than the previous. James didn't even realize it when the sun started to shine through the curtains, providing natural light into the small flat.

It wasn't until Sirius stumbled his way over to the kitchen to start the coffee maker did James even realize it was morning. Still groggy eyed, Sirius looked at his best friend, then at the book lying open on the table. "James, how long have you been awake for?"

James glanced at the clock on the wall; it was nearly seven o'clock in the morning. He had to be at his desk, sorting through papers for work in one hour. He couldn't believe he spent the past five hours looking through the photo album, and he hadn't even finished with it yet. Granted, it was fairly large, due to Lily's obsession with photography, but still, five hours was a long time.

"Not long," James lied.

Sirius looked at him, knew something wasn't quite right, but didn't say anything. It was too early in the morning; he couldn't quite focus on anything right now, at least not before his breakfast. He needed a large quantity of food and a steaming mug of coffee to wake him up.

"Okay," Sirius simply said before turning around and walking towards the bathroom so he could take a shower.

James looked at the album, then back up at the clock. He wished he had more time to study the pictures, obsess over Lily's perfect smile, body, and eyes. However, he knew that he needed to get ready for work. Grudgingly, he walked away from the book, leaving it open so he could easily regain his spot once he came home.

---

James could feel his eyes getting heavy as he sat in his comfortable, leather chair in his office. It felt like the perfect place to take a nap; the leather soothing against his skin, the softness providing just the right amount of cushioning, and the area around him peacefully quiet. Yes, it was the ideal location to rest his eyes.

If James had been thinking clearly that morning, he would have never shut his eyes, even for just a moment. He knew his was in the office, a place for business transactions and hard work. It was no place to take a nap.

However, he wasn't thinking clearly. He didn't have enough sleep in him to begin functioning, let alone think clearly. So, he nodded off to sleep. His mouth was slightly ajar, allowing air to come through his mouth to breathe. At first, only his head hung forward, causing high tension on the back of his neck. Quickly, his entire body slumped over, relaxing against the hard surface of his desk. His head rested lightly across his forearm, which provided some support for his head.

James's didn't know how much time passed by, but he was rudely awaken by the sound of a gruff voice yelling, "Potter, what the fuck are you doing?"

James jumped up at once, instantly recognizing Mr. Herney's voice. It wasn't the tone James usually received, but he knew it at once. On more than one occasion, he overheard his boss shouting at his colleagues, yelling that they were inadequate for the job. Needless to say, it was not the tone any one ever wanted to hear.

"I'm sorry, sir," James instantly said, his head popping off his sleeve.

"You're sorry?" Mr. Herney barked. "This is a workplace, as in you should be doing work, not sleeping. We aren't four years old here, we don't have nap time."

"It won't happen again," James inputted.

"Well, it better damn well not happen again," Mr. Herney snapped. "I won't have this kind of behavior in my office."

"I'm sorry, sir, I really am. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night," James began.

"I don't need to hear your petty excuses," Mr. Herney replied, his eyes narrowing in on the youngest member of his law team. "It just better not happen again."

"It won't."

"Good, now get back to work. I want all those files on my desk by eight a.m. tomorrow morning," Mr. Herney snapped, nodding his head toward James's paperwork.

"Yes, sir."

With that said, Mr. Herney left James's office. James couldn't believe how unfair his boss was being about the situation. There were probably twenty files on his desk; he couldn't possibly complete it by the end of the day. He'd have to work into overtime, which James desperately didn't need. He just wanted to get home and get some sleep, not stay at the office and work. He'd have to half-ass the files. It was the only way.

He sighed and reached for the first one, his eyes glancing at the clock on his desk. He couldn't believe the time when he saw it; he had been sleeping for nearly an hour and a half. James automatically brought his fingers to his hair, pulling the messy mop away from his eyes. In the process, he felt his sleeve brush against his chin; it was wet. Fuck. He'd been drooling. There was no escape from his slumber now; everyone would see the mark he made. Shit. He hated work.

---

When James got home later that day, nearly an hour later than he was supposed to arrive, he found Erica and Sirius seated in the living room. They were watching the muggle television again, an episode of _Bewitched. _Neither of them noticed James, they were in a much too heated discussion concerning the show.

"I just don't get it; I mean the nose thing, how dumb is that?" Sirius complained.

"I know, if they're going to make a show about a witch, at least make it realistic. Look at the cloths the mother is wearing, no witch would ever wear that. None of them even have robes for crying out loud!" Erica exclaimed.

"Not to mention a wand, what kind of witch wouldn't have a wand?"

"Not a very good one."

"Obviously," Sirius replied. "But do you know what bugs me the most?"

"What?"

"They call the men warlocks. We're wizards, not warlocks. Muggles are so insensitive sometimes, they just go and invent a name for a magical man, and not use his proper title," Sirius ranted.

"There, there," Erica sympathetically said, reaching her hand across the couch and briefly patting Sirius on the shoulder. She then returned her hand to her own lap and stared at the television. "Why do they have commercials?"

"Hey," James finally spoke up. He stood in the wide doorframe, his arms crossed across his chest and a smile on his face. He loved seeing his best friend and his girlfriend getting along. Nothing made him happier to know that they were genuine friends, not just pretending on his behalf.

"Why are you so late?" Sirius questioned, knowing the time simply because of the television show. He practically had the schedule memorized in his head. It wasn't that he was lazy, or even watched television all day long, he just liked to know when his favorite shows were playing. Even as much as he liked to complain about _Bewitched, _he did enjoy it. Sirius claimed it was because he found it humorous, but James was certain the only reason was because he found the actress that played Samantha a total babe.

"Mr. Herney is just about the biggest jackass in the entire world, that's why," James replied, plopping down on the chair next to the couch.

"You got everything done though, right?" Erica sweetly asked. James sent her a letter earlier that day, venting about how awful his day had been. He didn't like to do it very often, but today he felt the need to express his opinions and get them off his chest.

"Yeah, but I rushed through all of them," James answered. "But whatever, it's done."

"You want something to drink?" Erica asked. She knew the apartment so well; it wasn't awkward for her to be asking its two owners if they wanted something from the kitchen. The apartment was a home away from home for her, a place to relax with her boyfriend and his friends.

"Sure, a soda would be nice."

"Sirius?"

"Yeah, I'll have a soda too."

Erica then left the room for a moment, and the two boys could hear her opening the cupboards to retrieve the glasses.

"Evans stopped by earlier," Sirius suddenly announced. He didn't turn to face James, he just said it.

"When?"

"Noon, I had to come home for a minute."

"What did she want?"

"You."

"What?" James asked, his eyes wide and heart racing.

"To hang out with you," Sirius replied, wondering exactly what set off James so much.

"What'd you say?"

"Well, I talked to her for a little bit, you know, small talk. Then I said I had to get back to work and that you'd be home in the afternoon. She said she'd stop by sometime tonight," Sirius said.

"When tonight?"

"I don't know."

There conversation was cut short when they saw Erica emerge into the living room. The three glasses of soda were floating in front of her, each one zooming toward the coasters that sat on the table in front of the couch. In Erica's hands, there was a large book, and James's heart sank at once. It was the photo album that Lily gave him. Shit. She must have found it while in the kitchen. Why didn't he think to put it away before he left for work? Moreover, why didn't he at least think to shut it. Instead, it was open to the exact page where he left off from this morning.

"Who's this?" Erica asked, her blue eyes shining as she set the book down on the table and pointed to Lily.

James felt his heart speed up. Shit. What should he say? Should he tell her the truth about Lily being his ex-girlfriend, the only woman he's ever truly loved? Should he explain that she broke his heart four years ago and that the other day she came walking back into his life? Should he say that he never truly got over the beautiful redhead?

He glanced at the four pictures that looked up at him. They were all taken at the Hogwarts graduation party for the seventh years. One was of all the seventh years in Gryffindor, all smiling and tossing their hats up into the air. Beneath that, there was a picture of James and his three best friends, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. All four boys were grinning, their smiles nearly reaching their ears. On the opposite page, there was a picture of James, Sirius, and Lily. Lily was squished in between the two boys and laughing hysterically at something that one of them had said. Every once in a while, she'd throw her head back in a fit of giggles. The final picture on that page was one of James, Lily, and the rest of the Marauders. They all held Gryffindor goblets in their hands and held them towards the camera. It was truly a way of saying goodbye to Hogwarts, taking their last drinks in the Great Hall.

As James eyed the pictures, he noticed that none of them actually portrayed his relationship with Lily. From the looks of the four pictures, she could have easily been another friend of his. Maybe he shouldn't let Erica know about the years he pinned after Lily Evans. Then again, he couldn't just keep something as big as this away from her forever, why not tell her now and get it over with?

After a moment of James's silence, Sirius took it upon himself to answer Erica's question. "That's Lily Evans. She and James…"

James didn't let him finish though, he couldn't. "We were Head Boy and Girl together." James gave Sirius a look, one that he hoped would shut him up for the rest of the night.

"You guys look like pretty good friends," Erica commented.

"Yeah, we were, sort of," James half lied. "We became friends once we were named Head Boy and Girl, but once Hogwarts ended, we didn't really keep in touch."

"How come you never mentioned her?"

"I don't know, I don't really think about her often," James answered. "She moved out of London after school ended and I haven't had a lot of contact with her since."

"What prompted you to take this out then?" Erica questioned, her fingers slipping behind the page, ready to flip to the next.

James felt his heart race again. Shit. She couldn't go to the next page. James knew exactly what was on the next page. It contained a photograph of him and Lily kissing beneath the large tree near the lake. It was where they had their first kiss, and Lily thought it would have been cute to have their last Hogwarts kiss under that same tree.

James needed to get that book away from Erica. She couldn't see it. Shed know he lied to her if she saw that next page. On instinct, James leaped up from his seat and grabbed the book away from Erica, shutting it in the process. He needed some sort of excuse. Shit. He thought back to Erica's last question and decided to honestly answer it, "Lily's in town for a bit. I ran into her the other day and thought I'd look at this."

"Okay," Erica replied, looking at him as if he grew an extra head. His behavior was so weird today. "Well, I think I've got to head out, I need to be to work in half an hour."

"Okay," James responded. He walked with Erica to the front door, kissing her goodbye as she left. It wasn't a passionate kiss, more like a kiss a parent would give a child before heading off to school.

When he returned to the living room, he noticed that Sirius was giving him an odd look. "What?" James questioned as he plopped down in his chair.

"How come you didn't tell her the truth about Lily?"

"I don't know," James replied.

"James, why'd you get that album out?" Sirius questioned. He was determined to get some sort of answer out of James, one that was better than 'I don't know.'

"I don't know," James answered, averting his eyes toward the ceiling.

"Come on, that's bull shit and you know it," Sirius responded. "Prongs, you haven't looked at that album in two years, and now, with Evans back in town, you can't keep your eyes off it. I saw you looking at it this morning, and even though I was a little out of it then, I'm fully awake now and you can't pull this shit."

"I'm not pulling any shit," James snapped.

"You need to let go of Evans, it's been four years for God's sake," Sirius exclaimed.

"I don't need to let go of anything because there's nothing there to let go of," James angrily replied.

"Have you told Erica you love her yet?" Sirius asked, staring directly into James's hazel eyes.

James looked down at his hands in his lap.

"That's what I thought," Sirius informed him, standing up from the couch as he spoke. "You know, James, Erica is an amazing woman. I wish you weren't so stuck up on the past so that you could actually see that too."

"I do see that," James insisted, stepping to his feet so he could be eyelevel with his friend.

"Then why don't you show it?"

"I do show it."

"By doing what? Looking at a present your ex-girlfriend gave you? By not telling her that you love her? By fucking obsessing over Lily Evans? You haven't done anything," Sirius exclaimed.

"What do you want me to do? It's not that easy," James replied, sitting back down in his chair as he spoke. He ran his fingers through his hair again, stressfully pulling at the strands of messy hair. "Three days ago, I would have been happy and I would have told Erica that I love her, because I do. But now, ever since I saw Lily, it's different. I just can't focus on anything."

Sirius took a seat on the edge of the couch and looked over at his friend. "James, I know you loved her a lot, but that was four years ago. Things are different now; you're different. My God, you've got a beautiful girlfriend, good job, and if I do say so myself, good friends. You don't need Lily Evans anymore, just let her go."

"I want to," James admitted, "I just can't."

Their conversation was stopped short however, by the sound of a knock on the door. Both wizards looked at each other, as if to say they would continue at a later date. James then got off the chair and went to the door. He automatically ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up more than it already was.

As he turned the cold, metal handle and opened the door, he met the smiling face of Lily Evans. She had the slightest bit of pink across her cheeks, as if she had been running or out in the cold weather. Her hair seemed to shine, especially as it laid against her teal shirt.

"Lily," he dumbly said.

"Is this a good time?" she asked, a hopeful look across her face.

"Um, of course, come in," James stuttered, holding the door open for the beautiful redhead. "So, what's up?"

"Not too much," Lily answered. "I just spent the past four hours with my mum and sister, and they are driving me crazy. I just had to get away and see someone, I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all."

"I stopped by earlier, did Sirius tell you?"

"Yeah."

"So, do you want to do something?" Lily asked.

James looked at her and had the sudden urge to kiss her. He wondered what her pink lips would feel like against his. Would it be the same as when they last kissed, or would it be new and different?

He mentally slapped himself for thinking that. He was with Erica now, not Lily. His life wasn't about Lily anymore. She wasn't his to kiss anymore. But still, it would feel so good… No. he ordered himself to stop thinking like that. Erica was his girlfriend. Erica, not Lily.

Quickly, he readjusted his brain to focus on the question Lily asked him. What did she want? To do something? He though about it for a split second before suggesting, "Do you want to go to a local pub or something? I know you're not too much of a drinker, but it's a pretty cool place. They've got this muggle game, pool, I think it's called. Anyway, it's pretty fun."

"Sure," she answered.

With that said, they left the building and began to walk toward the pub. It was only a couple blocks away from James's apartment, meaning that James could easily drink a few beers without having to worry about apparating home. That was his favorite thing about the pub; it's location. On days like this one, he knew he would be taking advantage of the close proximity. He needed to do something to clear his mind of the Lily fiasco.

Once they arrived, James ordered a beer for himself and let the bartender know that he wanted a tab for himself and Lily. He then motioned toward her and asked what she planned to drink that evening, figuring it would be something light.

"Give me your basic Martini, heavy on the vodka," she ordered.

"Yes, ma'am, coming right up," the man behind the counter said, eyeing Lily as he made her drink.

Once they both had their drinks, they made their way over to an abandoned table and took a seat. "So, going right for the hard stuff tonight?"

"Wouldn't do it any other way," she joked.

"Seriously though, since when have you been into drinking anything with vodka in it?"

"Oh James, silly, naïve, James. It's been four years, a lot about me has changed since then," she replied, taking a small sip of her drink. "Besides, I need this."

"Your day was that bad?"

"It was a nightmare," she answered. "Do you remember that time you came to my house and Petunia was freaking out that you and I were going to cast some spell on her and she started screaming that we were both freaks?"

"Yeah," he casually said, recalling the incident automatically.

"It was like that, except ten times worse."

"Sorry."

"Don't be," she replied, sighing as she spoke. "There's nothing in this world that will convince my sister that witches and wizards aren't weird freaks. I've tried everything since I was eleven, but she'll never budge. Why should this week be any different? I mean, it wouldn't be coming home if Petunia was civil to me and my mother didn't cry every time we fought."

"Sounds a little rough."

"Nah, you get used to it," Lily said. "Sometimes though, I just wish it were different, you know? For just once I wish that Petunia wouldn't look at me as if I had three heads."

"She's just jealous."

"That's what my dad always says."

"He's a smart man," James informed her, not even realizing how badly he was flirting with her.

Lily made a groaning noise, but then said, "I don't even want to talk about my sister anymore, it's bad enough I have to see her every day for the entire week."

"Then we won't talk about her," he replied, looking across the table with understanding eyes. "We can play that poll game, if you want."

Lily eyed her drink and then looked over at the empty pool table. She looked back at her drink one more time and in one gulp, completely finished it. She felt a small kick from the vodka, a nice, relaxing feel. "Let's go for it."

She led the way to the table and carefully aligned all the balls into the middle of the table. She grabbed a stick off the wall for herself, then tossed one over to James.

"Do you want to take the first shot?" he asked.

Lily eyes him for a moment, but walked closer to the table and positioned the stick to line up with the white ball. With a forceful jab, she sent the balls flying across the table, knocking two of the solids into the pockets.

"I guess I'm solids," she stated, a grin on her face. She hesitated for a moment, but then said, "And by the way, James, the first shot is called breaking."

He stared at her, dumbfounded. How did she know how to play pool? Sure, it was a muggle game, and Lily was born into the muggle world. But wasn't this game for older people, men and women their age?

James watched as Lily once again took another shot. The white ball went flying toward the purple solid, knocking it towards the corner. It came within centimeters of the pouch, but luckily for James, didn't go in.

"You're up," she informed him.

James took another gulp of his beer before approaching the table. He took a shot at the orange striped ball, but it didn't even come close to getting in the pocket. Shit. Lily was going to beat him at pool, how embarrassing.

As Lily went to take another shot, James took another swing of his beer, letting the cold liquid rush down his throat. Maybe if he had enough of these bottles, it would explain his poor playing skills. With that plan in mind, James excused himself from the table and walked over to the bartender. He ordered another drink for himself and for Lily. Maybe it would mess with her playing skills as well.

Three drinks later for James, and two drinks later for Lily, James's plan had worked. Not only could his awful pool skills be blamed on his five beers, but Lily couldn't aim if her life depended on it. He had never seen her intake so much alcohol throughout their entire time of knowing each other, including the weekend in the summer when the Marauders through an insane party for all their Hogwarts friends.

Lily hunched over the table, the pool stick placed in between her fingers. She glanced up at James, and in a drunken tone exclaimed, "Now, James, this is the way to shoot pool." She moved her arm forward, which forced the stick to move as well. This time, she didn't even manage to move the white ball.

Both Lily and James found themselves in fits of laughter over this, especially as James finished his sixth beer. Lily sat down on a nearby stool, her hands clenching onto her thighs. She could barely stand up she was laughing so hard.

James strolled over next to her, a smile plastered across his face, "You know, you're very pretty when you smile."

"You're pretty too," she replied, laughing at her mistake of calling him pretty instead of calling his smile handsome. "Hey, James, what do you say we get out of here?"

If James was in a better state of mind, he would have flat out refused to leave. Of course, a part of his heart would have told him to go, but the logical side of him would say no. He was with Erica, he wouldn't leave with Lily.

However, he wasn't in a better state of mind. Therefore, he found himself walking down the streets back to his apartment building. The entire way there, he and Lily couldn't stop their laughter. They found everything funny, from a rock that looked like Dumbledore to a woman's hat with a large stuffed animal sticking off the top. Everything was absolutely hilarious.

Finally, once they arrived to the apartment, James led Lily back to his apartment building. He fumbled with his keys for a moment, knowing that Sirius wouldn't be home. He recalled his best friend mentioning something about having a date that night, but he couldn't remember anything more than that. Anyway, James finally found the right key and inserted it into the keyhole. He twisted it in until he heard the sound of the bolt coming open and then yanked his keys out of the slot.

"Right this way," James announced, opening the door for Lily.

"Thank you," she slurred, making it sound more like, 'thannkkk yoouuuu."

As they walked into the rooms, James headed towards the living room. He wasn't the type of person that could just lead a girl right into his room; he felt he needed to talk with her for a little longer.

However, as soon as Lily saw the couch, she instantly collapsed onto it. Within minutes, she was sound asleep, leaving James to stare at her peaceful face.

James sighed and went to the hall closet to retrieve a blanket. He then went back into the living room and draped it over Lily's body, not wanting her to be cold at all during the night. He watched her for a moment, staring at her gorgeous red hair, smooth skin, and plush lips. She was truly beautiful.

He then walked back to his own room and crawled into bed. As he lay there, he looked across the room at the picture of him and Erica. James blinked his eyes tightly shut, trying to focus on something. He didn't have quite enough alcohol in him to make him completely senseless.

As he opened his eyes again, he still saw the picture of him and Erica. That was how it was supposed to be. He was dating Erica, not Lily. How could he have ever dreamed of having sex with Lily right then? That wasn't like him. He wouldn't do that to anyone. It was a good thing Lily fell asleep; James didn't ever want to hurt Erica like that.

Sighing, James used his wand to shut off the lights. He closed his eyes for the night and caught up on his much-needed sleep. Still, even in his dreams, he had an internal battle concerning Lily and Erica.

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**Author's Note 2: **Hi all, I hope you enjoyed chapter four! Please tell me what you think of this one, I know that not many of you liked the last just because of the whole Erica and James having sex part, but please bear with me! Anyways, please review! It makes the writing process much easier for me, which means faster updates for you!


	5. Dream

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters that are in the Harry Potter books. As everyone already knows, J.K Rowling owns them all.

**Author's Note:** Thanks to xxquidditchjunkiexx, famousindafuture, names are overrated, m, Tearful Sins, Etar, lilyfan06, RubyBinds, JPx3LE, Arista Ramabra, The all mighty and powerfulM, siriusforeva, Cassandra M. Clearwater, julies07, Your Authoress, lizziee, xmushie133x, ameo, koolkatkt123, Katie, HarryPotterFreak4Lyf, zuska1985, MarauderQueen, Violet 10391, Andrien, and Miss Myrtle360 for reviewing! I really appreciate each and every one of your reviews. Nothing makes me happier than receiving a notification from fanfiction telling me I've got a new review! You are all incredible!

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James awoke the next morning to his door slamming open, hitting the wall with a great force. Groggily, he opened his eyes and stretched his arms above his head, a large yawn emerging from his mouth.

"What the fuck did you do?" Sirius angrily asked, marching over to James's bed.

James sat up, his hand going to his forehead. He had such a big headache right now, probably from the six beers he had last night. That would generally do that to someone, especially after a night's sleep. "Don't yell," he groaned, peering at Sirius through barely open eyes.

"I'm not yelling," Sirius snapped. "But what is Evans doing on our couch?"

James looked up at Sirius, a confused look across his face. What was he talking about? Lily was on the couch? Why? Suddenly, he remembered. They went to a pub last night and then came back to the apartment. She was too drunk to do anything but fall asleep though, yes that was it. He remembered now.

"She fell asleep," James replied.

"But why is she here and not at her friend's place?"

"We went to a pub, it's not big deal," James answered, still rubbing his temples as he spoke.

"Did you do anything?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean, James. Did you cheat on Erica or not?" Sirius's face showed exactly how sincere he was being. He didn't want his best friend to become a man that cheated on women. Despite what many people thought of Sirius, with his reputation of playing the field as far as women were concerned, he despised cheaters. It was the one aspect of the dating life that he found disgusting. In his view, if a man wasn't happy with his girlfriend, he should dump her, not cheat.

"Of course not," James snapped. "I'm not a total jerk."

Sirius gave him a skeptical look, as if was questioning James's words.

"Okay, fine, I was a little drunk and I probably would have if she hadn't passed out on the couch. But I didn't, and that's the point. Besides, you know I wouldn't ever do that to Erica, I care about her way too much," James replied.

"Yeah, but this is Lily Evans we're talking about," Sirius began. "And I've seen you go gaga over her before."

"That was then, not now," James insisted. "Things are different then. Sure, I may have been in love with her years ago, had my heart broken, and didn't date for the next two years. That's in the past though, thing are different now, I promise you. I mean, I'm in a great relationship with Erica now."

"Then why is Lily here now?"

"I already told you, she passed out on the couch," James insisted.

"And why have you seen her almost every day since she arrived in London?"

"She doesn't know anyone else in the city. Besides, if we didn't run into each other, I wouldn't be seeing her at all," James replied.

"She knows other people in the city," Sirius stated. "She knows me, Remus, Peter and the girl that she's staying with."

"She knows me better than anyone else in the city," James commented.

"That may be true, but here's another one; why didn't you tell Erica that you and Lily used to date?" Sirius countered.

Shit. James should have seen that one coming, but he wasn't prepared to answer it at all. He'd have to think fast, otherwise Sirius would suspect him of still holding feelings for Lily. "Well, you see, I just didn't want it to be awkward. I didn't know how Erica would react to me telling her that my ex-girlfriend was in town, even though I don't love her anymore."

"Cut the crap, if you really didn't still care about Lily Evans, you would have told Erica the truth about her," Sirius replied, crossing his muscular arms across his chest.

James sighed, "Okay, you win. Of course I still like Lily, I always will. She's the only girl I've ever loved. I fucking chased after her for four years before she finally agreed to date me. But that doesn't matter. Just because I like her, doesn't mean I want to be with her now."

"Good," Sirius commented. "Just remember James, at the end of the week, Erica will still be here, but Lily won't. Once the wedding is over, she's going to go back to Moscow. She's going to leave again."

"I know that," James snapped.

"Just making sure, because you got pretty fucked over the last time," Sirius replied.

"I know," James said.

"I just don't want you to get hurt again."

"I know," James sighed. He watched as Sirius left the room and then took a deep breath. Why did things have to be so complicated? He wanted Sirius's words to sink deep into his mind, forcing away his thoughts of Lily. However, he couldn't help the way he felt about her. Every time he looked at her or thought about her, he wanted to be with her again.

It was stupid, really. There was no way he could actually be with Lily again. He knew she wasn't going to be wiling to completely throw her life away just to be with him; after all, she didn't do it the first time. To be completely honest too, the last time he was put in this situation, he didn't think Lily would actually leave.

Maybe it was his confidence that really drove him over the deep end once she finally left. He was so sure that she was just bluffing, telling him that she was moving away, but not actually being able to go through with it. He remembered that day perfectly, right down to the smell of the air.

_"This is it," Lily told him, standing close to him, not wanting to get lost through the crowds of people at the train station. _

_"Yeah," he replied, although not sounding as sad as he should have. She wasn't really going, he was sure of it. It was her plan to leave, but she wouldn't carry through with it. She wouldn't be able to leave him in London and travel hundreds of miles away. She wasn't going to be able to live her life without him in it. _

_"James," she began, setting down her two very large suitcases on the concrete ground. She had tears in her emerald green eyes, giving them a sparkling glow. "I can't believe this is really good-bye." _

_"I know," he agreed, playing on with the skit. Of course it wasn't good-bye. She wasn't going to get on the train. _

_Lily's hand went to her face, rubbing away her teardrops. "I told myself I wasn't going to cry, but look at me," she sobbed as she searched her pockets for a tissue. Once she found it, she blew her noise and dabbed her eyes. _

_James continued to watch her. He wondered when her breaking point would be. When was she going to realize that going to Moscow for a job was a huge mistake? When was she going to ask him to take her home, back to her parent's house? Or even to his house, the one he and Sirius lived at with his parents. When was she going to realize that she belonged in London, with him? _

_She shoved the tissue back into her coat pocket and brought her arms to his neck, hugging him tightly to her chest. As if on instinct, he wrapped his arms around her petite waist and lightly kissed the top of her head. _

_"I love you so much," she whispered into his ear. _

_"I love you too," he replied. _

_"I wish it didn't have to be like this," she softly said. _

_James didn't say anything back. He knew she would never leave him. She wouldn't board the train. It was only a matter of time before she changed her mind. _

_A whistle sounded and Lily broke away from her, an anxious look across her face. "That's my train." _

_"Yeah." _

_"I guess, well, I guess this is really it," she stated. She bent down and picked up her luggage, holding one bag in each hand. She glanced from James to the train, and then back to James again. If she was really going to go, she would have to go now, otherwise she would miss her train. _

_James observed this action and he too looked at the train. He knew that the line was quickly diminishing, he could tell from the sound of another whistle, telling the passengers this was the final boarding call. _

_Hesitantly, Lily dropped her bags once again and wrapped her hands around his face. She leaned forward and laid a passionate kiss on his lips, one that he fully reciprocated. Her lips felt warm against his and he could taste her vanilla lip balm. _

_The kiss ended before anything more could happen though. Lily looked at him for a moment before bending down and picking up her bags once again. "Bye, James." _

_Still playing along with her, he replied, "Bye, Lils." _

_She tightly shut her eyes, as if to fight away tears. Once they were open again, she briskly turned her body and walked toward the train. _

_James watched as she exited his sight. Still, he was convinced she wasn't leaving. She would get half way up the steps to board the train before realizing she loved him and couldn't leave him. She wouldn't leave him. A job couldn't break the love they shared. Lily would realize that soon enough and come running back into his arms. _

_Minutes passed and he didn't see her again. Anxiously, he checked his watch, citing that the train was scheduled to depart the station in exactly twenty seconds. Lily had twenty seconds to come back to him. She had twenty seconds to realize Moscow was a mistake. _

_With his heart still high, he heard the final whistle of the train. The wheels began to move now, causing a large amount of noise as it departed the station. Still, James was convinced she wasn't really gone. He knew that on the other side of the train tracks, he would see her standing there, her bags still in her hands. She wasn't really on the train; she couldn't be on the train. _

_He watched as the long train traveled forward, blocking his view of the opposite side of the train station. Finally, the last car on the train passed him and he was left with an open view of the station. _

_He searched for her brilliant red hair, but didn't see it. He felt as if someone had just punched him in the stomach; she was really gone. Where her beautiful face should be, there was only smoke from the train's exhaust system. Where he should have been able to smell her perfume, only a smoky, dingy scent filled his nostrils. Where her lips should have been on his, there was only air. _

_Lily Evans was truly gone. He bent his head toward the dirty station floor and tightly shut his eyes. He couldn't let his tears flow here, not in public. He couldn't let his true emotions shine through. _

_He couldn't believe that he just watched the love of his life get away. _

James grumbled and sighed. Why did he always have to think about his last moments with Lily Evans? Why was she so plastered into his memory that he couldn't concentrate on anything else?

As he pulled off his covers and leapt to his feet, James decided that the only way to stop thinking about Lily Evans was to stop obsessing about her. The only way to stop obsessing about her, was to stop spending time with her. That's exactly what he needed, a little less Lily Evans in his life.

Confidently, he through on a bathrobe and left his room. He headed directly into the living room, ready to tell Lily that he couldn't spend any more time with her. It was a simple plan, all he had to do was say, "Lily, we can't see each other any more."

As he appeared at the kitchen, James knew that his tactic wouldn't work. He wouldn't be able to say something like that to Lily, he wasn't strong enough. Perhaps a more subtle approach would work better. He could say, "Lily, I have to go to work now, but I'll owl you later." Then, he would simply never send her an owl. It was genius, pure genius. He would finally escape the hold that she had over him.

He entered the living room and saw her peacefully sleeping on the couch. From her sideways position, he could see her face and was surprised to see how delicate it looked. Her hair was wildly sprawled out and James noticed that it looked how he would imagine his own hair would be if it were long and red, a tangled disaster.

He stood with his arms crossed on front of his chest, observing her as she slept. Should he wake her from her peaceful slumber? Would it be cruel to wake her and then tell her to leave? Of course it would be cruel, but he had to do it. He had to tell her that she needed to leave; otherwise, he would be trapped under her spell for years to come.

However, as James opened his mouth to say something, he heard a moaning sound come from her lips, followed by, "James, mmm."

His eyes went wide and his heart sped up. She just said his name in her sleep, followed by a very happy sounding moan. He couldn't believe it. She was having a dream about him, and from the sounds of it, it was a sex dream.

No, he certainly could not wake her up now. He couldn't kick her out of the apartment now. James wanted to learn more about her dream, perhaps she would mutter something else, more hints about what went through her mind while she slept.

James sat down on the nearby chair and leaned forward, as to not miss a single word that escaped Lily's lips. He watched as she slightly moved, her back twisting. Still, she didn't wake up.

"Yes," she softly said, another light groan escaping her sleeping lips.

James felt his heart speed up even more; he couldn't believe this was really happening to him. Lily Evans was dreaming about having sex with him, he was sure of it now. He was the center of a sex dream with Lily Evans. She was dreaming about him.

Then another thought popped into his head, maybe Sirius was wrong. Maybe Lily wouldn't shun him away this time. Maybe she still loved him just as much as he loved her. Maybe, just maybe, fate stepped in and brought them together the other day. Maybe they were meant to be together.

Just then, he heard her moan again, this time it was different though. Before, it was a moan of enjoyable pleasure, now it sounded more like a moan people made when they were waking up. Shit. She was waking up and here he was sitting in the chair next to her, watching her sleep. Fuck. Why did he have such awful luck?

James glanced around the room, his eyes landing on the doorframe. If he was fast enough, he was sure he'd be able to make it to the door in time. She would never know that he was secretly watching her sleep, admiring the sounds that came from her lips.

Of course, with just his luck, James shot up too quickly and lost his balance. He could feel his entire weight shifting from side to side and he prayed that his own two feet would regain control of the situation, guiding him upright and toward the door.

This, however, was too ideal of a situation to be plausible though. Instead, he came crashing down to the ground, flailing his arms around in an effort to save himself. He felt one hand latch onto the wooden coffee table and the other grab something softer.

With a scream from Lily, he only guessed that the something soft he grabbed onto was her. "James," she exclaimed.

"Lily, hi," he frantically said. With the arm that attached itself to the coffee table, he hoisted himself to his knees. He was at eye level with her now and he could feel his own breaths becoming heavier.

"James," she worriedly said.

"I'm okay, don't worry," he exclaimed. "I was just coming to wake you up, and well, I slipped."

"Okay, but, well, you're still touching me," she replied, her eyes nervously glancing to her side.

James followed her eyes, but wished he hadn't. There it was, his hand grabbing onto her ass. He immediately released her and said, "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to."

"It's okay," she heavily breathed, still nervously eyeing him.

James averted his eyes from hers though, embarrassed about what occurred. Of everything to grab, why did it have to be her ass? Why couldn't it have been her ankle or something, a body part that wasn't so enticing?

"You know, I'm going to, um, well, I'm just going to go," he stuttered as he jumped to his feet. He looked at her as he began to walk, watching as her face became flushed. He wondered if it was a result from her dream or from his idiotic actions.

Suddenly, he felt a pang in his knee. He walked into the coffee table. This was just great. He walked into the fucking coffee table. Just when he thought he couldn't have screwed up anymore, he goes and makes a complete fool of himself.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Lily asked rushing to his aid.

"Fine, I'm fine," he mumbled, despite the severe amount of pain he was actually feeling. He must have hit the very corner; it was the only explanation as to why it hurt this badly.

"Are you sure?" she asked, although this time she didn't sound as sincere as before. In fact, there was a bit of humor in her tone, as if she was trying her hardest to conceal laughter.

"Are you laughing at me?" James questioned, his hand still tenderly holding his throbbing knee.

"No," she replied, forcing her smile into a frown.

"Yes you are," he accused.

She furiously shook her head no, not wanting to open her lips just in case her laughter overtook her words.

"This actually hurts," he informed her, "It's not funny at all."

"Well, it kind of is," she replied, her smile breaking through and laughter spilling from her lips.

"Shut up," he commented, smiling at her after he spoke to let her know he was kidding.

"If it really hurts, come on," she ordered, making her way out of the living room and towards the bathroom.

"Lily, what are you doing?" he asked, following her despite his curiosity.

"I'm going to make it all better," she answered. "Now, sit down."

James stared toward where her hand pointed to the toilet. Grudgingly, he did as he was told and sat down on the covered seat.

"Now, show me your knee," she ordered.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm only going to make it better," Lily replied. "I just want to make sure it's not bleeding or skinned or something like that."

"It's fine."

"James Potter, lift up your pant leg."

"This is stupid."

"No, it's not."

"Yes it is."

"The only thing that's stupid is how immature you're being right now, you big baby," Lily chided.

James sighed. Okay, maybe he was being a baby about the situation, but last time he hurt himself and Lily tried to fix it, she put something nasty on his wound that stung. Needless to say, it was not a pleasant feeling. Besides, he didn't care what she said, hydrogen peroxide should not be used to clean cuts, it was too painful for that.

He looked up at her expecting green eyes, ones that seemed to bear into his soul. He felt like she could read his mind with eyes like hers. They sunk into him, pleading with him to simply roll up his pant leg. Despite his brain telling him not to give in to her request, he did it anyway. Something about her made him buckle beneath her wishes.

"There, it's just a small knick in your skin, nothing too bad," Lily observed. Bending down in front of him, she lightly blew against his scraped skin, sending a cool feeling throughout his body.

As James looked down at her, peacefully staring up at him, he felt a sudden urge to kiss her. He wasn't sure what exactly it was; perhaps the innocence her eyes possessed. On the other hand, maybe it was something else, something much more erotic. He couldn't help but think that they were in a compromising situation, him seated, her squatting on the floor beneath him.

Then he began to think of Lily's dream again. He wondered if they had done what his mind had just suggested I her dream. It was a possibility, but probably not. From the sounds she made, it must have been pure sex.

He dreamily smiled; dream sex with Lily Evans, he imagined it must have been fantastic. Then his mind drifted to how amazing shagging Lily was in person. He remembered it perfectly, despite the fact he hadn't experienced it in four years.

"How's that?" Lily suddenly asked, her eyes meeting his.

He wondered what she was talking about; he hadn't been paying attention for the past few minutes. She was still squatted on the ground, her eyes still innocent, but her smile seemed to suggest something else. Perhaps she was thinking about the same exact thing as him.

"How's what?" he huskily questioned.

"Your knee," she stated, "You know, the band-aid I just put on it, it's not too tight, is it?"

"It's great," he replied. How could he have been so stupid? She wasn't thinking about the same thing he was, she was a lady. She had class. Then again, did a classy woman dream about sex with her ex-boyfriend while sleeping on his couch. Probably not, so he wasn't too far off.

"Excellent," she said as she stood up. She extended her hand out to him, a gesture intended to hoist him off the low sitting toilet chair. He accepted it at once, noticing her soft hands. They seemed to fit perfectly with his; dainty, but not breakable, small, but not too diminutive, and smooth, but not slippery. Her hand was perfect.

---

Nearly an hour later, Lily left the apartment, reluctantly informing him that she needed to go to her parent's house for more of the wedding fiasco. Once she finally left, James began to panic. He needed to be at work in ten minutes. By that, he didn't mean striding through the doors and making small talk with his colleagues, he meant sitting down at his desk, paperwork ready to be tackled.

However, it wasn't as simple as a task as he wished of it. He still had a dilemma to take care of here at the apartment. He needed to talk to Remus about lily's dream. He had to hear his opinion on the matter; if he didn't, James knew he would surely go insane.

James downed the last drops of his coffee as he pondered his situation. Would anyone truly miss him at work? Once he finished the paperwork for his boss, James dropped it off at his desk, making sure it would be on his desk before eight o'clock a.m. That was the only thing he needed to have completed. Everything else could wait, right?

It was decided then; he would go across the hall and talk with Remus. James was quite certain that his dear friend wouldn't be awake at this hour. Due to his werewolf status, it was virtually impossible for Remus to obtain a job. It seemed as if no employer wanted a werewolf on the team, despite the fact that Remus was a very talented wizard and excelled in several fields.

James glanced at his clock again; it was five minutes before eight. He didn't care that Remus was still sleeping. The issue he needed to discuss was important enough to wake his slumbering friend.

With his head high, James strode out the door and directly across the hall. He took out the spare key that Remus and Peter had given him and stuck it in the keyhole before giving it a firm twist. He heard the bolt unlock immediately and he headed into the apartment.

The first thing he saw was Peter, frantically running around the room in search for something. He looked up once he saw James and his face began to relax, "Prongs, you're here. Thank God, that means it's not eight o'clock yet, since you haven't left for work yet, which means I've still got time."

"Actually, I'm going in late today," James replied.

"Fuck," Peter swore. "Damn it, oh well, I've got to go. Remus is still sleeping if you're looking for him."

"Thanks," James yelled as he watched his pudgy blonde haired friend run out the apartment door.

He then made his way through the hallway, stopping at the closed door on his left. James knocked once, but didn't hear any response from inside. He knocked again, louder, but still nothing.

James sighed, he should have known better. He lived with Remus in the Gryffindor dorm room for seven years; a simple knock on the door was not enough to wake him. James placed in hand on the door handle and sharply turned the knob, forcing the door open. Once inside the room, he noticed how messy it was. There were cloths scattered all around, the curtains were shut, and the bookshelf was strewn about. This genuinely surprised James; Remus had always been on the neater side of things, just as James was. Then again, the full moon was nearing. Remus always became moody when it was in close proximity. It made Remus slightly depressed, which made him not take pride in his ability to be organized and responsible.

"Moony," James called.

Remus didn't move. He was turned on his side, the back of his head the only body part visible to James.

"Remus," James said again.

Still nothing.

James sighed as he approached his sleeping friend. "Remus, wake up," he shouted as he viciously shook Remus's shoulder.

"Bloody hell, what's wrong with you," Remus groaned, his eyes snapping open.

"I need to talk to you," James answered.

"What time is it?"

"Eight."

"In the morning?"

"Yeah."

"Can't it wait?"

"No, it'll drive me crazy."

"Fine. I'll be out in a second."

James smiled, his work there was done. He walked out of Remus's bedroom and went toward the kitchen. He knew Remus wasn't in a good mood, therefore, he thought he might be a tad bit nicer for a change. He was going to make coffee. True, it was only half a charitable act; James was addicted to the beverage. He drank at least three cups a day and so far only guzzled down one.

As Remus entered the kitchen, James automatically announced, "I made coffee."

"Good," Remus replied as he sat down across from James at the wooden kitchen table.

James pointed his wand toward the coffee maker, magically making it pour the hot liquid into two mugs. He then charmed the mugs to come to the table, each one resting on front of their respected owner.

As Remus scooped sugar into his coffee, he said, "Okay, what do you want to talk about?"

"Lily spent the night."

"Did you shag her?"

"No, why does everyone ask that?" James questioned, truly bothered by the fact that his two best friends thought his goal would be to have sex with Lily now that she was back for one week.

"Well, if given the opportunity, would you?"

"I don't know," James sighed. "But that's beside the point. It's not what I wanted to talk about, well, exactly what I wanted to discuss anyway. You see, I was about to go into the living room, where Lily was sleeping on the couch, when I heard her talking in her sleep. She was moaning and saying my name, as if we were having sex."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure."

"That's interesting," Remus stated.

"Do you think she wants to get back with me? Do you think that's why she's back in London?" James asked, eagerly awaiting Remus's response.

"Honestly? I think she's in London because her sister is getting married, just like she told you when you first ran into her," Remus replied.

"But do you think she wants to start things up with me again?"

"You know James, you might be right," Remus sarcastically said. "There's no wedding at all. She only told you that so she could trick you into dating her again. In reality, she tracked down where you live and has been spying on you, waiting for the opportune moment to come and reunite with you. Her sole purpose for this trip has been to start a relationship with you again."

"You think so?' James asked, completely ignoring Remus's sarcastic tone.

"No you idiot," Remus snapped. "I think she's here for the wedding and once it's over, she's going back to Moscow."

"But what about her dream?" James insisted.

"Okay, so she had a dream that you guys were shagging. Everyone has had a sex dream before," Remus exclaimed. "Sure, they usually involve models, but still, it happens."

"Or, maybe she wants to get back with me," James commented.

"Or, maybe she just thinks you're a good shag," Remus lazily responded.

"What, no that can't be," James insisted. "I mean, of course I'm a good shag. Any girl would be lucky to get into bed with me, but that can't be the reason."

"I've heard it happening before," Remus replied. "I read this book once, where this girl kept on having dreams about her ex-boyfriend for a month before she was about to marry another bloke. She was worried about it, thought she might still have feelings for the first bloke, despite the fact that she dumped him years ago because he was a complete ass. Then, she went to a therapist and discovered the reason for her dreams was because the first guy she was with, well, the two of them had a very passionate love life. The second bloke, the man she was going to marry, didn't believe in sex before marriage. It turned out that she was just dreaming it because she was afraid her fiancée wouldn't be as goon in bed."

"What kind of books are you reading?" James questioned, giving his friend an odd look.

"Hey, I don't have a job, I get bored," Remus defended. "But anyway, it happens. I'm sure that's what Lily's dream was all about."

"You really don't think she wants me back?"

"James, I really don't see why you've got your knickers in such a twist about this," Remus firmly said. "You're dating Erica, and last time I checked, you told me you loved her."

"I do love Erica," James snapped.

"Then stop obsessing with Lily's dream. No matter the reason she dreamt it, you're with Erica. You shouldn't care what Lily thinks of you," Remus replied.

Remus was right. James didn't know why he became so enthralled with the thought of Lily liking him again. It's not as if he could ever act on those feelings. He was with Erica now and Lily didn't matter.

That's all he had to keep telling himself. Lily Evans wasn't a part of his life. He loved Erica. Erica, not Lily. He was happy being with Erica, not Lily. He was dating Erica, not Lily. He had Erica, not Lily… right?

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**Author's Note 2: **Hi all, I hope you enjoyed chapter five! Well, you know what to do; hit the purple button that says REVIEW!


	6. Unpleasant Situations

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters that are in the Harry Potter books. As everyone already knows, J.K Rowling owns them all.

**Author's Note:** Thanks to dancechic12345, ameo, JPx3LE, potterchik, Zily, names are overrated, Violetcrumble10391, HarryPotterFreak4Lyf, jka1, Your Authoress, Untamed Loner, lilyfan06, xmushie133x, julies07, RubyBinds, zuska1985, sugur-huny-bun, The all mighty and powerfulM, smurfinator, Miss Myrtle360, jitterbug393, Meggily, siriusforeva, and coffeegirl123 for reviewing! I really appreciate it!

---

James's eyes were open before his alarm went off the next morning. He hardly slept a wink all night. With his eyes plastered open, he forcefully extended his arm toward the loud beeping noise. The loud box continued to make a racket and James felt his eyes open even further, if that was at all possible. He began to thrash his arm around, a desperate search for the small black button that would end the earsplitting sound.

Once the beeping subsided, James brought both his hands to his temples, gently massaging them. It was an effort to release his brain from the night of Hell, but it did no good. His head was still throbbing from the lack of sleep. The situation was made even worse, however, by the fact that his entire week's sleeping patterns were off track.

First, Lily occupied his mind, making it virtually impossible to shut one eye without seeing her face. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but now it was a disaster. He was trying to rid his mind of her, not fall for her even harder.

The next night, he fell asleep with a hangover. Sure, he was able to sleep well, but when he woke the next morning, he felt like absolute shit. As James pondered the situation, he quickly realized that everything appeared to be centered on Lily Evans. She was responsible for his awkward sleeping habits. She was the one that went to the bar with; it was Lily that poisoned his mind.

James couldn't completely blame Lily for his sleeping troubles though. This past night, it was Sirius's fault. Sirius Black and these damn paper-thin walls. He cursed the day he ever allowed Sirius to talk him into getting an apartment where their rooms would be separated by just one wall. His best friend was sweet with words though, convincing James that despite the close proximately of their rooms, everything would work out just peachy.

He was wrong though. In fact, he had never been more wrong about something in his entire life. All night long, James was kept awake by the loud moans and screams from Sirius's latest fling. James was sued to this though; Sirius had many girlfriends that weren't quiet in the bedroom. This particular girl though, sounded more like a screaming banshee than a human throughout sex. To make matters even worse though, Sirius and the banshee woman didn't just shag once, or even twice. They went at it all fucking night. James didn't know how either of them possessed the energy to do it that often; they were like bloody rabbits.

Was the screaming the worst of his problems though? Of course not. James wasn't lucky enough for the love calls to be the worst of it. Apparently, Sirius and the banshee woman found it necessary to travel from the bed to smack against the wall.

One may wonder, how did James know this bit of information? The answer; he could hear crashing noises against the wall directly next to his head. He could only guess exactly what they were doing, but from the sounds, it was likely that Sirius trapped the girl against the wall and began to shag her bloody brains out. The banshee woman didn't mind this though; she enjoyed it more than the sex in the bed. James learned this from her whimpers of delight and the tone at which she screamed out Sirius's name throughout the night.

Could things be any worse? James didn't think so, but he was once again proven wrong. Sirius and the banshee woman's sex life only reminded him of none other than Lily Evans. He kept on imagining that he was in Sirius's position, Lily taking over the banshee woman's form.

He could clearly picture the two of them rambunctiously making love against a firm wall. He envisioned her heaving chest pressing against his sweaty chest as he thrust in and out of body, their hips rocking against each other, supported by the wall. He heard moans release from her lips, begging him to move at a faster pace. He could see it all.

James wanted that image out of his mind, but he couldn't escape from it. Every time he heard a bird chirp, he mistook it for Lily's loud, sharp gasps. Whenever he something touched his lips, he thought it had been Lily's swollen lips against his. Each time he repositioned himself, if he felt the slightest movement of his dick, he was reminded of Lily's fingers brushing against him.

There was no breaking away from from Lily Evans, especially when it involved sex. Ever since he heard his name escape her dreaming lips, he couldn't tear the two topics apart. If he thought of sex, Lily entered his mind. If he thought of Lily, he pictured them shagging.

In any other circumstance, dreaming of sleeping with a beautiful woman was pure bliss, but not now, not Lily Evans. He needed this to end. He couldn't put himself through the distraught he felt last time she left. Besides, he had Erica now.

James loved Erica. He knew he loved her. Everything about Erica was ideal; her beauty, job, personality, and she was amazing at anything physical. She seemed perfect for him, could please him in every way Lily could. The sole difference being that Erica was here in London, while Lily called Moscow her home. Erica was right for him, Erica was everything he needed.

Suddenly, he bolted upright. He knew exactly what he needed. He needed Erica, right now. James needed her to remind him of everything they shared together. Her lustrous body beating in time with his was exactly what he needed. It was the only way to remove the link his brain had between Lily and sex.

Sprinting to his bureau, James retrieved a piece of parchment, his quill, and a bottle of ink. From his handwriting, he knew Erica would be able to see his urgency. He needed to be with her before his mind exploded.

As soon as he finished his very brief note, he found his owl and sent it out the window. He watched as the bird took to the sky, flapping her brown wings in a distinct rhythm, never missing a beat. Finally, the small owl disappeared out of his sight, but James continued to gaze out his window anyway. The sun was slowly rising, providing the light for the street below. James noticed there were already pedestrians outside, briskly shoving their ways through the crowded sidewalks.

James pressed the tips of his fingers against the window glass, leaving oily marks once his fingers left their place. He sighed as he backed away from the window, turning back to his apartment building, back to reality.

Rummaging through his clothing, James located a pair of sweatpants and a light t-shirt and easily slid into them, concealing his muscular body. Normally, he wouldn't mind leaving his room with just his boxers on, but today Sirius had the banshee woman in his room and he didn't want to risk her seeing him.

He then departed his bedroom and lazily walked down the hall. As he walked passed the bathroom, he heard the sink water running and lightly knocked on the half-open door. "Sirius," he softly called.

The water stopped at once and James heard feet shuffling inside. Soon enough, Sirius appeared at the door, clad in a white towel across his waist. "Hey, James."

"What are you doing?"

"Just getting ready to take a shower," Sirius innocently replied.

"Is she still here?" James asked, putting a great emphasis on "she."

"Yeah, why?"

"Where is she?"

"In my room, waiting for me," he answered, a large grin plastered on his face.

"Where the fuck did you find her? Her bloody screams kept me up all night," James complained.

"Tell me about it," Sirius replied, the grin becoming more mischievous as the morning progressed.

"Shut up," James groaned.

"She's pretty amazing."

"Sounded like it."

"In a few minutes, it'll be four times," Sirius proudly remarked, beating his previous record of three times within twenty-four hours.

"Cleaning up for the banshee?" James wittily asked.

"Nope, just getting everything ready in here."

James let out a noise of displeasure at that comment. Sirius and the banshee woman were going to have sex in the shower… in his shower. Just great. Just bloody great.

"You didn't need it, did you?" Sirius asked.

"No, it's fine… I don't think I'm going to go to work today anyway."

A look of concern replaced Sirius's grin in a matter of seconds. "James, are you okay? You've been slacking off at work all week. Trust me, the bosses really don't like it when you fall asleep, come in late, and skip work altogether."

"Its fine, my boss loves me."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, it doesn't matter," James replied.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I was thinking about going to see Erica today, that's all," he responded.

"Okay," Sirius slowly said. He stared at his best friend for a few moments, taking in just how exhausted he looked. His eyes were slightly red, an obvious sign of his lack of sleep. His body seemed tense too, very different compared to the casual stride he usually possessed.

"I'll let you get back to the banshee," James stated.

Sirius didn't correct him with the proper name for the girl he was about to shag, but did say, "James, don't forget about tonight. It's a full moon and we're meeting at Moony's spot around seven."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," James called back, still heading toward the kitchen as he spoke. Once there, James poured himself a steaming mug of coffee, forcing the caffeine into his system. He needed something to get him through the day.

James began to flip through the _Daily Prophet_, noted that another attack on muggles occurred, and took another sip of the steaming liquid that slid down his throat, warming his stomach. This was nothing far from normal; muggles were attacked left and right. The worst of it all was that most of the murders fled from the crime scene before they were discovered, making it impossible to track down the Dark wizards.

He sighed and lightly brought his fingers to his temples. The world as he knew it was a complete mess. A fierce tapping noise sounded from the window, ripping James's attention from the world's events. Looking out, he saw that it was a scrawny, old, barn owl; it was his owl.

James instantly went to the window, letting the bird into the apartment. He took the note from the owl's leg and flipped him a treat, rewarding the old bird for bringing Erica's response so quickly.

A smile appeared across his face as he read the familiar curves of Erica's handwriting. In her letter, she informed him that now would be an excellent time to visit. "Good," he thought, this was urgent.

---

As soon as James arrived at Erica's apartment door, he heavily knocked on it. His fists pounded onto the wooden door, each knock more forceful than the previous.

After what seemed like an eternity, Erica's face appeared through the small crack of the door. Once she saw the knocking belonged to her boyfriend, a smile of relief spread across her lips. She opened the door at once, beckoning him to come in.

James didn't need any persuasion though. As soon as he was physically in the room, he pressed his lips against hers, harshly sucking on her lower lip. He wrapped his arms around her small form, pressing every curve of her body against him.

For a moment, Erica was stiff beneath his touch, but then she settled down. This wasn't the type of visit that required peaceful conversation; it was purely about passion. James needed to feel her touch on his skin and she wasn't going to deny him of that opportunity.

Somehow, James managed to guide them over to the couch. He stumbled downward, his arms still grasped around her waist, not letting her part from his lips for a single moment. Erica instantly spread her legs around his hips, trapping him beneath her. She felt his hands grasp her ass, pulling it tightly down on him, grinding her body against his. His hands soon slid into her jeans, into her cotton underwear, grasping skin.

Erica's lips parted his for a moment and she began to kiss her way down his chin, stopping at his neck. Meanwhile, she rocked her hips against his, creating a constant rhythm between their bodies. Although she initiated the thrusting movements, she felt James's hands press harder against her bare bottom, forcing her to move faster than she would have otherwise done.

Once her was certain that she could maintain the dry sex action, he removed his hands from her jeans and began to roam her back. His hands slipped under her shirt, feeling her sweating skin beneath his fingertips. He could feel her bra clasped tight against her back, concealing his favorite physical aspect of her body. Expertly, he let the bra fall loose around her chest. His hands roamed to the front of her body and he tightly gripped her left breast as he maneuvered their bodies sideways across the couch.

She made a soft moaning noise as he began to caress her breast, feeling the hard nipple in his sweaty palm. Still, he didn't rip her shirt from her chest, despite his urge to do so. Instead, he kissed at her neck, sucking on her soft flesh. He then kissed a trail back towards her lips, vigorously kissing at her lower lip.

Before he realized it, she was back on top of him. She ripped at his clothing, tearing it from his sweating body. She then sat on his hips, feeling his hardness with his own femininity. She made sure he was watching as she pulled her shirt over her head and let her bra fall to the side. She knew it drove him wild.

Just as Erica wanted, his hips began to thrust into her again and he tried to sit up to reach her breasts with his lips. After a failed attempt, Erica rolled over to she was now on the bottom. He slid up and down the length of her body, kissing at various places, making her clench with desire.

Her legs were spread apart, and she felt something enter her. It wasn't his manhood though, she knew that right away. Still, he was able to pleasure her body, tricking her to believe it was him inside her. She didn't want to come right away, but couldn't help what her body was doing. With one sharp gasp, she finished and his fingers pulled away.

With her chest still heaving, she kissed his bare chest and slid down his body. She positioned herself in-between his legs and began to perform an act that she considered more sacred than sex itself.

James was very surprised by this act. He knew Erica would much rather have true intercourse than do this, but was grateful for her. It felt so good, pleasure similar, yet different than a shag would provide.

As fluids drained from his body, he felt a sudden happiness come over him. Everything was perfect again. Nothing in the world mattered. Everything he needed now was right here, in this room. It was just him and Lily…

His head snapped up. Did he just think of Lily? Shit. He did. He thought of Lily Evans after receiving head from his girlfriend. How could this be? Erica was supposed to clear his mind of Lily, not remind him of her. Fucking, bloody hell. This was just great. He couldn't believe how incredibly awful this was.

His stiffness didn't go unnoticed by Erica, who crawled up next to him, taking in his steaming body. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," he squealed, his voice higher than usual. "Just fine."

"Are you sure?"

"What is this, the fucking inquisition?" he snapped.

Erica looked hurt by his words and she pulled back, letting the cool air touch his bare chest instead of her soft breasts.

"Fuck, I didn't mean it like that," he quietly stated.

"I know you didn't," she replied, brining her body closer to his. "Promise me you're okay though?"

"I promise," he whispered.

---

Later that day, James found himself hand in hand with Erica, wandering the streets of London. He didn't go to work that day, nor did he intend to do so. He needed a break from everything in his life. He needed a day of just him and Erica, which is what he had at that moment.

After the incident in which he thought of Lily Evans after being very intimate with Erica, James was determined to rid his mind of the red-haired beauty. He spent the rest of the day with Erica, reminiscing about wonderful times they shared with each.

This cleared his mind of Lily completely. Not once did he picture her emerald green eyes staring up at him. All he saw was Erica; his precious, beautiful Erica.

"What are you doing tonight?" Erica sweetly asked, lightly swinging her hand as she spoke, forcing James's to along.

"Remus isn't feeling very well tonight, so I thought I would go see him," James casually said.

"Is it just me, or does he get sick at least once a month?" she questioned, a hint of sarcasm in her tone.

James merely laughed at her words, trying his best to conceal his worry. He didn't tell Erica that Remus was a werewolf, nor did he want to. It was Remus's secret to tell, not his. Besides, he knew she would chide him for becoming an illegal Animagi. To be completely honest, he was in no mood to deal with her criticizing words.

"Is he okay though?" she asked.

"He'll be fine," James immediately replied.

"Are you sure you should go over there? I don't want you to get sick too," Erica stated, her blue eyes beating deeply into his skin.

"I'll be fine," he began. "Besides, what kind of friend would I be if I wasn't around when he needed me most?"

"I suppose you're right," Erica heavily replied.

"Of course I am," he answered. There wasn't a single thread of sarcasm in his voice; his words were more factual than anything else.

"Hey isn't that your friend, what's her name? That girl from the pictures," Erica said after a moment of silence. Her eyes were wide as she pointed to a young red-haired woman enter a nearby shop.

Fuck. Just when things were going well, Lily showed up. Was there some sort of curse on him? Did Lily Evans have to ruin every moment of his life?

Hesitantly, James side glanced at Erica, wondering what she was thinking. Nothing about her stance told him that she might be jealous or hateful of Lily. The comment was only made to spark conversation, nothing more.

Perhaps there was a way out of this mess. He could easily lie and persuade Erica that the redhead wasn't Lily. How hard would that be? There were millions of women with red hair in the world. Besides, Erica only saw her picture that one time, the chance of her remembering every detail by memory was slim.

"No, I don't think so," James answered.

"Are you sure? I could have sworn, she looked so familiar," Erica stated.

"I'm sure," he snapped.

"I guess I'll have to take your word for it," she simply replied.

James sighed and his stance loosened as they continued to walk down the street. He managed to get out of that trap with ease. In fact, there wasn't a challenge at all. Erica easily agreed with his words. For once, Lily didn't mess up his afternoon.

James continued to walk the streets with pride, still grinning about his incredible luck. He didn't even notice the shop door open and Lily sneak out. He was too full of himself to notice her presence.

However, as soon as he heard her fateful words, his heart nearly stopped. "James, is that you?"

He had two options; one, stop and talk with her and pray to God that Erica wouldn't find out that he and Lily used to date, or two, pretend he didn't hear her and speed walk down the street. Being the man that he was, he chose option number two.

However, Erica chose option number one. As James tried to keep walking, fiercely grasping onto Erica's hands, Erica stood her ground. With all her might, she stood in place and turned to look at Lily, not allowing James to leave her side.

Sighing, he gave into the situation. He no longer tried to force himself away from the two women. Instead, his master plan was to avoid any conversation that was more in depth than "hello, how're you?" Yes, it was a brilliant plan. He could easily guide the conversation to his liking. Erica would never discover the past the he and Lily shared together.

Smiling, he said, "Hello, Lily. Fancy seeing you here… This is Erica, my girlfriend." He pointed to Erica as he spoke and she gave a small wave. He then gestured toward Lily and explained to Erica, "This is Lily Evans, the one who is staying in town for just a few days."

"It's so nice to finally meet you," Lily exclaimed at once, her right hand extended to meet Erica's with a firm shake. "James has told me so much about you."

"Well, it's nice to meet you too," Erica replied, a smile across her face. "To be completely honest, it's kind of a relief to discover that he actually had friends in high school other than Sirius, Remus, and Peter. They're all great people, and I love them to death, but I'm glad he had other human contact."

Lily laughed, not picking up on the fact that Erica didn't realize she used to date James.

"Out shopping for the day?" Erica questioned.

"Yeah. My sister is getting married this weekend so I was sent out to grab a few things before the wedding," Lily explained. "It feels so nice just to get out of that house… my sister's a muggle, so she doesn't quite understand everything in our world."

"I know what you mean, my roommate at school was muggleborn and she despised her entire family because they believed she was an oddball for being a witch," Erica replied.

James glanced between both women. Things were going just great. He didn't need to worry at all. Erica would never know he lied about being with Lily.

"Oh, did you go to Hogwarts?" Lily asked.

"No, I moved to England only a year ago," Erica replied.

"I was going to say, I didn't remember you from school," Lily laughed.

There was a small awkward pause and both women glanced down at their shoes, wondering what to say next. Erica bit at her lower lip for a moment before looking up and asking, "Is your entire family like your sister, not understanding of our world, or just your sister?" By the tone of Erica's voice, it was obvious that she was just making small talk. She wasn't trying to insult Lily's family at all.

"Just my sister," Lily answered. "But she probably is one of the biggest muggles around. She completely despises anything magical at all. Once, after seventh year, James stopped by my house via floo powder… do you remember that James?"

Shit. No, this was not going well anymore. He needed a way out of this. It could possibly lead to the discussion of him and Lily together. He could feel his heart racing and he nervously looked from side to side, meeting each girl's face once. "Um, no," he squeaked out.

"Well, it was the one time that James decided to stop by using floo powder, instead of apparating there," Lily began. "And my sister nearly flipped a shit; she wouldn't come near either one of us for two weeks. In fact, now that I remember it, she left the house completely, leaving me and James alone while my parents were out of town."

"That's right, I remember now," James cut in. "I was staying with you while your folks were away, just making sure that nothing bad happened to one of my dearest friends while they were gone."

"James, what are you talking about?" Lily questioned. "Petunia told my parents that you came to visit while they were away and they were furious with both of us. They wouldn't let you come over for three weeks, and I wasn't allowed to go to your house either."

"Why did they care so much? You guys were only friends," Erica asked.

Shit. This was it. James knew it from the moment Erica opened her mouth. There was nothing he could do now except wait for the truth to arise.

"Well, we were dating at the time," Lily laughed, "So I can understand where they were coming from."

"You were dating?" Erica asked. Her blue eyes opened up wide and she took a small step back, amazed to learn this information.

"Yeah, didn't James tell you? We dated for almost all of seventh year at Hogwarts and into the summer… then we broke up when I left for Moscow," Lily replied.

"That's right, I remember him telling me that now," Erica calmly lied. Her face was turning slightly red, but she bit back her anger in order to seem calm. She didn't want complete strangers to see her reaction towards this news.

Still, it was obvious that she was mad. The tension between James, Lily, and Erica could have been cut with a knife. All three of them were taking quick glances at one another, not wanting to say anything at all.

Finally, Lily took a deep breath and announced, "Well, I guess I should be getting back to my parent's house now… Erica, it was really nice meeting you, and James, I'll see you around."

Once Lily was out of sight, Erica turned toward James and snapped, "What the fuck is your problem?"

"Erica, I can explain," he replied, holding his hands up in front of him, as if it was the only way to defend him from her glare.

"Fine, explain," she shot back.

"Well, you see," he began. He didn't expect her to actually allow him to attempt to explain himself. He thought she would yell at him longer, which would have given him the opportunity to think of a good excuse.

"That's what I thought," she shouted, throwing her hands toward the air as she spoke. "You lied to me James."

"Erica, I'm sorry," he pleaded. "I really am, I don't know why I didn't tell you that Lily and I used to date. I'm really sorry though."

"Did you think I would have been mad if you said you were seeing an ex-girlfriend while she was in town?" Erica suddenly asked, looking him straight in the eye. "Do you really think that if you told me that Lily was your ex-girlfriend, and only in town for a week, that I would have been mad?"

"Yes," he weakly responded.

"God, what is wrong with you?' she exclaimed. "James, of course I wouldn't be mad. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I know you care about me," she shouted. "I know you wouldn't do anything… For God's sake, why didn't you just tell me you used to date?"

"I'm sorry."

"You said that already," she angrily snapped. "But sorry doesn't erase the humiliation I felt when she told me you used to date… Bloody hell, James, from what she said, it sounds like you dated for nearly a year."

"We did," he painfully answered.

"Why haven't you ever mentioned her before?" Erica asked, her angry eyes softening.

"I don't know," he began. "I guess I just wanted to keep her in the past… I don't like thinking about her."

"Why did you guys break up?"

"She moved to Moscow," he instantly replied, "Just like she said."

"And she broke your heart by leaving, right?"

"No," he snapped. He knew he shouldn't lie to Erica anymore, especially about this, but he didn't want to admit the truth. Only his three closest friends and his parents knew the true effect that Lily had on him once she left, and he didn't want the image of him being weak spreading any further.

"Then why didn't you mention her at all?" Erica insisted.

"Because, well, because I don't like to talk about ex-girlfriends," he answered. It was a plausible excuse. James knew that Remus hated talking about his ex-girlfriends, even when nothing awful happened between them. He just preferred to keep them in the past and move on with his life. Who says James couldn't be the same way?

"Still you shouldn't have lied about Lily," she snapped, bringing them back to the initial argument.

"And I told you that I'm sorry," he shot back, blood rising to his face.

"James, to make a relationship work, we need to be honest with each other," she began. "That's why I'm so angry about this. I don't care that you used to date her, but I hate it that you felt you needed to lie to me… Don't you want our relationship to work?"

Fuck. He was really in the deep end of the swimming pool now. Whenever Erica mentioned their relationship and its future, she was trying to guilt trip him. James always tried to resist the sadness of her voice, but never could. Last time she approached an argument like this, he ended up sending four dozen roses to her apartment the next morning. Attached to each rose, he handwrote a little note stating a reason why he cared about her.

"Of course I want our relationship to work," he replied.

"I thought you did, until you lied to me." Her eyes showed no sympathy.

"Listen, sweetheart, I don't know what I was thinking. I should have told you the truth from the very beginning, and I swear, it'll never happen again," he said.

"How do I know that?" she questioned, her blue eyes piercing into his skin.

"Do you want to move in with me?" he blurted out. He didn't intend to let the words leave his lips, nor did he know his reason for saying them. He didn't want to move in with Erica. Besides, he didn't even ask Sirius if it was okay. It was the tone of her voice, and the harshness in her eyes that drove him to it though. He was willing to do anything to escape from that look. Deep in his heart, he knew that asking that question was the easy way out.

"Are you serious?" she asked, her expression softening at once. She seemed to melt into her stance, one much more casual than her previous attack posture.

"Of course I am," he replied. His heart was beating ten times its normal rate and he could feel a bead of sweat run down the back of his neck. He wasn't serious. He didn't want to be serious.

"James, you are amazing," she squealed, wrapping her arms around his back.

The only bright side to this was that she wasn't mad at him anymore. The fact that he lied to her seemed to escape her mind, as if it never happened at all.

"Tomorrow afternoon, after you get home from work we can move my stuff into your apartment," Erica said. "I'm not working tomorrow night, so if we need extra time, it's the perfect opportunity."

"Great," he weakly replied. Just great. This was a disaster waiting to happen, he could tell already.

---

**Author's Note 2: **Hi all! Thanks for reading this chapter! At first, I was going to make this chapter last the entire day, but seeing as its 14 word pages right now, and I could probably write another 14, I decided to make this day into two separate chapters. I hope that's okay with you guys! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review!


	7. A Huge Problem

**Author's Note:** Thanks to all who have reviewed the previous chapters, I really appreciate. Hope this chapter will give you something to read before HP7 comes out!!!!

James stormed up the several flights of stairs until he finally reached his apartment door. With a great deal of frustration, he slammed open the door with such a force that it quickly bounced back and came to a crash as it shut.

"Sirius," he called as he headed toward the kitchen.

There was no response, which did not help James's mood. He grabbed an ice-cold beer from the refrigerator and cracked open its lid. With one gulp he finished the can and slammed it onto the countertop.

"Sirius," he yelled again. Once again, his call was followed by silence. "Padfoot," he tried, "I need to talk to you." Still there was nothing.

Annoyed, James made his way across the hall and opened the door to Remus and Peter's flat. "Remus, Peter," he called. "You guys home?" Once again he was confronted with silence.

Where could these guys be? They were supposed to be his best friends, so why were all three of them missing when he desperately needed to talk to someone. After all, he had just done the stupidest thing in his entire life. He had just asked Erica to live with him in order to get out of a tight situation with her. And now he needed help, desperately.

He glanced around the apartment, but didn't see any sign whatsoever of his friends. He then looked down at his wristwatch, noting that it was seven o'clock. All three of them should be home now. Of course, the night was still very young, it was possible that they all had dates, very unlikely, but possible. Yes, that must be it. All three of his best friends must be out on dates. They were not deserting him or giving him the cold shoulder, they were simply all busy.

Of course, it still did not help his problem. He still made a huge mistake and needed someone to talk to. Erica couldn't live with him, it wasn't reasonable. Besides, he didn't even ask Sirius about it. How would he feel if she just showed up and started living with them? His entire lifestyle would change. No, it wasn't fair to Sirius, or to himself for that matter. But what was he going to say to Erica? She was already angry with him for lying about Lily being his ex-girlfriend. He couldn't just take back what he had said, she'd be furious with him.

He walked back across the hall and into his own flat, glancing down at his watch once again. It only read 7:05. As he paced his kitchen, he wondered how much longer his friends would be out. He wished that at least one of them would come home soon, but knew it wasn't reasonable. It would have to be a pretty miserable date for any of them to come home in the next half hour.

Suddenly Lily's words popped into his mind. She was staying with a friend that lived in his building. He raked his brain, trying to remember the woman's name, or at least which floor she lived on. James paced back and forth several times before coming to the conclusion that it didn't matter who this girl was, after all, he was a wizard. He didn't need to personally see Lily to ask if she was free, he could send her an owl. It was so simple.

Very quickly, he scribbled a short note to her, practically begging her to come see him. He didn't inform her of the exact details to his crisis, but made it clear that he needed to speak with someone.

Fifteen minutes later, James heard a knock on his flat door. He hurried over to open it, revealing Lily on the other side. She was breathing deeply, as if she had just run up five flights of stairs.

"James, what happened?" she asked.

Standing there, looking at Lily, he suddenly felt foolish. She had worry written all over her face and here he was with a problem about his girlfriend. And not only was it a problem about his girlfriend, but he wanted advice from his old girlfriend.

James smiled and then let out a small chuckle. It was actually quite funny, now that he thought about it. It wasn't a real emergency and Lily Evans certainly didn't need to hear about his problems. He ex-girlfriend certainly didn't need to be in his flat now. She really shouldn't be in his flat now. It was quite the little situation he had gotten himself into.

"James, what's wrong?" Lily demanded, looking offended at his laughter.

"It's nothing," he replied.

"What do you mean 'nothing?'"

"I mean that's it's not important," he answered, still grinning.

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" she asked, her hands on her hips and an angry look in her emerald eyes. "Because I can assure you, James Potter, it isn't funny at all. You really had me worried when I got your bloody owl. I thought that something really bad had happened and that you were in trouble or something like that."

"No, not at all," he chuckled.

"James, I'm serious, it's not funny. Do you know what I had to do to get over here?"

He tried to look sincere, but failed miserably as he replied, "no what?"

"I was in the middle of trying on the bloody bridesmaid dress and I get an owl from you. And by in the middle of trying on the dress, I mean that there were pins clumping the fabric together in more places than I can even count and some lady there telling me that if I could lose another five pounds by Saturday then I would look gorgeous, as opposed to simply pretty. Then your bloody owl flies in and I thought that old bat of a woman was going to have a heart attack, my mother is probably still there fanning her. And then I had to explain that it was urgent and that I really had to go, as if my sister doesn't hat me enough as it is," Lily explained, talking animatedly with her right hand as her left one stayed perched on her hip.

"I'm sorry," he said, but continued laughing.

"As you should be," she replied, an annoyed tone in her voice. She then took a deep breath, which considerably calmed her down and said, "Well, go on with it. Now that I'm here you can at least have the decency to tell why you dragged me here in the first place."

Changing the subject, James asked, "So where is this bridesmaid dress now? Is it still on under that coat of yours?"

Lily blushed, her cheeks turning almost the same color of her hair. "No, James, I'm not letting you change the subject that quickly. I'll tell you what though, if you tell me what your so called crisis is, then I'll show you the dress."

"Not a chance," he smirked. Already he was feeling much better. He didn't need help with Erica right now, not when he was with Lily. It was really quite remarkable, this thing that she held over him. He could be in the sourest of all moods, but Lily would be able to cheer him up. It wasn't that the things she had to say were any different than what anyone else had to say, but it was the way she said them that made her different. James really did come to life whenever he was with Lily.

"Well," Lily began, "Now that I'm here, I might as well stay. There's really no need to go back that hell hole some people refer to as a dress shop."

"See, aren't you glad I sent you that owl?"

"Sure, James, whatever helps you sleep at night," she joked.

"Yes, well, now that you are here, can I mix you a drink?" he asked, walking toward the kitchen as he spoke.

She followed him in and said, "What, you have a full bar back there?"

"No, just a few select wizard favorites," he cheekily answered.

"Well then, I'll have whatever you're having," she answered.

"Fire whiskey it is then."

Of course, deep down inside James knew that this was not a good idea. Drinking with Lily could be disastrous, as it almost was the last time. However, in the moment, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Once again, James had fallen head over heels for the Lily Evans charm.

As the two of them drank their fire whiskeys, they began to watch some muggle television as well. To James, many of the scenarios seemed to be simply ridiculous, for Lily they were quite entertaining, especially the ones that didn't broadcast in Moscow. They found themselves laughing hysterically more than once, which only made them drink even more during their fits of laughter.

Somehow, the television turned off and James and Lily were sitting facing each other on the couch, laughing about the old times back at Hogwarts.

"Come on, you have to admit, some of the stuff I did to Snivellus was pretty damn funny," James said before taking another gulp of fire whiskey. They had both forgotten about their empty glasses and taken to drinking right from the bottle.

"No, it was just mean," Lily replied, but couldn't stop herself from laughing the entire time.

"See, you think its funny."

"No, I'm just laughing because some drips from the bottle fell onto your pants and it looks like you've wet yourself," she giddily said.

He looked down and sure enough, she was correct. "Well, at least my entire jacket isn't soaked."

"You idiot, my jacket is dry."

He then took the bottle and emptied a small portion of it onto the shoulder of her jacket, which she still hadn't taken of since she arrived.

"Bloody hell," she shouted. She then proceeded to take off her jacket, revealing the bridesmaid dress that she tried so hard to hide from James's sight.

"It's not _that_ bad," he said, laughing at what seemed to overtake her entire body.

"What are you talking about?" she asked. She then glanced down at herself and instantly knew. The dress was truly ugly. For starters, it was an orange-peach color, which combined with Lily's hair made her look like a walking carrot stick. Plus, it was intended to be tight fitting around the bust before poofing out into a large skirt that only reached Lily's knees. However, it was still too large in the bust, making the straps slightly fall off of her shoulders. It was still pinned in the stomach area, the fabric barely giving any room to breathe, and the skirt was just a total disaster.

"It's not that bad," James said again, once he recognized that Lily knew what he was referring to before.

"Shut up and give me that bottle," she demanded.

"Damn, you can really take it down," James joked, smiling as she took an enormous gulp of the fiery liquid.

"Only because I need it," she laughed. "Now, okay, tell me why you called me here in the first place."

"I don't want to," he whined.

"Come on, I showed you this monster, now you tell me," Lily said, pushing out her bottom lip and trying her hardest to give him a sad, pleading look.

"You look pathetic," he said, "But since I am such a nice guy, I'll let you know."

"Really?"

"Well, honestly, I'm drunk enough that I don't know why I didn't tell you in the first place."

"Works for me," she giggled.

"I asked Erica to move in with me," he stated. "I don't know why, but I did it. But she can't move in because, well, honestly I don't want her to."

"Well you've certainly gotten yourself into a pickle," she said and nodded her head.

"Into a what?" he asked as he burst out laughing.

"I don't know, what did I even say?"

"Who knows?" he answered and took the bottle away from Lily and brought it to his lips.

"Well, with Erica, you need to tell her that she can't move in with you because it doesn't feel right," Lily said, redirecting the subject.

"She'll get mad, and I don't want her to get mad."

"Why'd you ask her in the first place?"

"Because she was mad at me."

"Do you see a pattern here?" Lily joked, stealing the bottle back from him.

They both laughed for a moment, but then quickly quieted down. James just sat there and looked at Lily, just as he had done so many times these past couple days. He didn't know if it was the alcohol or just the plain truth, but he couldn't help but think she was beautiful. There was a glow about her that made it so he couldn't keep his eyes off of her.

"You are beautiful, you know. Not just pretty, but beautiful," he said, staring directly into her eyes.

"What?" she asked, her voice softer than it was earlier.

"The woman at the dress shop is wrong. You look beautiful, not just pretty, but beautiful," he replied, still not breaking eye contact with her.

He could hear her breathing become heavy and the scent of alcohol mixed with perfume became stronger. He could then feel the warmth of her breath against his skin. A moment later, he felt her lips against his.

It was like a rush of excitement came in through his lips and quickly spread throughout his entire body. He stomach knotted and his heart sped up. Nothing felt better than having her soft lips touch his, nothing felt better than her breath mixed with his. His body was telling him that she was the only thing he needed right then, she was the only thing that could satisfy him.

It didn't last long though, a moment later, they were both wide-eyed and staring at one another. He could see Lily's face redden and she nervously turned her head away. He recognized that aspect of her behavior. Back at Hogwarts, the two of them were caught kissing in the hallway by their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and she behaved the same way. Her confidence dwindled and she became a shy little girl.

"I, I should go," she finally said, breaking the awkward silence.

He nervously ran his fingers through his messy hair. His heart was still pounding. He didn't even move from his position on the couch.

Lily didn't say any more either, she simply gathered her jacket and ducked out of the apartment. James didn't really notice her exit; he was staring at the space on the couch in front of him. It wasn't until he heard the door slam that he even knew what had happened.

He suddenly jumped to his feet, or at least as best as he could for being slightly drunk. He couldn't believe what had happened. He had just kissed Lily Evans. Lily Evans! Why did this have to happen? Why did he have to kiss her? Why was he such a bloody fool?

He knew that kissing Lily was a mistake, after all, he had a girlfriend. He shouldn't be off with some other woman, he should be with Erica. It was Erica that made him happy and that he loved, not Lily. It wasn't Lily. He didn't want it to be Lily.

Although his brain kept on repeating that, he still had an odd feeling in the bottom of his stomach. It was a different feeling than before though. Earlier, it was the type of feeling that he used to have when he was younger, when he and Lily used to be together. At the beginning of their relationship, he got that feeling every time he saw her, accompanied by a frantic heartbeat. After a while, that feeling came about whenever something special was happening. For instance, on her eighteenth birthday, James gave her a beautiful pearl necklace, which he wasn't sure she would like. As she opened the gift, a smile came over her face that was so large and radiant, James was sure that it could be seen from the moon. The first time they ever had sex he felt that same way too, a nervous excitement that couldn't be explained any other way. Of course, each time that they snuck off together at Hogwarts after dark, he was overwhelmed with the feeling too.

True, he felt a feeling similar to this when he was with Erica, but it didn't quite match up against the feeling that Lily gave him. It was different with Erica. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't the same.

Now though, as he sat very still on the couch, another feeling came over his stomach. It was almost like a bottomless well was inside of him. As much as he didn't want it to be true, he wanted more of Lily. He needed more than that one kiss. He needed to feel her skin against his, he needed to know what it was like to have her lips kiss his neck. He needed to know what it would be like to hold her tightly in his arms.

It wasn't just sex that he was after either, although from the tenseness that ran through him, he knew it would be the perfect remedy. Although he wanted to see her naked body one more time and he wanted to remember what it was like to feel her body beneath his once again, a simple kiss would do. He just needed her again. He didn't want that one kiss to be over quite yet.

He mentally slapped himself. He needed to stop this. He couldn't imagine himself with Lily any more. Just because they kissed, it didn't mean that anything more would ever happen, he needed to forget about her.

James tried to concentrate on something else, anything else. He thought of Erica, but it was no use at all. Thinking of Erica only reminded him that he couldn't be with Lily and that kissing her was wrong. Therefore, he thought back to Lily and the kiss, which only made him want her even more.

Next, he tried to think about what he was going to tell Erica. He still couldn't just let her move into the apartment and still needed a good excuse. The apartment. That made him think of Sirius and he wondered where on earth his friends could have disappeared to. Which only made him realize that if at least one of them had been home, he wouldn't have sent an owl to Lily in the first place, meaning that he wouldn't have kissed her, meaning that he wouldn't be in this situation now.

Great, just great. Everything he thought about came back to Lily Evans and the kiss. Great, just great.

He walked over to the window, forcing it all the way open. He needed fresh air. He took a deep breath, which seemed to cool his nerves. He looked down at the ground beneath him and out toward the horizon, but unfortunately didn't extend his glance upward, up at the night sky, which was full of stars and a glowing full moon.

Instead, he sighed and walked over to his bedroom, not even bothering to clean up the mess that he and Lily made. All he could think about was that kiss, and all he wanted to do was forget about it.

**Author's Note 2:** Hope you all enjoyed it! Once again, sorry about the long delay. Please review!


	8. Lily?

**Author's Note: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, you have no idea how much I appreciate it! Now, on with the story!

xxx

When James woke up the next morning, he felt as if a hammer had attacked his skull during his sleep. He'd never had such a bad headache before. It was odd too, James usually didn't get headaches quite as bad as this after drinking. He sat up and his head began to throb. It didn't get any better as he stood up and walked to the bathroom. Grumbling, James reached for a potion that relieved all aches instantly. He swallowed it with one gulp and immediately felt the pain drain from his head.

Feeling much better, James headed for the kitchen. He saw Sirius already at the table, gobbling down his cereal. He didn't look up as James walked by him, nor make any sort of acknowledgement of his presence.

Once James got his food and joined his best friend at the table, Sirius still didn't say anything. James, knowing that neither of them were morning people, didn't think anything of Sirius's silence.

It wasn't until he was half way through his meal did James realize that Sirius's arms were scratched up. Confused, James asked, "What happened to your arms?"

"Same thing that happened to my leg," he bitterly answered and pulled up hi pant leg to reveal a very large purple bruise.

"So what happened?" James questioned.

Sirius didn't say anything; instead he got up from the table and used his wand to soar his empty bowl and cup toward the sink. James thought it was odd that Sirius didn't answer him, but simply passed it off as an unfortunate and embarrassing incident that he didn't wish to discuss with anyone.

Once James finished with his meal, he headed toward the living room, knowing that Sirius would be in there. Just as he guessed, Sirius was sitting on the couch and watching his muggle television shows.

"I did something wrong last night," James suddenly admitted.

This had grabbed Sirius's attention. He turned off the television with one flick of his wand and stared intently at James, motioning him to continue.

"I kissed Lily Evans," he said, staring right into Sirius's eyes.

"Unbelievable!" Sirius shouted. "You're so fucking obsessed with her James, you can't even think of anyone but your own bloody self." With that said he stormed out of the room, grabbed his flying motor bike's keys and slammed his door on the way out.

James simply stared at the space that Sirius had previously occupied. What was going on? What had brought this on? He knew that Sirius didn't like him being with Lily, and he hadn't expected him to like the fact that he and Lily had kissed, but this was certainly not the reaction he had envisioned. He figured that Sirius would inform him once again as to what a great girlfriend he already had and that Lily Evans and he were over. But this, this reaction was intense. Sirius had never sworn like that as James, at least with such a cold tone.

James was about to walk across the hall and ask either Remus or Peter if they had an idea as to why Sirius was acting so oddly today when he heard a knock on the door. He opened it up to reveal Erica.

"Hi, James," she said before planting a light kiss on his lips.

A huge lump twirled in his stomach, but once again it was a different feeling that the previous night. This time he knew exactly what it was too: guilt. He had never felt worse in his life for what he had done last night. Erica was an amazing witch and she didn't even suspect a thing. She was so good for him, and yet he had kissed another woman.

"I was hoping you'd still be here," she commented, "And not at work quite yet."

"Um, yeah, I er, I took the day off," he said, making a mental note to send his office an owl to explain his absence.

Erica looked surprised that he had taken yet another day off from work, but didn't say anything about it. James could tell she had other things on her mind.

"So, what brings you over here?" he asked.

"Well, I've been thinking a lot, about us," she began.

James's heart sped up. This was it. She knew that he had kissed Lily last night. She knew what he had done and now she was going to break up with him. How she found out, he didn't have a clue, but she did. She knew the truth.

"James, you know that I care about you, a lot, right?" she asked. He nodded, which she took as a sign to carry on. "And well, it's about yesterday."

Fuck. She knew, she definitely knew. There was no getting out of this. He heart sped up even more and he could feel beads of sweat forming at his hairline.

"I know how excited you are about me moving in with you, but, I gosh, I don't know how to say this," she rambled on. "But, well, I'm not sure if it's the right thing for us to do. And it's not that I don't care about you, because I do, I really do. It's just that I think its too big of a step for us."

His heart slowed down at once; she didn't know, she didn't know that he had kissed Lily. This was amazing. Not only did she not know about the kiss, but he was getting out of his stupid suggestion of them living together. This was a miracle.

"You're not too upset are, you?" she asked, a look of concern on her face.

He cleared his throat before answering, "Well, I was looking forward to it, but if you don't think it's the right time for us, I completely understand." Okay, so it was a lie. He was secretly praising Merlin for letting him get off the hook here, but Erica didn't need to know that, did she?

"James, thank you so much for understanding," she said and smiled at him. "I've got to head over to the restaurant, but maybe you can come over tonight. I'll make some dinner and then we'll have a little dessert." She grinned as she said this and slowly ran her finger down his chest.

James raised his eyebrows and replied, "See you at seven then."

"Yeah, see you then," she answered. She turned to leave, but then stopped herself and turned back to him. "Oh, and I completely forgot about this until now, but happened to Remus?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, concern written across his face.

"Well, as I was walking up here I passed him on the stairs and he had scratches all over his face. He didn't say where they came from though, so is he okay?" Erica asked. She looked truly concerned. It wasn't even that she knew Remus that well, but because he was one of James's best friends, she cared about him.

"I, I don't know," James answered, looking very confused.

"Well, when you see him, tell him I hope everything's okay," she sweetly said before leaving.

It was the strangest thing. Why were both Remus and Sirius scratched up? Was there a Death Eater attack that he wasn't aware of? It certainly couldn't be, no, he would have surely heard about an attack.

Suddenly it came to him. He ran over to a calendar and went directly to yesterday's date. Sure enough, there was a filled in circle in the lower right hand corner. Last night was a full moon. He couldn't believe that he had forgotten about it.

James sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Fuck. His heart sank and he felt rotten inside. It was the one night a month that he had promised his friends he would be there. He hadn't missed it in nearly five years either.

Hating himself for missing the Marauders night out, he went across the hall and banged on the door.

"Who is it?" asked Peter from the other side of the door.

"James," he answered.

He could hear muffled voices inside and knew instantly that Peter was not alone. Finally, after several minutes went by, Peter nervously said, "Sorry James, I'm busy now."

"Busy?" he asked, "Doing what?"

Once again there were muffled voices coming from the other side if the door and he could have sworn that Peter asked what he should say next. Finally, an answer came. "I'm doing Marauder things."

James sighed. From that response, he knew that Sirius must be in there too. Only he would give that answer right now. True, Remus was probably angry at him for not coming along, but he would have at least had the decency to make up a better lie.

"Come on Peter, open up, please," he begged as he banged on the door some more.

"I'm busy," Peter insisted.

"Open the door," James demanded, pounding against it the entire time.

Still, there was no answer from inside the apartment. However, the woman who lived next Peter and Remus came out with curlers in her hair and a bathrobe on and shushed James as once, informing him that it was very difficult to take a relaxing bath with him outside acting like a moron.

He apologized to the woman, but didn't leave the door alone. He continued to knock on it, just in a much quieter style. "Please, Peter open the door. I just need to talk to you."

"N…no," Peter stammered.

"Come on Wormtail, please," he begged. Regretting the words that came out of his mouth next, he said, "Come on, Wormtail, I though we were friends."

Once again he could hear the muffled voices inside. They continued for only a couple of seconds before Sirius came to the door. He barely opened it, but said, "Peter thought you were friends too, until you didn't show last night."

"Sirius, please, I'm sorry," James pleaded.

"Sorry? No you're not. You were too busy snogging Lily Evans to even care," Sirius bitterly replied.

"That's not true," James argued.

Sirius then opened the door fully and said, "Really? Well know what is true? Last night when _you_ weren't there a little boy showed up and just barely got out of there alive."

"What?" James asked.

"You heard me," Sirius sneered. "Now go away, you're interrupting mine and Peter's game of chess."

"Sirius," James shouted as he pushed open the door. "What do you mean by a boy showed up?"

"I mean that while you were snogging Lily Evans a boy showed up," Sirius yelled back. "I don't know how much more fucking clear it could be."

"What happened to the kid?" James asked, a little bit more softly this time.

"I held Moony off while Peter did a side-along apparation with him. He's fine," Sirius answered, still glaring at James with every word he spoke.

"Is Moony okay?"

"He's fine, but with no help from you," Sirius answered. His arms were crossed across his chest, revealing the deep scratches among his tattoo.

"Tell him that I'm sorry," James finally said after he stared at his best friend for a moment. "I really am sorry."

With that said, James knew it was time for him to go. He wasn't going to waste any more of Sirius or Peter's time. He knew that this wasn't going to be solved with a simple apology, especially not with Sirius. It would take time and James was going to have earn his respect back. Standing there in the room and being ignored wasn't going to help the situation at all.

James went back to his own apartment and sat in the living room by himself. He didn't turn on the television or eat anything or anything else; he simply sat by himself. He had a terrible imagine in his mind about what had happened last night in his absence. Remus had almost attacked a little boy. Usually, it's a struggle for both he and Sirius to hold off Remus during his transformations. How did Sirius do it without him?

He didn't want to think about how hard it must have been, but it was all that entered his mind. Sirius was pretty beat up from the previous night, with scratches covering his arms and legs, and he had won the fight with Moony. How did Remus look now?

If only he hadn't forgotten. Who knows, maybe they would have gone to a different location if James had been there. Maybe the boy wouldn't have come at all. It would have all been different. Sirius wouldn't be nearly as banged up as he was if James had only been there for him.

But no, he had, as Sirius so elegantly put it, snogging Lily Evans. Of course, it wasn't really snogging, it was just one light, simple kiss. Still, he felt just as ashamed of himself and regretted last night even more that he already did.

Now, not only was guilty about doing it because of Erica, but because of his friends as well. It was all his fault. Erica deserved someone better than him, and his friends had the right not to forgive him for a very long time. He had deserted all of them for Lily Evans, and she wasn't even going to be around for much longer. She would be heading back to Moscow in a couple days and he would still be in London.

xxx

By seven o'clock that night, James was still sitting in the spot on the couch, staring off into thin air. He hadn't done anything but sit and cope with his own mind.

Finally, he dragged himself off the couch, got ready in a quick five minutes and apparated over to Erica's apartment. Once there, he was surprised to see all the work she had done for the evening. The entire place was spotless, the table was already set for two, wine and candles were placed in the middle of the table cloth, and Erica had an enormous smile spread across her face.

"Like it?" she asked.

"Everything looks amazing," he answered. Even though everything looked perfect, he felt his heart wrench inside. Being here, with her, made him forget about his situation with the Marauders, but made him think about kissing Lily even more. As guilty as he felt earlier that morning, he felt ten times worse at that moment.

"You don't like it," Erica said, disappointment present in her voice.

"What?" he asked, surprised. "What gave you that idea, everything is great."

"Promise?"

"I promise," he assured her. If only his guilt went away, he knew he could keep his promise.

This seemed to make her happier and with a smile on her face, she said, "Well, sit down then and I'll grab the food out of the oven."

"Great," he answered, "Would you like me to pour the wine?"

"Yes please," she replied.

He went over to the table and picked up the bottle, noting that it was a very expensive bottle of wine. He sighed as he poured it into the two glasses. He needed to try his hardest to forget about Lily and forget about the Marauders, he needed to be there for Erica. She put so much effort into this night and it wasn't fair to her if he wasn't one hundred percent with her that night.

It took a while, but James finally did focus on Erica and shoved his problems in the back of his mind. As expected, the evening carried on quite well. They ate their food, drank their wine, and had a few laughs. It was exactly the way their usual nights were together.

Once dinner was over, they went out onto Erica's balcony. Erica transfigured a small flower pot into a small couch and they sat and looked up at the stars, James wrapping his arm around her the entire time.

After half an hour in comfortable silence, Erica moved from within James's arms so that she could face him. She stared at him for a moment before leaning forward to kiss him. James could feel the passion rising from her body. Erica hadn't kissed him quite like that in a very long time.

Soon enough, Erica was on top of him and still passionately kissing him. His hands roamed her back, sneaking up shirt so that he could feel her warm skin beneath his fingertips. She then broke away from his lips and began to kiss his neck, leaving small bruises behind.

After quite a while of snogging, Erica propped herself up and looked down at James, her chest heaving from lack of air. "Bedroom," she said, it wasn't a question.

She got off of him and grabbed his hand, guiding him to the familiar area. Once inside, James cornered her onto the bed, not even bothering to get beneath the sheets. He kissed her lips, her neck, and any other clothes free part of her body before pulling her shirt high above her head.

He stared down at her and smiled. They had probably had sex a hundred times, but for some reason this felt special. There was something about Erica that night that made him extremely happy.

She smiled back up at him for a moment before manuvering their bodies so that she was on top of him. She then pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his small, yet visible muscles. She ran her fingers down his chest, stopping once she reached his belt buckle. She easily undid it and swiftly took off is pants, leaving him in just his boxers. Erica moved herself back towards his face and kissed him again, running her hands over his bare shoulders.

His hands roamed her back until he reached her bra clasp, which he swiftly undid. He moved his hands up and down her body, loving the way she felt. James then repositioned them so that he was on top and they somehow managed to get beneath the bed covers.

He let his hands slide up and down her body, caressing her in the ways that he always did, ways that he knew made her gasp with desire. "James," she said, which he took as a sign to continue even further. He quickly discarded all remaining clothes on both of them, leaving small kisses down her body as he moved.

After quite some time of kisses and roaming hands, Erica gasped, "James, please."

Compelled by her words, he didn't delay them any longer. He slid into her with one thrust, moving slowly at first. He felt her fingernails dig into his back, but didn't mind it at all. The pleasure he was experiencing was well worth the pain.

"Oh James," she gasped once more.

He moved faster within her, knowing that he wouldn't last much longer. He felt it coming, he knew that he couldn't hold it back any longer. As he released himself into her, he cried out, "Lily."

What happened next was a blur. One moment he was having sex, the next moment he was being slapped harder than he had ever been slapped in his life.

"Get out!" she shouted at him.

"Erica, please, I'm sorry," he begged, hopping into his boxer shorts.

"Get the fuck out of here," she yelled. She held the bed sheet in front of her small frame, her face redder than he had ever seen it before.

"Erica," he pleaded, grabbing his glasses off the nearby table.

"Fuck you, James Potter," she yelled. She then picked up his shirt and threw it at him, all the while yelling at him to get out of her apartment.

"Please."

"Get the fuck out of here!"

"I'm sorry, you've got to believe me, it was an honest mistake," he said.

Suddenly she straightened up and said, "Mistake? Mistake? That was no bloody mistake! You don't just yell out another woman's name during sex!"

"But it was," he pleaded.

"Get the fuck out of here before I hex you," she yelled.

"Please, Erica, I'm so sorry, it'll never happen again."

"No, it won't you stupid prick," she sneered. "Because you and me, we're over."

"Erica, please, no."

"Out!" she screamed.

"Please."

She then picked up the closest thing she could find, which just happened to be a framed picture of the two of them, and chucked it across the room at him. He dodged it easily, but cringed as it crashed against the wall, breaking into a bunch of tiny pieces.

"Out!" she screamed again, finally reaching her hand. Her hand was shaking as she pointed it at his chest. She was breathing deeply and after a moment of simply pointing it at him, she steadily said, "Get out before I hex you."

There was something in her tone that made James believe her words completely. He bent down to pick up his pants and he saw her wand following him. Once he pulled his pants up, he slowly walked out of the room. She continued to follow him, as if she didn't trust the fact that he was actually leaving. James back out and into the hallway and picked his wand up off the counter. He didn't raise it at her, but saw her tense up once he picked it up.

"I'm sorry," he said once more before apparting out of the apartment.

James appeared in his bedroom a second later. He didn't know if Sirius had finally come back to the apartment yet, but frankly didn't care at that moment. He looked at himself in his mirror, half naked and his hair a complete disaster. He was still breathing deeply and couldn't believe what had just happened.

He then went over to his bed and fell back onto it. How could he be so stupid? Why did he say Lily's name? Why did he ruin he best thing he had going for him?

He glanced up at his desk and saw a picture of him and Erica, smiling and looking happy. Why couldn't it still be like that? His heart gave a small twinge and James couldn't look at the picture any longer. He grabbed his wand, pointed it at the picture and muttered, "Obliviate." The picture exploded into a thousand tiny pieces.

xxx

**Author's Note 2: **Thanks for reading this, now review and tell me what you think please!


	9. The Playground

**Author's Note: **Thanks so everyone that reviewed, you honestly have no idea how much I appreciate your feedback/comments/the fact that you like what I'm writing! Now, on with the story!

Xxxx

A loud beeping noise woke James the next morning. He grudgingly rolled over and put his glasses on. Once his eyes were focused, he looked at his alarm clock and groaned. He needed to get up and go to work. He really didn't want to, but knew it was necessary; he hadn't been in three days.

He shuffled over to the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting the air fill with steam. He slid out of his clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water pour over his body. He shut his eyes and let out a deep breath. He didn't want to think about everything that happened yesterday, but it was all his mind could focus on.

The image of Erica yelling at him, screaming at him to get out of her apartment was fierce. Sirius's cold shoulder to him made him cringe. Everything was awful. Lily Evans ruined everything he had going for him. The only thing left he had was his job and he silently prayed his boss wouldn't be too upset about him skipping the past three days.

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by a very loud and annoying knock against the door. "What?" he yelled.

"I need to get in there," Sirius yelled back. There was nothing joyful about his voice, it was simply plain. James imagined that this was how Sirius spoke to his family, that is, when they actually spoke.

"I'm in the bloody shower," James hollered back.

"I need to go to work," Sirius loudly grumbled.

James rushed through everything else and turned off the water a couple of minutes later. He wrapped his towel around his waist and opened up the door, revealing a very bored looking Sirius Black.

"Took you long enough," he snarled.

"Sirius," James said, exhausted from everything he had gone through these past couple days.

"What? Was I rude? Are you late to go on a snogging session with Lily Evans?"

"Cut it out," James demanded.

"You stood up your friends for a girl, and not just any girl, but a girl who isn't even your girlfriend," Sirius bitterly said.

"Just stop, please," he angrily replied.

"Fine by me," Sirius said as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"You know I'm sorry."

"Sure you are," Sirius sarcastically remarked.

"Why do you have to be such a prick?" James asked, exploding with anger at his best friend. "I've been there for you for the past eleven years and this is the thanks I get. You know what, you can just go fuck yourself. I mean, this is the thanks I get for paying our rent every single bloody month and helping you escape from your parent's house. I'm the one that's always there for you and I have one small mishap and this is the thanks I get. So just fuck off, if you want to be a prick and be mad at me, go ahead because I really don't give a shit right now."

With that said, James stormed off into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. He didn't know it, but he left Sirius wide-eyed and flabbergasted by his outburst.

Still angry, James forcefully searched for his work clothes. He poured out entire contents of drawers, threw things across the room and even hexed his dresser because his shirt wasn't in the right spot.

More than angry though, James was embarrassed. He had accused Sirius of being the prick when he knew that he was the one acting like a complete idiot. He had actually yelled at his best friend and told him to fuck off. He couldn't believe it. And for what? Just because Sirius was rightfully angry with him, didn't mean he could act like such a jerk. James felt like such a fool. How was his best friend ever going to forgive him when all he did was insult him?

To hide his shame, James waited until he heard the water running in the bathroom before he exited his room, not wanting to run into Sirius at all. Sure, he was embarrassed by what he had said, but that didn't mean that another fight with Sirius wouldn't arise again. He certainly did not want that to happen. Despite what he had said, Sirius was still his best friend and he didn't want to give Sirius another reason for hating him.

Once James snuck out of the apartment undetected, he leaned against the cool hall walls and sighed. Why was everything going terribly wrong for him?

Just as the thought entered his mind, the door across the hall opened and Remus appeared. James jumped when he first saw him, startled by his friend's presence. Then he felt nervous, this was the first time he had seen him since he forgot to show up the night of the full moon. What was he supposed to say? 'Sorry mate, but look on the bright side, that kid you almost attacked is fine.' No, that was just stupid.

"Hey, Remus said. To James's surprise, he didn't sound angry or even sad. He sounded like he did any other day.

"Hey," James replied. He knew he needed to say something, anything really. He needed Remus to know he was sorry, he couldn't lose another friend.

After a moment of James not saying anything though, Remus said, "I know." He knew exactly what James had wanted to say and couldn't say. That was the great thing about Remus Lupin, he just knew these things. It wasn't that he was sensitive to other's feelings or that he was incredibly more mature than the other boys, because he certainly wasn't. He did, however, have an amazing way of knowing what his friends were thinking.

"I am though, I really am," James said.

"I know you are," Remus replied. "And it's okay, women make you do crazy things."

"Sirius told you then," James commented.

"I'm not blaming you for anything. Everything worked itself out," Remus assured him.

"I still feel bad."

"Don't," Remus replied. "Like I said, women make men do crazy things. And for some reason Lily Evans has this hold on you more than most women."

"I don't want her to," James admitted.

"I know you don't," Remus said. "She does though and I completely understand. I know that you feel bad about missing it, but I also know you wished you hadn't missed it."

"If only Sirius could see it that way," James muttered.

"I'll talk to him again," Remus promised. "He's stubborn, but he'll come around, he always does."

"I don't know… I kind of yelled at him this morning," James said, a frown plastered across his face.

"He'll come around," Remus assured him.

"Thanks, Moony."

"Any time," Remus replied. James gave him a small nod before turning to leave. He was stopped however, when he heard Remus call out, "Just be careful, with Lily."

James turned around and looked at Remus before saying, "I will."

"Just don't forget that no matter what happens between the two of you, she's still going to leave," Remus stated.

James didn't say anything more to Remus. Instead, he turned around and headed for the staircase. He knew that Remus was right. He knew that Lily had her own life back in Moscow. He knew that she was going to be leaving again. In all honesty, he was glad that she was leaving. She was the source for everything bad that had happened to him. The only problem was that he only thought this when she wasn't around him.

Xxxx

When James finally made it over to his office, he couldn't help but notice that everyone was staring at him. Sure, he knew that he was a good-looking guy and very talented, but could that be the reason as to why _everyone_ was staring at him? He thought not.

Feeling self conscious, James ducked into the nearest bathroom he could find. He looked at himself in the mirror, trying to see any imperfections. There were no signs of food anywhere on his face nor were there any on his clothing. He then smiled into the mirror to check out his teeth and once again there was nothing hideous sticking between them. He looked down at his shoes; they were the right color and nothing was sticking to the bottoms. He then brought his nose down to his underarms, but could smell nothing appalling. He checked everything about his appearance. His fly wasn't unzipped, his tie was in place, and his hair wasn't sticking up any more than usual. So why were all these people staring at him? He couldn't figure it out.

He sighed and decided that he wouldn't let it bother him any longer, or at least pretend that it didn't bother him. He had a job to do and wasn't going to hide out in the bathroom any longer.

With his head held high, he walked out of the bathroom and down the hall towards his office. He noted that everyone was still staring at him, but ignored it. If they wanted to stare, he wasn't going to stop them.

Once he reached his office, he was about to turn the door handle when he noticed that something was wrong. The nameplate that read "James Potter" in little gold lettering wasn't there any more. Was this some practically joke?

Frowning, he opened the door and went inside, shutting the door tightly behind him. What he saw next made him feel sick to his stomach. All of his things were gone. The only remaining objects in the room were the desk, chair and lamp. Everything else had disappeared. There were no photographs, his coffee mug was no where to be seen, and the usual clutter of papers was no longer there. What was going on? Where were his things? If this was some practically joke, it wasn't funny.

His heart began to beat faster as he tried to think of some logical answer to what was going on here. Then it came to him; they must be cleaning the office. They did this every couple of years, cleared out everything and did a very thorough cleaning. But then again, if that was the case, why were the desk, chair and lamp still in the room?

His heart started to race again. He could feel the color draining from his face. What was happening? He needed answers and he needed them now.

James stormed out of his office and nearly ran over to Mr. Herney's office. He didn't even take the time to notice all the stares he had received. Once he reached his destination, he saw Melissa Gong sitting in her usual desk right outside of the boss's office.

"James," she said, a surprised look coming over her face. She immediately dropped her nail file and stared up at him.

"Melissa, what's going?" he asked, ignoring the look of shock across her face. "Why is all my stuff gone?"

"Oh James," she softly said.

"What? What's going on here?" he asked, worry present in his voice. "And why is everyone staring at him?"

"Maybe you should talk to Mr. Herney, he's available now," she suggested. Her voice was now full of pity, but James ignored it.

"Yeah, alright," he replied.

Melissa knocked on the boss's door and let him know that James Potter needed to speak with him. She was in there for nearly five minutes before she reappeared in front of James. "He's ready now."

James walked into the office, but didn't feel nearly as comfortable as he did three days ago when he walked in. Before, the room looked large, but inviting. Now, it simply looked cold.

"Mr. Potter," Mr. Herney stated. This was odd; he never referred to James as Mr. Potter. It was always James or simply Potter.

"Yes, sir."

"I hear that you want to speak with me."

"That's right, sir."

"What about?"

"Well, sir, to be quite frank, where is all my stuff and what is going on here?" James asked.

"What do you mean?" Mr. Herney growled.

"I mean, I came into work this morning and everyone was staring at me. Then, I come to find that all my things aren't in my office where I left them," James explained.

Mr. Herney's face twisted into a sour look and his brow was deeply wrinkled. "You were fired yesterday," he finally said. His voice wasn't harsh nor was it sympathetic, he told James the news as if it was a simple fact.

"What?" James asked, leaping out of his seat.

"This is the first time you've shown up in three days and those papers you left on my desk were awful. My granddaughter at Hogwarts could've done better," Mr. Herney stated.

"Fired?" James asked.

"Yes, fired," Mr. Herney answered. "I sent you an owl yesterday."

"I never got an owl," James said, his voice rising with each word spoken. He felt his face growing red as well. This explained everything: the looks, the missing nameplate, and the empty office.

"What? Of course you did, I sent it myself," Mr. Herney said, shuffling through his papers. He stopped as his fingers traced along the edges of one piece of parchment. "Err, sorry Potter, I guess I forgot to send it," he said as he held up the letter.

"Forgot to send it?" James said, it wasn't a question.

"Sorry about that," Mr. Herney said and quickly dumped the letter in the trashcan. "Now, if there's nothing more that I can do for you, I'm a very busy man. Oh, and your stuff is all down in Human Resources, you can pick it up there."

"What?" was all James managed to say.

"I'm a busy man, Potter. Anything else I can do for you?" Mr. Herney snarled.

"You can give me my job back," James replied, a little more hasty than intended.

"Why would I do that? You missed three straight days of work without a single owl and your last report was a nightmare," Mr. Herney reminded him.

"But sir, I'm the best here," James said, a little too loud for Mr. Herney's liking. "Aside from you, of course," he added, a little bit more softly this time.

"You were the second best, until you missed a trial and slacked off for the past three days," Mr. Herney replied, not even looking up from his desk as he spoke.

"I didn't miss a…" James began, but suddenly remember that he _had_ missed a trial. Fuck.

Mr. Herney looked up from his paperwork and gave James a nod, showing that he was right and James was mistaken.

"Sir, I'm sorry," James pleaded. "Please, I won't let it happen again."

"Do you not remember the speech I gave you during your interview?" Mr. Herney asked, staring James straight in the eye. "Do you not remember me telling you that the one thing I want in my employees is dependability? Or do you remember that and think that it doesn't actually apply to you?"

James didn't say anything.

"Now then, if that's all…"

"But, but, sir, please, please give me my job back," James asked. "I've had a terrible week, and it won't happen again, you have my word."

"So you should get a break just because you've had a bad week? What about the rest of us? Should I just leave the office whenever I feel like it and not send an owl because I've had a bad day?" Mr. Herney said, his eyes narrowing in on James.

"Well…"

"That's what I thought."

"But, it's my ex-girlfriend, she's back in town and driving me crazy," James burst out.

"You mean to tell me that the reason you haven't shown up to work for three days is because of a woman?" Mr. Herney asked, finally losing his temper and yelling at James.

Fuck. Maybe telling his boss that bit of information wasn't exactly the smartest thing for him to do. "Yes," he admitted, "But she's leaving for good on Sunday and I'll never see her again."

"I don't bloody care about your girl problems," bellowed Mr. Herney. "You're fired and that's it. There's no debating it any more, I've made my decision… Besides, your replacement should be here in an hour."

James stared, dumbstruck at him. Mr. Herney had already found a replacement for him? This was completely unfair, no matter what James could say, there was no way he was getting his job back. Mr. Herney had decided this the moment he hired someone new.

Not wanting to be in the office any longer, James stormed out, refusing to look at his former boss as he slammed the door shut.

"James, I'm so sorry," Melissa Gong said as he walked past her, giving him a sympathetic smile.

James didn't say anything. He didn't want to be around these people now. All he wanted was to escape their stares. He marched out of the building until he was stranded on the streets on London. He let out a huge groan and kicked the side of the building. He couldn't believe that he had gotten fired, and it was all Lily Evans fault. She was the one that had distracted him and caused problems for him. Yes, he decided, everything was all her fault.

Once he settled down from kicking the building, he ducked into a dark alley and prepared to apparate away. The only problem was that he didn't know where to go. He didn't want to go home, not with the possibility of Sirius being there. He wasn't ready to face him yet, not after the way he had acted earlier. Hiding in his office certainly wasn't an option anymore and neither was visiting Erica.

Fuck. Where was he going to go? He couldn't think of anywhere. He certainly didn't want to go to his parent's house; they would ask too many questions. All he really wanted was to be alone.

Then he thought of it; he knew the perfect place. He pictured it in his mind, the dusty, dirt ground. There were a couple swings hanging from a rusted swing set. The edges of the slide were splintering and its metal center absorbed all of the sun's rays. There were some trees off in the distance, and not a single person in sight.

With that image in mind, James apparated away. With a pop he landed in the middle of the old, abandoned playground. However, what he saw made him jump.

"James?" Lily asked. She was seated on one of the old swings, both hands clutching the rusted chains. She looked up at him with a curious look on her face, as if it was the first time she had seen him in years.

"Lily," he said, surprised to see her. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed to get away from the house, my sister's driving me crazy," she hesitantly answered. "Why are _you_ here though?"

"I, um, I needed a spot to think," he answered.

"And you chose this abandoned muggle playground?" she skeptically asked.

"Well, yes. You showed me it that summer after seventh year when I came to visit you, remember?"

"After four years you remembered this place?" she asked, her tone was soft.

"I remember everything we did together," he answered, scuffing his shoe on the ground.

"That's sweet, James," she replied. She then gestured to the swing to her left and said, "Have a seat."

"Are you sure?"

"I could use some company," she answered, "Unless, of course, you don't want to."

"No, I want to," he replied.

"So, what did you come here to think about?" she asked.

"A lot of things."

"Like what?"

"Like you," he said.

"Me?"

"And the other night," he stated, avoiding her eyes as he spoke.

"About that," Lily said, straightening her back as she spoke. "I think we should just forget about it… We were both drunk and well, things went a little too far."

"You don't think we should talk about it?"

"No, because it was a simple mistake," she answered.

"Okay," he calmly replied. No, it wasn't a mistake, he knew that for sure. The kiss was too amazing for it to be a simple mistake. Of course, he wasn't going to let her know that though.

"What else did you come here to think about?" she pried.

"Why were you here?" he asked, ignoring her question.

"I told you, I was trying to get out of the house. The bride-to-be is driving me crazy," Lily said.

"Four years ago, you told me that you always came here to think. So out with it, why were you really here?"

"How do you remember these things?" she asked.

"I was in love with you," he softly replied.

Lily looked down at the ground and started to dig a small hole with the toe of her shoe. "Don't say that," she finally said, still not looking at him.

Trying to lighten the mood, James said with a laugh, "Keyword being was."

Lily lifted her head and smiled, although James could see that it was only a half-hearted smile. Once she knew that he saw her partial smile, she rolled her eyes at him, doing her best to try and lighten the mood. "You're a prick," she laughed.

"Me?"

"Yes you," she answered.

"I thought we were passed all this," he laughed, remembering back to the days when Lily despised not only him, but the ground that he walked on too.

She laughed, but agreed that he wasn't actually a prick.

"Now, tell me the truth, why'd you come here in the first place? And don't try to get out of it this time," he said.

She let out a sigh and said, "Fine, I'll tell you, but you're not allowed to laugh at me… I got this letter today, from my best friend. Originally, he was going to come to the wedding with me and, now you promised not to laugh, but well, he was going to pretend to be my boyfriend."

"What?" James asked, holding back a smirk.

"I told Petunia that I had a boyfriend because whenever I'm single she always says it's because I'm a freak and no one could ever love a freak," Lily admitted.

"So you made up a boyfriend," James stated.

"Yes," she answered. "And then Petunia told my parents, who told their friends and so on. So now everyone expects me to show up with a gorgeous guy of my own tomorrow."

"A gorgeous guy?"

"Well, yes. I told them all that he was a heartthrob and that he chose me out of all the girls who fawned over him," she admitted, her cheeks flushing red as she spoke.

James smiled and tried his best to repress a laugh. "And this guy who was supposed to come isn't really your boyfriend?"

"No, haven't you been listening at all? He's just a friend, and besides, he's gay," Lily answered.

James couldn't hold back his laughter any longer. He glanced over at her and bent over laughing, nearly falling off the swing.

"It's not funny," she protested.

"It is a little bit funny."

"No, no it's not," she said.

"But it really is quite humorous," he laughed. "Seriously though, just tell them that the guy had to cancel."

"No, I can't do that," she whined. "Petunia will just assume that I made him up."

"Which you did," he stated.

"But I can't have them knowing that," she shrieked.

"I'll go with you," he said, smiling at her as he spoke.

"What?"

"I said that I'll go with you," he repeated. "Besides, you did want a handsome guy."

"Are you serious?" she asked, a smile forming at her lips.

"Yeah."

"Won't your girlfriend mind?" Lily asked. "After all, you're going to have to pretend to be my boyfriend for the entire day."

"Well, um, we broke up last night," he admitted.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry James," she said, her face conveying her words very well.

"It's okay."

"What happened?"

"I, well, I," he began before finally saying, "We weren't in love." James knew it was the real reason they had broken up too. It wasn't that Lily Evans had come into his life and fucked everything up for him. If he had truly loved Erica, he wouldn't have said Lily's name. No, he didn't love Erica and probably never would either. This wasn't Lily's fault. After all, the heart wants what the heart wants.

"I'm still sorry though," Lily said. She reached over and rubbed her hand up and down his forearm for a moment before giving it an encouraging squeeze.

"It's okay," he said, surprised that his heart had sped up so much from Lily's action. "Anyway, so wedding tomorrow. I'd love to go as your pretend boyfriend."

She cocked her head toward him and smiled as she looked him over. "Thanks so much James, you have no idea how much I appreciate this."

"It's really no problem at all," he informed her. "Although, do I have to wear one of those muggle suits?"

They went on to discuss what was going to happen at the wedding the next day, Lily informing him that yes he did have to wear a tuxedo and yes she would go get it for him. All too soon, the sun started to set and Lily insisted that she needed to go purchase a few more things for the wedding before all the stores closed.

She got up off the swing and smiled at James before leaning in and kissing him lightly on the cheek. "Thanks so much, James," she said before apparating away with a single pop.

James was left there, a grin plastered across his face. It amazed him how even the simplest of all kisses from Lily Evans could make him feel like he was walking on cloud nine.

Knowing that he needed to talk to Sirius eventually added with the swarm of mosquitoes around him, James knew that it was time to go back home. With one swift movement from his wand, he apparated away from the abandoned playground and into his flat.

He heard the television as soon as he entered the flat and knew that it meant that Sirius was home. Sirius was always watching muggle shows. He took a deep breath before walking into the room.

"Hey," he bravely said.

Sirius looked up from his seat on the couch and flicked his wand at the television, forcing the screen to go black. "Hey," he replied.

"About earlier," James began.

"Forget it," Sirius said, cutting him off. "We're even."

"Sirius," James began.

"James, we're even. I'm not mad at you anymore," he said.

"But what I did and what I said to you was horrible," James insisted. Why was Sirius being so nice to him?

"But what you said was true," Sirius stated. "Listen, we've all made some dumb mistakes, it's cool."

"What I said wasn't true," James said.

"What you said was true," Sirius replied, "The way you said it though, well, damn if I was chick I probably wouldn't be speaking to you for a week."

James laughed and Sirius smirked. "So we're cool then?"

"We're cool," Sirius answered. "So, how was that kiss with Evans?"

James now grinned and answered, "I only wish that it had lasted longer."

"Exactly as it used to be?"

"Even better."

"Better?" Sirius asked, his eyes widened.

"Oh yeah."

"Hmm, maybe I should get Lily Evans drunk," Sirius suggested, raising his eyes brows at James as he spoke.

James laughed, but it was quite obviously a forced laugh because Sirius then added, "Just kidding."

"She kissed me again today," James boasted.

"What?"

"On the cheek," he added, his voice conveying the letdown.

"Probably for the best, Erica would kill you if she found out."

"We broke up," James shortly said.

"What? What happened?" Sirius demanded.

"I, well, I said Lily's name," James answered.

"So," Sirius began.

"I mean that I _said_ her name," James said, his eyes widening at his best friend.

"Oh, gotcha," Sirius replied. "Yeah, well can't really blame her then, can you?"

"Not at all."

"So what are you going to do about Lily then?"

"Well, I going to a wedding with her tomorrow," James answered.

"What?"

"Yeah, bloke she was going to go with can't make it," he replied.

"You sure this is a good idea?" Sirius asked. "I mean I'm all for you getting all it's worth out of her, but don't get yourself too attached. I don't want a repeat of four years ago… you're too good for her to let that happen again."

"Don't worry," James assured him. "I'm not getting attached to Lily. She's just an attractive woman and a good kisser, that's all." Now all he had to do was convince himself of that.

"Just be careful," Sirius said.

"I will," James answered, deciding that this was probably not the best time to mention the fact that he had just gotten fired because of everything Lily put him through this week.

Xxxx

**Author's Note 2: **I hope you all enjoyed this chapter… it wasn't quite as depressing as the last one, was it? Anyways, please review, it makes me write so much faster!


	10. The Wedding

**Author's Note: **Thanks sooooo much to everyone who reviewed! You guys are the best! Sorry this took longer than I had hoped for, I think I rewrote the first part five different times. Anyways, on with the story!

xxxx

"Now remember, my sister despises magic, so you can't do any, you can't talk about it and you can't even think about it," Lily said. She and James had just aparated into the abandoned playground from the previous day and were walking towards the Evans' house. Normally, they would have aparated straight into the house, but Lily's mother had made her promise that there as to be no magic on Petunia's big day.

"Isn't that a little extreme?" James asked.

"Yes, but my sister is extreme," Lily replied. "Seriously, I've never met anyone more like a Muggle than Petunia. She used to freak out whenever I sent a letter home from school via an owl because she was afraid that the neighbors were going to think we were creepy. And one time when she had friends over during Christmas break, she tried to lock me in my room."

"How?"

"She tied rope to the door handle," Lily answered. "Of course, being the idiot that she is, she didn't realize that at age seventeen you can use magic outside of school and I got out of it easily."

"That sounds harsh," he admitted.

"Then another time, the summer after second year, my mum caught her trying to break my wand," Lily added.

"What a bitch," James casually remarked.

Lily stopped dead in her tracks and said, "excuse me?"

"I'm sorry," he replied, his eyes as wide as if he had gotten caught in an uncompromising situation.

"No, don't be," she said, picking up the pace again. "She is a bitch. It's just kind of funny to hear you say that on her wedding day." She smiled as she looked up at him, her emerald eyes sparkling into the sun.

"You know, I can't really imagine your sister in a wedding dress," James said after a few moments of walking in comfortable silence.

"She looks beautiful in it," Lily replied.

"Really?" he asked, shock written across his face. It wasn't that Petunia was an ugly girl, or at least James didn't remember her being ugly. The simply fact was that she was just very plain. Sure, her neck was slightly long and she did seem to squint a lot, but it didn't make her ugly, only plain.

"Don't be mean," Lily warned him. "She may be a bitch, but she's still my sister and this is still her wedding day."

"Which is why you made up a boyfriend to bring to the wedding, right?" he teased, "So that this could be your sister's day."

She smiled and James saw that her cheeks were slightly more red than before. "Don't judge me."

"Not at all," he replied, a grin plastered across his face.

In no time at all, Lily and James stopped in front of a very simple looking house. It was painted cream with maroon shutters and had a cozy little porch attached to the front of it. On the mailbox, the word "Evans" was written in big bold block letters.

"This is it," she said, more to herself than to James. "Now, just don't forget that we are currently dating and in love. Oh, and you moved to Moscow six months ago too and work with me, okay?"

"So I'm a photographer, that's cool," he said. "Am I good at what I do?"

"Second best," she answered.

"Second to you?"

"Naturally," she joked.

"I suppose I can give you this, after all, I was the best at school," he cheekily remarked.

"I was better at Potions and Charms," she reminded him.

"Two subjects," he taunted.

"Okay, enough," she said, finally giving into him. "Seriously though, we love each other and we're dating and you're a photographer. Oh, and we've been dating for four months now."

"And no magic," he added.

"Right," she said, once again more to herself than to him. "Well, here we go then."

They made their way up the small driveway and into the house. It was exactly as James had remembered it. Photographs of Lily and Petunia lined the hallway; some showed the two girls playing together, one was of Petunia graduating from school, and another was of Lily's first day of Hogwarts inside King's Cross Station. It was a very cozy house, one that didn't look as if someone would have a heart attack if you sat on the wrong couch.

"Mum, Dad, we're here," Lily yelled, grabbing James's hand and walking into the kitchen. He was surprised that she was holding his hand and it made his heart skip a beat. However, he quickly reminded himself that it was not Lily holding his hand, it was the Lily Evans that was pretending to be in love who was holding his hand.

"Oh Lily, come here, we want to meet this boyfriend of yours," her mother squealed.

"Here he is," Lily said once they came face to face with the Evans. She had a smile on her face and James could tell that she was a beautiful actress.

"James?" Lily's mother, Julie said, her shock was perfectly conveyed across her face.

"Surprise," he weakly replied.

"William, can you believe it?" Julie Evans stated, smiling at James.

"No, I can't," William Evans told his wife. "I thought you lived in London."

"I, err, I moved," James replied. Fuck. Maybe telling Lily that he was go to the wedding with her wasn't such a great idea. He had forgotten the small detail that Lily's parents hated him. Of course, it wasn't without good reason either. If he had a daughter as beautiful as Lily and he walked in on someone snogging her when he came back form vacation early, he would hate the boy as well.

"So I see that you both remember James then," Lily remarked. James could tell that she was now recalling that same bit of information as well.

"How could we forget?" Julie replied, trying her hardest to smile at the young man.

"So, where's the bride?" Lily quickly asked, trying her best to change the subject.

"She's in her room getting her hair done," Julie answered.

"Come on James, I'll go introduce you to her then. Oh, and your suit is up in my old room, you can change into it," Lily said, turning her attention to her date for the day.

"Lovely," he replied, wanting nothing more than to get out of the deathly gaze of William Evans.

Lily and James hurried out of the room and she led him up the familiar stairs. She hollered a hello to Petunia, but didn't reintroduce James as she had told her parents she was going to. Instead, she led James right into her bedroom.

He was surprised to see that it had barely changed at all since he had last been there four year earlier. There were still Muggle paintings on the wall, her desk held Wizard photographs from Hogwarts, and stuffed animals were intricately laid out within the books on her bookcase. As James glanced over them, he noticed a small teddy bear that he had given her on Valentine's Day during seventh year. It was a small white bear holding a heart tightly to its chest. James knew that it was cheesy and overdone, but he had bought it for her nonetheless. Now, as he looked at it, he felt a slight twinge in his heart.

"James, I'm so sorry about my parents, I completely forgot," she apologized.

"It's okay," he replied, still looking up and down her bookshelves. She kept a few Muggle books on one shelf, all her Hogwarts book on two others and several more shelves were filled with other Magical books that she had received over the years. As childish as it was, he grinned when he noticed one on Love Potions. He could clearly picture Lily's face as she opened a Christmas present from Sirius only to find the love book. She was stunned at first, but as she glanced at it her entire face flushed. It wasn't only for simple love potions, but for love making potions as well.

"No, no it's not okay," she insisted. "I'm going to talk with them and make them forget that stupid grudge that they have on you. In the mean time though, your suit is on my bed. If it doesn't fit just use your wand and fix it."

"I thought I wasn't even allowed to think about magic," he teased.

"Only in the comforts of my room," she cheekily replied.

Once Lily left the room, James stared down at the black suit. Laid out perfectly there were pants, a white shirt, a black jacket and a red and gold striped tie. Grudgingly, he put it all on, feeling as if he were back at school and getting ready for class. He straightened out the jacket and looked at himself in Lily's full length mirror. Despite the fact that he preferred dress robes to this, he knew he looked good. No, not just good, but sharp. Yes, that was a much better word for it.

He flicked the collar of the jacket up for a minute and gave the mirror his best "cool guy" look. "How you doin'" he said into the mirror. He then took off the jacket and flung it over his shoulder and simply nodded his head upward at the mirror. Next, he put the jacket back on, took off his glasses and said, "Hey gorgeous, care to dance." He scrunched up his nose in disgust and then tried, "You know Lily, I hear that people that are madly in love like to dance, so how bout it."

Suddenly he heard a knock on the door and Lily ask, "James, can I come in?"

Fuck. Bloody fucking hell. She had heard him, he was sure of it. He had just made a complete fool of himself and Lily knew all about it. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He couldn't believe his luck. The one time in his life that he had tried new sayings in front of a mirror and Lily Evans has to overhear him. Fuck.

"Um, yeah," he replied, scrambling to put his glasses back on his face and look at natural as humanely possible.

"You look great," she said once she opened the door.

"Really?"

"Yeah, very handsome," she replied. "Oh, and I talked with my parents and convinced them… Well, I convinced to, err, give you another shot." He could see that she was nervous and hesitant to say it. She didn't want to discuss their previous relationship.

"Good," he replied. He was still praying that she hadn't heard him at all.

"Right, so I need to change now and then we'll head over to the church," Lily said.

"Right," he said and headed for the door. "Oh, and Lily, how long were you outside the door before you knocked?"

"Less than a second, why?"

"Just curious," he replied. She gave him a look that said he was odd, but he didn't care. It meant that she hadn't heard him. It was a bloody miracle.

"But if you ask me, 'how bout it' doesn't sound great, no matter what you're trying to get," she smirked and winked at him as she shut the door.

Fuck.

Feeling slightly defeated that Lily had heard him speaking to himself in the mirror, James wandered around the upstairs of the house. Of course, unlike the home he had grown up in, there wasn't much to wander around on. There was Lily's bedroom, her parent's bedroom, a bathroom, and finally Petunia's bedroom.

James peered into the room and saw a very nervous looking Petunia Evans sitting on a vanity stool and a very fierce looking woman standing behind her. It almost looked like she was ripping the hair right out of Petunia's skull, it was being pulled back so tightly.

"Hello, Petunia," James nervously said.

"Who are you?" she barked, although it wasn't the tone he had received from her several years ago. This time, although harsh sounding, her voice was also full of nervousness.

"James Potter, your sister's date," he answered.

"Oh," she sneered.

"Well, congratulations," he said as he peeked further into the room. It didn't look too different from Lily's, minus the magical books and photographs. Instead, Muggle books, stuffed animals, and photographs could be found on every square inch of her bookcase. Among the photographs, he noticed that there wasn't a single one of her family, which was quite the opposite of Lily's. In fact, most of the photographs were of her and a very large and beefy man. "Is that the groom?" he asked.

"Yes, that's my Vernon," Petunia answered, smiling proudly at the photograph that James was pointing at.

"He, err, he looks nice," James offered.

"He is," she replied. As the woman rolled curlers into her hair, Petunia eyed James, taking in every bit of him. "Do I know you?"

"Yeah, I'm dating Lily," he lied. "And I dated her before, four years ago. I used to come here a lot actually."

"Right… so you're her type," she coldly said, not allowing herself to slip up the true nature of her sister in front of the hairdresser.

"Um, yes," he weakly replied. Shit. He had already broken his promise to Lily. He wasn't supposed to even think magic and here he was upsetting Petunia because she knew that he was a wizard.

"Well, as you can see I'm busy. So why don't you go find your precious little girlfriend," Petunia angrily snapped. James was shocked at first. For the longest time during their conversation Petunia appeared to be nice to him, at least for Petunia standards. All of a sudden though, she had flipped on him. Could she really despise magic that much?

Just on cue, Lily showed up in the doorway of Petunia's room. "James," she softly said. He turned around and saw her standing there, slightly leaning against the frame of the door. She was wearing a strapless, navy blue, floor length gown and looked stunning. It was obvious that she had used her wand to automatically apply a light coat of make-up to her face and magically put light curls in her deep red hair. She looked beautiful.

"That's not the same dress that you were originally going to wear," he dumbly stated, not able to take his eyes off her.

"No, Petunia changed her mind last minute," Lily replied. She looked at her sister and saw a glare coming her way before adding, "Come on James, let's go to the church and leave Petunia to get ready for her day."

Xxxx

Soon enough, James found himself sitting next to Julie Evans in the church. He hadn't expected to be sitting in the front row, nor had he particularly wanted to sit in the very front row, but Lily had insisted that he sit there so he wouldn't get lost among the crowds of people. Besides, he was supposed to be her boyfriend, which meant that he was supposed to be a possible future brother-in-law to Petunia, which meant that he was practically family already.

However, James found himself in a very uncomfortable situation. The ceremony hadn't even started yet and Julie Evans was already crying. She pulled out a small white handkerchief and was dabbing her eyes and trying her best to hold back a river of tears. James couldn't imagine what she would be like during the actual ceremony.

On his other hand was an older man, whom Lily had informed him was his grandfather. Of course, Lily's grandfather was suffering from the early stages of Alzheimer's disease and James was forced to introduce himself to the older man four times already. When the older man wasn't talking to James, he was talking very loudly to his wife, declaring that his little Julie was too good for that boy. Apparently he hadn't realized that his little Julie was married over twenty-five years ago and he was about to watch his granddaughter's wedding.

To make matters even more uncomfortable, his tie was starting to bother him and the jacket was far too heavy for today. He knew he was sweating, which made him self-conscious. All he really wanted to do was pull out his wand and mutter a charm, but knew that this was not the time or the place for that. He would have to wait until after the wedding.

All of his anxieties stopped once the music began to play. First, a girl who looked almost as beefy as Petunia's future husband came walking down the aisle. She was throwing small rose petals as she walked and at times began to skip with excitement. She then sucked into the first row on the opposite side of the aisle.

Next, three couples appeared. All three women wore the same dress that Lily had previously showed to him and all three men wore matching tuxedos. James noticed that Lily was first and on her arm was a short pudgy man who looked to be ten years her elder. Lily was smiling as she walked and James noticed that her smile deeply increased once she and the short man went there separate ways.

Two other women joined Lily, making her the last bridesmaid. Neither of them looked nearly as beautiful as Lily though. They didn't have the natural beauty that Lily possessed. Instead, they hid their faces with load of make-up, forcing them to look as if it would take hours just to remove one layer of it. Lily, on the other hand, looked radiant. She didn't hide behind anything nor did she need to.

Soon enough, everyone around him started to stand and James followed suit. He turned, along with everyone else, to see Petunia walking down the aisle with her father. James was positive that this was the first time he had ever seen Petunia truly smile. And Lily was right, she did look very pretty in her wedding dress. However, James knew that despite the fact that Lily's wasn't the bride, she still looked more radiant than Petunia ever would.

The ceremony continued as James had expected it would. Petunia and Vernon said their vows, a few passages were read, they exchanged rings, and shared their first kiss as husband and wife. Throughout it all, Julie Evans was crying and James was certain that he even saw William Evans shed a tear or two. As expected, James found it very difficult to stare at anyone but Lily.

Xxxx

Once the wedding ceremony was over, James had followed Lily to a very large and fancy Muggle hotel for a reception complete with dinner, cake and dancing. At first, James was surprised to see that he and Lily weren't sitting with the rest of the wedding party, after all, Lily was one of the bridesmaids. However, Lily quickly explained to him that her being a bridesmaid was not something either of them wanted, they only did it because of their mother. Now, James and Lily were seated only one table away with Lily's parents and a few other family friends.

The dinner went by fine; both Mr. and Mrs. Evans were pleasant to James, just as Lily had requested of them. In fact, James had noticed that Lily's Aunt Elizabeth had actually taken quite a liking to him.

Finally, once the food was gone, the band began to play. Petunia and Vernon shared the first dance alone and James noticed just how awkward it looked. Vernon Dursley could not dance to save his life.

Once that first song was over and more people began to flood the wooden floor, James turned to Lily and asked, "Care to dance?"

She smiled and replied, "I'd love to."

James took her hand in his and led her to the floor. A Muggle song that James did not recognize at all was playing and to match it's slow tempo, he took one of Lily's hands in his own and put his other hand across her waist. Her fingers were laid gently across his shoulder at first, but she soon loosened up and allowed her entire hand to slump over his shoulder.

"Since when did you know how to dance?" she asked.

"Since I was thirteen," he replied.

"Really?"

"Yeah, my mother made me learn over the summer so that I wouldn't embarrass her at my grandparent's fiftieth wedding anniversary party," he informed her.

"Why didn't I know this before?" she questioned.

"You never asked."

"You used to tell me everything."

"Or so you thought," he teased.

"Seriously, why didn't you ever take me dancing when we were dating? I love it and you're very good at it," Lily said.

"I never knew you enjoyed it so much," he answered, smiling down at her. The truth was that he hated dancing, like most other men. When his mother forced him to take dancing lessons, he refused to speak to her for an entire week, he hated them so much. However, now, with Lily he didn't mind so much. It was an excuse to hold her in his arms and talk to her alone; it was an excuse to be with her again.

After several moments of simply dancing and not speaking, Lily brought her eyes to his and genuinely asked, "If I hadn't left, do you think we'd…" She didn't finish her words, but simply glanced in the direction of the newlyweds.

"Yeah, I do," he answered. It wasn't that he simply thought that they would have eventually gotten married, he knew for a fact that they would have. Two weeks before Lily had told him about the job offer, he had visited several jewelry stores. He didn't tell anyone what he was planning on doing, not even Sirius. It wasn't exactly planned either, he had walked by and saw the ring and it spoke to him.

He could clearly see that day in his mind, as if it had been yesterday. He was walking in Diagon Alley after making a withdrawal from his Gringotts account when he saw it shining in the windowsill. Goblins had made it nearly a hundred years ago, meaning that there was not a single imperfection on the ring. In the middle of it, there was a sparkling diamond and it had two smaller rubies on its sides. Usually, he would have walked right by it, but it called out to him and all he could see was Lily's face. He went into the store and purchased it right away, but held off asking for her hand for reasons unknown to him up to this very day.

Two weeks after buying it, Lily told him about the job offer. A week after that, she had packed her bags and left for Moscow. James had brought the ring to the train station with him, his plan being to propose to her once she came back off the train and ran into his arms. However, he was never given the chance.

"James," Lily firmly said, breaking him away from his memories. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine," he answered.

"Did you want to get a drink or not?" she asked, a quizzical look across her face.

"Yeah, I'll grab them. What would you like?" he asked.

"White wine is fine," she replied.

They both headed off the dance floor and split into their separate directions; Lily towards their table and James toward the bar. He gave the bartender their orders and looked out at Lily while he waited. He didn't even notice anyone approach him until William Evans said, "Hello James."

Startled for a moment, James flinched slightly before casually replying, "Hello, sir… It's a lovely ceremony."

"Thank you," he said. "Now, Lily wouldn't appreciate me saying this, but as a concerned parent, its my job. What are your intentions with my daughter?"

"I'm sorry?" James asked, not sure if he had heard correctly.

"What are your intentions with Lily?" William Evans repeated.

James took a sip of his drink for a moment before looking across the room. He spotted Lily instantly, despite the fact that she had moved from their table. She was standing talking with a young woman who was probably no older than twenty-five and laughing as the other woman told a joke.

Still, James couldn't believe how radiant she looked. Lily wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary, she was simply being herself, but she looked beautiful.

"Honestly sir, I don't know," Jams admitted.

"You know, I told my daughter that I would give you another chance, but you're not doing very well," William Evans warned.

"I don't know what exactly my intentions are," James began, "But I do know that I could never stop loving her. Even after we broke up, I couldn't. Believe me, I tried, but getting over your daughter was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life."

James didn't know why he was confessing this bit of information to Lily's father, but it came out of him like rain from the sky. Once he started, he couldn't stop.

"You love her," William stated.

"Yes," James answered, not able to take his eyes off of her.

"Good," William replied, giving James a smile and lightly patting him on the back. "My little girl is all grown up," he mumbled as he walked away from James.

James then took both his and Lily's drinks and met up with the beautiful red-haired girl. Once she took her glass from him, James slid his free hand around her waist. It felt so good to hold her, so natural.

Once their drinks were finished, James led Lily back onto the dance floor for another slow song. This time, he brought her closer to his body, making the dance much more intimate than before. Lily didn't stiffen at all this time and James wasn't sure if it was because of their act or if she truly felt comfortable with him.

"James, thanks again for coming with me tonight," she said.

"Really, it's no problem," he assured her. "Besides, this is fun."

"I'm glad you think so."

"And you don't think its fun?"

"No, it is," she answered, "Except for the fact that every time you're not around me I get bombarded with questions about you."

"Really? Like what?"

"How we met, how long we've been dating, you know the usual stuff," she replied.

"Oh," he said, sounding a tad bit disappointed.

"An old friend of mine even asked if you were a good, well, lover," Lily admitted.

"And what did you say?" he asked. He knew his heart was racing.

"I told her it was question she'd always being dreaming about," she answered.

James smiled down at her and laughed. His hazel eyes met her emerald ones and the look that was in them made his laughter stop at once. There was something about her eyes that portrayed hunger and passion; it was an image he never wanted to let go of.

Suddenly, she stood on her toes and kissed him. Her lips were moist, but not too wet. The kiss was short, but not too short. There wasn't an apparent intensity about it, but her now open eyes revealed the truth. This kiss wasn't just for show, it was for him.

When they parted, their eyes were locked. They didn't notice anyone around them nor did they care. At that moment it was just the two of them.

"Lily," he slowly said.

"Shhh," she whispered and leaned her head against his shoulder.

It could have been the romance and feeling on loneliness that weddings bring upon singles, it could have been that they were getting caught up in their roles, or it could have been love that made that kiss the most important thing in the world to him. He didn't know nor did he care. All that mattered right now was that he and Lily were here together.

Three songs later, Lily and James were still holding onto each other, locked in their own world. Eventually, Lily broke the silence and said, "James, I don't know if I ever told you this, but…"

She was cut off though when someone interrupted their conversation to announce that the cake was being cut. Reluctantly, they broke away from each other and went to their seats.

James wondered what she was going to say, what had she never told him? Was she sorry about leaving four years ago? Did she still love him? Did she regret every moment that they hadn't spent together during those four years? Had she secretly wish that he had moved to Moscow with her?

Later, once the cake was finished and they were the only two people left at the table, James asked her about what she had started to say earlier.

She blushed and thought carefully about her words before finally saying, "Never mind, it's not important."

"Are you sure?" he asked, hoping that she would reconsider.

"I'm sure, it was stupid really," she replied. "Nothing important… actually I don't really remember what it was exactly."

James nodded at her, accepting that she wasn't ever going to tell him. The moment had passed and it wasn't coming back. Or, maybe it really wasn't important at all. Maybe she didn't really love him, maybe this all was about fooling everyone around them.

"So, I think we've definitely convinced everyone that we're madly in love with each other," he said after making sure that no one was within earshot.

She looked somewhat bewildered for a split second before replying, "Yes, they don't have a clue, do they? I must say, your acting is far more impressive than I could have ever imagined it would be."

"Thank you, yours wasn't so bad either," he said, flashing her a smile.

He knew at that moment that whatever they had felt earlier was gone, whether it was because of the wedding, the act, or true feelings. The mood was different now, it was light and friendly. There would be no more kisses or mentions of what might have happened.

"Know who's wedding I would pay money to go to?" Lily suddenly asked him, confirming his thoughts of the moment passing.

"Whose?"

"Shelby Snider's," Lily answered.

"Who is she?"

"You don't remember her?" she asked, astonished.

"No, who is she?"

"She was in Gryffindor with us, a year younger. I can't believe you don't remember her, she had the biggest crush on you. She used to follow you around, but whenever she got close she'd trip over something or walk into things because she got so nervous and distracted she forgot to look where she was going," Lily explained.

James nodded in recognition and replied, "I remember her now. Did she really only do that when I was around? I just thought that she was a bit, well, a bit mental."

Lily laughed at that, but insisted that it was only when she saw James. "Loved you, that girl did. She put a frog in my bed when we first started dating."

James laughed, but then added his own two cents about weddings he would like to see, "Snivellus."

"James," Lily said, giving him a warning.

"Come on, I know you two used to be friends, but he's an oddball and up to his eyes in the Dark Arts. Besides, I'd really just like to be there to witness someone actually agreeing to marry him," James said.

"Stop being mean."

"Come on," he said, as if she were pulling his leg.

"James, I'm serious. It's because of people like you that made him feel awful all through school. And maybe if you had just gotten to know him better, he wouldn't be involved in the Dark Arts."

"Why do you insist on sticking up for him?" James asked.

Lily looked over at her sister, who was currently dancing with Vernon and said, "Because I know what it feels like."

James ran his fingers through his hair and replied, "Sorry."

"Whatever," she sighed. "Come on, let's dance."

This time a faster song was playing and Lily grabbed both of James's hands in hers. She smiled as he spinned her away from him and then caught her within his grasp.

"Good to see that you can dance to fast songs too," Lily informed him.

"And I didn't even learn that in a class," he boasted.

Lily laughed and allowed him to twirl her back and forth one more time. James noted how happy she looked at that moment. It was an image he wanted to keep in his mind for the rest of his life.

After a couple more fast songs, the tempo slowed down and James placed one hand on Lily's waist and held her hand with the other. As they danced, Lily began to softly whisper the words of the song, "My girl, my girl. Talking bout my girl."

James smiled down at her. Sure, he didn't know the words to the song, but he couldn't help but them to be true. That moment was back, at least on his part. He couldn't tell if Lily had moved past simply friends and into another stage, but as he looked into her eyes, he felt his stomach drop. He wanted her to be his girl, he wanted to dance with her and only her.

All too soon, the reception was coming to an end. Groups of people began to leave until Lily and James were among the very few who remained. Knowing that it was time to leave, they snuck into an empty bathroom before apparating to James's flat.

"James, I honestly can't thank you enough for coming with me," she said as they stood in the middle of the living room. Sirius wasn't home, and James recalled him saying that he had a date that night.

"I had a good a time," he replied.

She reached out and took both of his hands in hers, "Still, it was really sweet to offer to come with me."

She then leaned in closer to him and kissed him on the cheek. James could feel his heart beat and when she pulled away, he didn't let go of her hands. He simply looked at her, waiting for their eyes to lock again. Once they did, he could see that she was searching him for something, although he did not know what it was.

"James," she began, but was cut off when he leaned down and kissed her lips. He wasn't sure what exactly had possessed him to do so, he wasn't even sure if she was back in that moment. Yet, his heart told him that if he didn't kiss her right then and there, he would regret it.

When Lily didn't pull away from his kiss, he let her hands drop from his and wrapped his arms around her petite figure. Seconds later he felt her hug him back.

He pulled away for a moment and looked at her, waiting for her to lift her eyelids and reveal her shining pools of emerald. Once she complied with his wish, he could see that their moment was back again.

James pressed his lips against hers, it was soft at first, but soon became more urgent. He played with her lower lip, begging her to deepen the kiss. She held off for a moment before allowing the kiss to become more passionate.

Breathing deeply, Lily broke the kiss and looked up at him. He wasn't sure what she wanted to happen now, so he simply held her and gazed into her open eyes. "James," she whispered. There was no urgency, but their wasn't fear either. "What are we doing?"

"I don't know," he whispered back.

He could tell that she was struggling with something before finally saying, "I should go now." She didn't move though, nor did he feel the need to release her from his arms.

They stared at each other for a moment, neither one knowing what to say or do next. James's heart was still racing as he stared at Lily. She still wasn't moving, only looking up at him. Suddenly, she stood on her toes and kissed him again before allowing herself to melt against his body.

Somehow they managed to move over to his bedroom and Lily placed one hand on his cheek as she deeply kissed him. He felt his heart melt at that gesture, wanting nothing more than to tell her that he had never stopped loving her. He didn't say anything though and chose to express himself through his kisses.

James maneuvered her onto his bed and as he laid down on top of her, he took a second to stop their kisses and look at her. Her hair was a slight mess, her cheeks were pink, and her lips were swollen. But that wasn't what drew his attention, it was her eyes. They showed him everything he wanted to see, they showed that she wanted him.

He bent down and kissed her once again. He felt her small hands tug at his jacket and together they managed to unbutton his shirt. She placed her hands across his chest, feeling the heat gravitate between them. He unzipped her dress and she broke away from him to stand up and allow the dress to fall to her feet.

As they stood, James lightly placed a kiss on Lily's tender lips. He then softly kissed her neck before coming to her shoulder and placed such a light kiss, that she could barely feel it.

James knew in his heart that this moment wasn't about the wedding or their acting. This moment was real. This moment was about a man and a woman, about him and about her. This moment was about a love that had never quite died.

Xxxx

**Author's Note 2: **Okay, I know, extremely mushy and lovey dovey, but I hope it makes you all happy because I loved writing it so much! Anyways, let me know what you all think! There's not much left to the story, so I'd love to hear your feedback!


	11. King's Cross

02/08/2007 19:03:00

**Author's Note: **Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! I'm glad that so many of you liked chapter 10, it was one of my favorites too! Anyways, I hope this one lives up to it. Now, on with the story!

xxxx

When James woke up the next morning, it was because he felt coldness against his chest. Where Lily had laid against him all night, there was now nothing but air. He could tell she hadn't left the bed yet, he could still feel her weight on the other side of his bed.

Without lifting his eyelids, James reached out his hand and grabbed her wrist. Other than that one swift motion, he didn't move at all, not even an inch.

He heard Lily gasp as his touch and say, "Merlin, you scared me."

"Where're you going?" he grumbled, eyes still softly shut.

"I've got to go now," she replied, her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Where?"

"Home," she answered. "My train leaves in an hour."

"Don't go," he whined, his hand still holding her wrist.

She giggled, but said, "I've got to go."

"There are other trains," he mumbled.

"Not today," she replied.

James finally opened his eyes and with his free hand he groped around his nightstand for his glasses. Once she came into view, he could see that she was sitting up on the bed, the sheet up to her chest. She was looking at him with a pleased look on her face, a look that he used to see all the time.

"You can stay another day," he suggested, propping himself up by his one elbow.

"No I can't," she softly replied. Her pleased face was turning into disappointment.

"Why not?"

"The Muggle train only goes to Moscow once a week. Portkeys are nearly impossible to get a hold of on such a short time frame, apparting to countries is very dangerous, and the Wizard customs takes hours to get through with all the searching for the Dark Arts stuff," Lily informed him.

He pouted out his bottom lip and gave her his best pleading eyes. To this, she smiled at him and leaned closer to him. She was just inches away from his lips when she said, "I wish." She then met his lips with her own and a warm feeling overcame him.

The kiss didn't last very long, but once Lily pulled away from him, he opened his eyes to see that hers were still shut.

"What if you just never went back," he suggested.

Lily stared blankly at him for a moment before bursting into laughter. "Oh, James, you always did have a sense of humor."

He wasn't joking though. He meant every word, although he certainly did not let her in on this secret. He weakly smiled at her and managed to get out a small chuckle.

Their eyes met for a moment, once their "laughter" subsided. He knew she didn't want to leave, no one could look at him that way and not think it. He also knew that she would never admit it, she was too strong minded.

"Well, I really do need to go pack up all my stuff," she finally said, tearing her eyes away from his.

He slowly nodded his head and they both left the warmth of James's bed. He offered her one of his shirts to put on instead of her bridesmaid dress, but she refused.

Lily then left to gather her belongings, leaving James alone with his thoughts. He already told her he would go with her to the train station, just as he did four years ago.

As he sipped on his coffee, he began to think about last night. It was amazing, indescribable really. It was as if he hadn't had sex at all in those four years since she left him, it was purely magical.

He only hoped that she felt the same way as he did. To him, it was more than just a shag. It was, as clichéd as he knew it sounded, making love. He put his entire heart into every single kiss.

What if she didn't feel the same way though? What if it was just a meaningless shag for her? After all, it was still in her plans to leave today. Maybe she didn't feel the same way as he felt about her.

No, that would be ridiculous. There was too much passion for it to have just been a meaningless shag. He knew she still cared about him, the only question was, how much did she care? As of now, she was still heading for Moscow, but maybe it would be different this time around. She still wanted him to go to King's Cross with him… maybe there was still hope after all.

With that thought in mind, James received Lily quite well when she knocked on his apartment door twenty minutes later. Her luggage was already magically shrunk and in her pocket and they both planned on apparating into a dark alley about a minute's walk from the train station.

Once inside King's Cross, they walked toward Gate 15. This was the second time James had been inside King's Cross since he left Hogwarts. The only other time was to see Lily off on her first journey to Moscow.

Now, as they stood in front of the station gate, James took in the very familiar surroundings. It was like déjà vu, everything was exactly as it was four years ago. The air was still smoky from the train, there were still tons of Muggles surrounding them, and everything felt the same.

"This is it," Lily said, glancing between James and the train.

"Yeah, it is," he replied, following her gaze toward the train. He was certain it was the same exact train and gate from four years ago.

"Thank you for everything," she said. She took both of his hands in her own, forcing him to look into her emerald eyes.

"It was nothing," he answered.

"You keep saying that, but it means a lot to me."

"I just wish you didn't have to leave so soon," he honestly told her.

"Yeah, I know," she began, "But I have to."

"I know."

"Listen, about last night," she began, her eyes gleaming into his.

He knew it, she felt the same way about him, he was confident. She wasn't going to leave this time. This was different than before, he knew it.

"Yeah," he said, a goofy smile on his face.

"I can't think of a more perfect way to say goodbye to you," she finished.

His smile dropped, but only for a second. It was the perfect way to say goodbye. Of course it was. How could he be so stupid? How could he actually think that she would say anything different? She was going to leave this time, just like she did last time.

"And last night, at my sister's wedding," Lily said, still holding onto his hands, "I was going to say that I've wanted to tell you for a while that a part of me has always wished that we lived in another world so that we could be together."

His heart was pounding. Okay, maybe he was wrong. Maybe she did want to be with him, maybe she wasn't actually going to leave this time. This time, she was going to be his to hold and to love for the rest of his life.

"But I know that it can't happen, as much fun as we do have together. If only our jobs didn't take us so far apart," she concluded.

Okay, maybe not. She needed to make up her mind and finish tormenting his mind. He wanted her to stay with him and want to stay with him. He didn't want her to flip flop between the two alternatives, he didn't want her to leave him again.

The train conductor blew the horn and James heard a man faintly yell, "Two minutes until boarding is over, two minutes."

Lily was looking at him with expecting eyes, her hands still in his. He knew she wanted some sort of answer from him, but he wasn't sure what she was looking for. What was he supposed to say to her? Yeah, too bad life sucks. No, that certainly wasn't it.

"If only," he finally said.

She gave his hands a tight squeeze before releasing them from her grasp. "I guess I'd better get going then."

James looked up at the clock; she had one minute to board the train. "Bye."

"Bye, James," she said.

Lily turned away from him and began to walk away. His heart was pounding as he watched her leave him. The familiarity between now and then was so close, it was frightening. He could almost predict what would happen next. He knew she would look back one last time before never coming back to him.

But as she continued to walk away from him, she didn't look back. His head was racing. Why wasn't she looking back at him. She needed to look back at him. She needed to acknowledge her love for him.

Unless, just maybe, it was too difficult this time. Maybe she knew that if she looked back, she would never get on that train.

Not knowing what else to do, James ran after her and yelled, "Lily, wait."

She came to a halt and turned to look back at him. Her red hair swayed across her back and he could see that she was breathing deeply.

"Yes, James?"

As he stood there with her, holding up the line of people behind her, he suddenly didn't know what to say. There were no tears in her eyes and there wasn't a sense of longing in her eyes.

"I, I," he stuttered before regaining his composure and said, "Take care."

She warmly smiled at him and replied, "Thank you. You too."

He then stepped back and watched as she boarded the train. Once the line behind her diminished, he stayed to watch the train leave. Smoke blew out from the top of it and it let out a whistle before departing the station.

Unlike last time, he wasn't expecting to see Lily on the other side. He knew she was gone and she wasn't coming back. She knew what life felt like without him and didn't mind facing the world without him. She was ready to love again and to live without him by her side.

It had been nearly an hour since the train left, but James still found himself standing in the middle of King's Cross Station. Crowds of people had left him and he stood alone at Gate 15.

Eventually a janitor approached him and asked "Anything I can help you with son?"

James looked around for a moment, startled by the voice. He soon found he janitor standing in front of him, a concerned look spread across his wrinkled face. "No, I was just watching someone go."

"Train left an hour ago," the janitor informed him.

"It's been that long?" James questioned.

"Afraid so."

"Must've dozed off or something," James remarked.

"You in love with a girl?" the janitor questioned, his old eyes looked like they were full of wisdom.

"How'd you know?"

"You aren't the first one I've seen standing around for someone," he answered.

"The sad thing is that this is the second time I've had to do this," James said.

"Same girl?"

"Yeah."

"Then what in God's name are you doing still standing here?" the old man barked.

"What do you mean?" James asked, a defensive tone replacing his calm one.

"I mean that if you love this girl, then what in God's name are you doing here and not with her?"

"She doesn't love me," James answered, eyes narrowing in on the old man in front of him.

"How do you know that?"

"She left again," James replied. "If she loved me, she wouldn't have left me here again."

"Does she know how you feel?" the old janitor asked.

"Yes."

The old man gave him a scrutinizing look.

"Okay, fine, no she doesn't know. How could I tell her? She came back to London for one week and we accidentally bumped into each other. Otherwise, I wouldn't have even known she was here. And what was I supposed to say, 'by the way Lily, I've spent every waking hour this week thinking about you, was dumped because of you, had my friends hate me for a couple days because of you and was fired because of you. Oh, and by the way, after these four years, I still love you.' No, that's just mad," James ranted.

"Four years and you still love this girl?" the old man asked.

"Yes," James answered.

"And I'm going to ask you one more time, why are you still here?"

"There's nothing I can do."

"You know, you say that you know she doesn't love you because she left. But you also claim to love her and didn't stop her from leaving," the old man stated.

"What's your point?"

The old man sighed and mumbled to himself "kids these days, you've got to spell everything out for them," before he stared James straight in the eye and said, "Go get her."

"What?"

"I said go get her," the old man repeated. "Trust me, you don't want to waste the rest of your life away wondering what might have happened if you had only told her that you loved her. Now, call me crazy, but I believe in this fate stuff and if you were brought together this time, I think it was for a reason. So go after her and tell her you love her."

James thought about the old janitor's words, but was still hesitant, after all this guy was only a janitor, how much could he possibly know? But the more he looked at the older man, the more he knew he was right. He needed to see Lily one more time. He needed to go after her, he needed her to know that he never stopped loving her.

His heart began to race and a smile came over his face. He felt a twinge in his stomach, but it wasn't a bad feeling, it was an excited feeling. He was really going to do this. He was going to find Lily Evans and tell her that he was madly in love with her.

"Where's the ticket booth?" James asked the old janitor.

He saw a smile appear at the old man's lips and pointed towards the entrance of King's Cross. "Good luck."

"Thank you," James called as he ran for the ticket booth. He felt a rush of excitement overcome him. He ran faster than he had ever ran before, adrenalin was pumping through his body. He was going to tell Lily Evans the truth.

On his way to the ticket booth, James ran into several people and muttered his apologizes as he continued to run. He didn't care that he had stepped in bubble gum or that he looked like a fool as he ran. This was the moment of truth. He was going to find out if Lily still loved him.

Once he reached the ticket booth, he was pleased to see that there was no one in line. He slammed his hands down on the counter and startled the small, petite woman behind the glass.

"I need to get on the soonest train to Moscow," he stated, his heart still pounding.

"The next one doesn't leave for another week," she informed him.

"What?" he bellowed. Of course, he knew the truth. Lily had told him this bit of information before she left, but he was still mad. He needed to get to Moscow, he needed to see Lily.

The woman behind the counter looked frightened but said, "We can put you on the train to Paris and you can connect from there tomorrow afternoon."

"No, that's not good enough. I need to get there tonight, before it's too late," he exclaimed. He needed last night to stay fresh in Lily's mind. It was the only way he could win her, he was sure of it. If she could remember the passion between them, she couldn't say no, she just couldn't.

"I'm sorry, sir, that's the best I can do," the woman said, not even trying to conceal the fright in her voice.

He calmed himself down by taking several deep breaths. Okay, fine, he would wait one day. It wouldn't kill him to wait just one day, right? Lily would still remember last night and their passion. She wouldn't shove it away in the back of her mind like it was yesterday's news.

"Okay, fine, I'll take that," he said.

"Alright, I just need to see your passport."

"My what?" he asked.

"Your passport, so that you can leave the country," she stated.

"I, I don't have one," he replied. In reality, he didn't even know what one was. Muggles had such strange things and such odd names too.

"I'm sorry, but without a passport we can't let you board the train," she informed him.

"No, but you have to let me on that train," he pleaded. "I need to go see this girl and tell her that I love her."

"I'm sorry, you'll just have to apply for a passport and go then."

"How long does that take?"

"Two months," she answered.

"What?" he questioned, a look of shock across his face. Why were Muggles so slow? He might as well get a portkey from the Ministry of Magic, even those don't take that long to get a hold of, even during the tough security actions in place now.

"Two months," she repeated, the frightened tone back in her voice.

"Never mind," he muttered as he walked away. What was he going to do now? How was he going to get to Lily so quickly? He should have never let her get on that train in the first place. If only he had stopped her, then he wouldn't be in this mess now. He would know for sure if she loved him or not.

In a rather down mood, he wandered back to his apartment. He didn't greet his three best friends as he walked past them. Instead, he headed toward his bedroom with a depressed look on his face.

He knew it would take the Ministry weeks to approve his portkey application. Maybe, just maybe his father could pull a couple strings for him. Then he might be able to get to Lily by early next week.

No, that would be too long. He couldn't wait for it. He needed to see her right away. He needed to tell her that he loved her before he got scared and backed away from the plan.

Then he thought of it; broomstick. He would fly to Moscow. He knew it would take him a very long time to do so, but at least he wouldn't be sitting around waiting. Yes, it was decided, broomstick was the best method of travel right now. All he needed was to figure out which direction of Wizard Moscow. It shouldn't be too hard, right?

He ran to his broomstick and uncovered his state of the art broomstick, a Nimbus 100. He then sprang open his door and with a smile on his face walked into the hallway.

"Prongs, you okay?" Sirius asked.

Not wanting to waste any time, but knowing it was best to tell his fellow Marauders what he was up to, James stopped to see them all in the kitchen. "I'm fine," he brightly answered.

"Did you go with her to the train station?" Remus asked.

"Yeah."

"And are you okay?" Remus asked, repeating Sirius's question.

"I wasn't, but now I am," James answered.

"James, what happened?" Sirius asked.

"She left, I still love her, and I'm going to go find her," he replied.

"What?"

"You heard me," James said. "I let her go once, but I'm not going to make that mistake again. I'm going to Moscow and I'm going to find her and tell her I love her."

"And what if she doesn't love you back?" Peter questioned.

"Then at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering if she did," James replied. "Now, if you three don't mind, I've got to go find Lily."

"James, there are millions of people in Moscow, how're you going to find her?" Remus asked.

"I'll think of that when the time comes," James answered, slowly walking towards the door.

"Wait, Prongs," Sirius said and stood up. He reached into his front pocket and pulled out a silver key. He looked down at it for a moment before tossing it to James. "Take my bike, it'll get you there faster."

"But you love that bike," James stated, looking down at the key in a very confused manner.

"And you love her," he replied.

"Thanks," James said and grinned.

"Good luck," Sirius said, which was echoed my Remus and Peter.

James grinned at his friends and started to walk towards the door. This was really it. He was going to find Lily Evans and tell her he was in love with her. This was going to be the moment that could potentially change the rest of his life.

On his way out the door, he heard Sirius yell, "You break my bike and you buy me a new one."

James peeked his head back inside and replied, "Sirius, she says yes to me and I'll buy you ten new bikes."

James then went down to the parking garage and jammed the key into the ignition. He revved the engine, took up the stand, and tapped his wand to the handlebars. It was now or never.

Xxxx

**Author's Note 2: **I hope you all liked it! This was not how I was expecting it to come out at all, but I like it much better than my original plan, which was kind of sad and depressing and the reason why it took me so long to write this in the first place. Anyways, let me know what you thought of it, I hope it wasn't too rushed. And please REVIEW!


	12. A Second Chance?

**Author's Note: **Thanks to all who reviewed chapter eleven, it means to the world to me! You are all amazing! And I'm so sorry about posting this chapter and then deleting it and then reposting it with different (yet better) material. Hope you enjoy it! Now, on with the story!

xxxx

James flew high above the streets of London. Looking down he saw what looked like millions of lights illuminated beneath him. Although it was a view that he had seen hundreds of times before, it looked very different coming from Sirius's motor bike than his broom. The bike was much faster than his broom would ever be, and the lights didn't seem as standstill on the bike.

Of course, the greatest difference for James was his ability to fly it. On his broom, he was a remarkable flyer. He was certain that if he had actually pursued his childhood dream of becoming a professional Quidditch player, he would have easily made the team. However, on Sirius's motor bike, James was certain that he looked like a moron.

Sirius could pull off the flying motor bike; he had a cool guy, bad boy feel and look to him. Sirius looked like a natural on the bike. James, however, knew that he was the preppy jock of the four Marauders and looked like a complete idiot flying this huge hunk of metal through the sky.

However, James was proud of the fact that it only took him a couple tries to get the bike started in the first place and that he only let it fall to the ground once. Of course, technically he knew how to fly the bike; Sirius talked about it enough that anyone listening to him should be able to work it. And James only stalled it while in the air once, but it was nothing a little magic couldn't fix.

Now though, as he rode through the night's sky, the wind whipping through his messy hair, James knew that he had other problems to deal with. For starters, how in Merlin's name was he going to find his way to Moscow. He knew the general direction was northeast, but to pinpoint it exactly was madness.

He did know of one spell that he and Sirius had invented one summer at his house that gave the general direction of a certain place, but for that to work, James would need to know the name of the location. Simply saying "Lily Evans's house" wasn't going to cut it for the spell to work. That would be too much of a personal privacy issue. However, if he could only remember the office that Lily worked at, then the spell just might work. Or, at the very least, if he could manage to recall the name of Moscow's version of Diagon Alley.

As he rode the bike in what he assumed was the basic direction of the city, James raked his brain for the information he needed. He knew that Lily had told him once before, but what could it be? He also knew that the name of her office was in English, not Russian. He also knew that the majority of he Wizard world in Moscow spoke English, which they had learned while at school, which would certainly come in handy. Now, if he could only recall the name of it.

Somewhere along the way, a couple hours into the journey, it popped into James's mind. "Vorkink's Productions" was the name of Lily's office. Yes, that had to be in. He was sure of it.

Grinning from ear to ear, James took his wand out of his pocket, tapped it to the handlebars, muttered the spell, and said the location. The tip of his wand began to glow and the bike began to move in a direction completely uncontrolled by James. As long as he kept his wand on the motor bike's handlebars, the spell would guide him to Moscow.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the bike began to lower itself. At first, James was alarmed. What if a Muggle saw him? Or better yet, what was wrong with the bike? But relief overcame him once the bike landed perfectly on a dirt road. Directly in front of where James stood, he saw an old building, the sign in front read "Vorkink's Productions."

Now that he was here though, what was he supposed to do? Wait here all night until Lily showed up? That would take hours, how many James was not sure though. He didn't know how long he had been on the bike nor did he know exactly how many hours Moscow was ahead of London.

Deciding that it was worth a shot, James went up to the door and lightly knocked on it. There was no response. Not giving up hope quite yet, James knocked again, this time much louder.

He saw the lights go on at once and heard shuffling inside. Finally, he heard the bolt on the door unlock and the door creaked slightly open. "We're closed, come back in the morning," a male voice hissed. It sounded as if James had just woken up this man.

"I'm not here about business," James said, his heart was racing.

"Come back in the morning," the man from behind the door said again.

"Wait, please, just answer this: does Lily Evans work here?" James needed to know the answer. He only prayed that this was indeed the right spot.

"Yes," the man growled. "If you've got a complaint or question or whatever, she'll be in once the place opens in the morning."

"No, wait," James said, almost shouting.

He heard the man sigh before opening the door even wider. James now saw that the man was roughly the same age as him. He was rather scrawny though, with dark brown hair and eyes. It wasn't that he was bad looking guy, there was just nothing exciting about him.

"Fine, come in," he said.

"Thank you," James replied.

Once inside, the man turned toward James and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "My name's Ian, what can I help you with that is so urgent it can't wait until the morning."

"Well, I need to see Lily Evans… now. Can you tell me where she lives?" James asked.

James could see the doubt in Ian's eyes, as if he were trying to figure out who James was and what was wrong with him for being here to early in the morning. "No, I'm not telling you," he finally barked.

"Please, it's urgent that I speak with her," James pleaded.

"I'm sorry, but I don't just give out my friend's personal information," Ian stated, still giving James a quizzical look.

"But I'm here friend too," he replied. "I'm James Potter and I need to speak with her now, please. I just flew all the way from London."

"Wait a second, did you say James Potter?" Ian questioned.

"Yeah."

"I've heard a lot about you," Ian informed him.

"Er, is that a good thing?"

Ian cocked his head at James for a minute before answering, "Yeah, it's a good thing… She doesn't live far from here. Go out the door and take a right. Walk for about five minutes until you come to what looks like a rundown metal gate. L.E will be inscribed on the third bar handle from the right, put your wand to it and say Lemon Drops. That'll open the gate. Once your inside, her house is third on the left."

"That's an awful lot of security measures, isn't it?" James questioned, but made a mental note of the directions.

"Don't think that you British Wizards are the only ones with problems with the Dark Arts," Ian swiftly answered.

"Right," James dumbly stated. Both men stood for a second in an awkward silence before James finally said, "Thanks, you know, for everything."

"Not a problem," Ian replied. "I just hope that whatever you came to tell her works out okay."

James smiled and nodded at Ian before heading out the door. He put the key in Sirius's bike and went off down the road. He didn't travel very fast nor did he fly; he didn't want to miss the rundown metal gate.

After a couple minutes, which felt like an eternity to James, he finally saw it. Or at least he hoped that he saw it. There was a rundown metal gate, but it certainly didn't look like any houses were behind it. All he could see were trees.

Hoping that Ian gave him the right information, James said "Lumos" to light his wand and ran it up and down the third bar from the left, looking for L.E inscribed into the metal. It took a careful search, but James eventually found it. He lowered his wand onto the inscription and said "Lemon Drops." All of a sudden the gate swung open and James was surprised at what he saw behind it. The trees that were seen from the other side of the gate had vanished and in their place were tons of small homes. It gave a whole new meaning to 'gated communities.'

Once James was inside, he heard the gate creak tightly shut behind him. Following Ian's instructions, he began to slowly ride the bike down the street until he came to the third house on the left. It was difficult to see it due to the immense darkness outside, but James could tell that it was very tiny and probably had no more than one bedroom.

He parked the bike out front and began to walk up the stone pathway towards the front door. His heart was pounding now. This was it. He was about to tell Lily Evans that he had never stopped loving her. He was about to confess everything to her. He was about to find out if she returned his feelings.

He paused for a moment as he looked at the dark house. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. After all, what if she didn't love him? What if she turned him away after his long journey? What if she wanted what happened in London to stay in London?

Yes, he decided, this was definitely a very bad idea. He should have never came here in the first place. It was a mistake, Lily didn't love him. Who was he trying to kid? How could she possibly love him?

Then again, did he actually love her? Or was this just him overreacting to losing his job and girlfriend and wanting something in his life to work out okay? Or maybe it was just an incredible shag and he wanted more and disguised this desire as love. No, he didn't love Lily Evans, not after four years. It was absurd that he even thought that could possibly be the truth.

James waked back toward the bike and sat on it. Then again, if he didn't love her, why was he here? No one would travel that long on a flying motor bike to find a girl who he didn't love. He knew he loved her, he had never stopped loving her.

The only reason he even dreamed of not loving her was because he was afraid. He was afraid that Lily Evans was going to reject him. Why he was afraid of this, he didn't know. Back at school she had rejected him all the time and sure, it bothered him, but never quite like the image of it did now. The only reason for this had to be because he truly was in love with her. Back at school he had liked her, but hadn't loved her until they actually started dating. Now though, he knew that deep in his heart, this was full blown love.

James sighed and hopped off the bike one more time. He stood in front of the house one more time, took a deep breath in and out, and ran his fingers nervously through his messier than usual hair. This was it. There was no backing down now. He was going to do this. It didn't matter that the thought of being rejected scared the living daylights out of him, it was something that he had to do.

He took a couple of steps forward before stopping again. Did he really have to do it? He contemplated it over and over again in his mind. The thought of rejection was too much, it would be too painful.

Then again, what if she actually said that she loved him too? Everything that he had lost during this past week wouldn't matter to him if only she said that she loved him. Everything going on in the entire world would disappear if she only said that she loved him. Wasn't that worth it all? Wasn't the possible chance of happiness for the rest of his life worth the chance that she might turn him down?

James took a few minutes to question both arguments before deciding that nothing outweighed the chance of Lily saying she loved him. He would walk over a hot bed of nails just to hear those words from her. And he could certainly take a few more steps and knock on her door for the slightest chance that she might love him.

With his heart racing and butterflies in his stomach, James walked the remaining distance toward the front door. Gathering all of his courage, he knocked on the door. When he didn't hear anything inside, he knocked a little louder.

"I'm coming already," James heard Lily yell from inside the house. Just like Ian, it sounded as if James had just woken her up.

He could feel sweat forming in the palms of his hands. There was no way out of this now. He was going to do it. She was coming over to him at that very moment.

Suddenly, a light came on over the entrance and she slowly opened the door, peaking an eye out of the small crack. Once she saw that it was James standing there, she flew the door open and stared at him, a bewildered look across her face.

"James, what are doing here?" she asked.

"Something I should have done four years ago," he answered before pulling her into a deep kiss. One of his hands was draped across her back and the other cradled her head. Her lips were touching his and despite the fact that she had just woken up, he could still taste the faintest amount of mint.

He was relieved to feel one of her hands sneak onto his chest, and not a single amount of force pushing him away. Instead, she returned his kiss. Her soft lips were against his and he could feel her hot breath mix with his.

All too soon, James pulled away from her and dropped his hands. Lily stood there and stared at him. Her emerald eyes were dancing and a light shade of pink came across her cheeks. Her hair was pulled into a loose ponytail and she stood in front of him, clutching her bathrobe to her chest.

"James," she softly said, a look of curiosity still present in her expression.

"I let you get away once, I'd be a fool to let it happen again," he said.

Her face twisted for a moment, as if she were debating whether to smile or to cry. The tears won and James saw that her eyes began to glisten, making the emerald color even more beautiful than before.

"I love you, Lily," he softly told her, rubbing away a stray tear.

"James…"

James blinked his eyes tightly before reopening them. "Lily, on my way over here, I thought about what I was going to say over and over again. I thought it was going to be the most difficult thing I would ever have to say in my life, you know, just the right words to make you see how much I care about you."

"James, don't," she begged.

He ignored her request and continued, "Before today, the stupidest thing I had ever done in my life was watching and doing nothing as you got on that train four years ago. But letting you go again was the dumbest thing I could ever do. Call me crazy, but most people don't get second chances, but we did. And I almost ruined it again, by letting you get away…. But as I stand here, with you, and I look at you, I can't think of why I almost risked losing you again. You're the only woman I've ever loved, the only woman I want to love."

"James," she whispered. Tears were flowing from her eyes now and she was biting her lips to try and stop them.

"Four years ago, trying to move on after you was the most difficult thing that I've ever had to do. In all honesty, I never did move on. I've been in love with you since seventh year… Nothing makes me happier than you, and if you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way… Lily, I love you," James honestly said, taking one of Lily's soft hands into his own.

"I, I don't know… I can't," she whispered as she blinked her eyes in an effort to conceal her tears.

"Do you love me?" he asked, his hazel eyes staring straight into her emerald ones.

"I, I," she began, darting her eyes away from his. She looked down at the ground and when James put his hand to her cheek, she pushed it away.

"Lily," he softly whispered.

She finally lifted her head, and stared directly into his eyes. It was a moment before she spoke, but when she did, her words were concise. "No."

"No?"

"I don't love you."

"What do you mean?" he asked. His heart and head were both racing. Despite everything that had raced through his head as he worked up the nerve to knock on Lily's door, he hadn't actually expected her to say this. How could she not love him? He just flew hundreds of miles to see her and she said no to him.

"I'm sorry, James, I really am," she replied.

"Sorry?" he asked. He looked a her as if she had just grown another head. She had just ripped open his chest, took out his heart, and stomped on it with one of her stiletto heels and she was _sorry. _

"Yes, I am," she replied. "You are an amazing guy, but well, like I said at King's Cross, if it was another time or another place then maybe."

"No, that's not how this works," he snapped. "I don't just spill my heart out to you for you to say sorry to me. You either love me or you don't, there's nothing in between. And you can't be sorry for not loving me otherwise you'd actually have care." He was yelling at her now, which he knew he would regret later, but couldn't help it now. How could she do this to him?

"Of course I care about you," she said, her voice rising with every word spoken.

"Then why don't you love me?" he asked, not able to see the difference between the two.

"James, stop it," she demanded. "I will always care about you, but only as a friend… I'm not going to lie to you, if this had been four years ago and you had said all of that, nothing could have kept me here. But things change, people change, James."

He felt his heart sink. He didn't want to believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. He wanted this to be over, like a bad dream. He didn't want things between them to change. He wanted it to be exactly like it was four years ago. He wanted Lily to love him just as much as he loved her.

"What about last night though?" he suddenly asked. "You can't tell me that meant nothing to you."

Her cheeks slightly reddened, but despite her embarrassment, she said, "It was just sex. If I had known that you, well, that you still had feelings for me, I wouldn't have done it all… I never meant to hurt you."

Could these words really be coming from Lily's lips? How could she say that last night was just sex? He was there, he knew the passion. No one could kiss like that and not mean it. No one could say the things she said without meaning them. No one could act like she was so in love with him and not mean it at all.

"You never meant to hurt me?" he shouted.

"James, please, you're going to wake up my neighbors."

"No, I won't," he snapped. "You let me go on and on about how much I… how much I cared about you just to make me look like a bloody fool."

"No I didn't," she protested.

"Yes you did," he yelled. "And I don't believe you, I know you love me. No one can kiss like that without meaning it. You're just too bloody scared to admit it. Merlin, you make me come hundreds of miles on Sirius's motor bike and you're not even brave enough to admit you still love me."

"I'm not scared," she snapped. "For your information, James Potter, I did not ask you to come here tonight. I don't know how in Merlin's name you found me here, but I certainly did not leave out a welcome mat… And secondly, in case you've forgotten four years ago we both left each other and guess what, it wasn't a bloody picnic in the bloody park for me either. Getting over you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I did. I got over you. I don't love you anymore. And if you think that I owe you this, well, you're a bloody fool."

Once she stopped her screaming rant at him, she put one of her hands against the shut door and looked down at the ground. She was breathing heavily and it looked as if it took every ounce of her petite body to say that.

"You can't get over someone that you loved that much," he countered, not caring that she had just turned her back on him.

"Well I did," she said, still not moving from her position.

"Look at me," he demanded. When she didn't make an effort to turn around, he grabbed her arm and spun her around, more forcefully than he knew he should have.

"Get away from me," she snapped as she took her arm back and rubbed it with her opposite hand.

"Listen to me," he ordered. "You fucked me over, do you understand? I had a good life until you showed up. Thanks to you I lost my job and my girlfriend and I'm lucky my best friends are even still talking to me."

"How is that my fault?" she demanded.

"You fucked me up."

"Am I the one that skipped out on work? Am I the one that was an ass to Erica? Am I the one that forgot about the bloody full moon? No, no, and no," she snapped. "Don't blame your troubles on me, James Potter."

"Why did you have to show up at my apartment building?"

"You think I wanted to run into you? God James, I made it a special point of interest not to go to Diagon Alley just in case I saw you," she shouted.

"Then why did you keep coming around?"

"Because," she yelled. She then took a deep breath in and out and in a much calmer tone said, "Because after our first encounter, I thought that we could just be friends."

"We kissed," he said, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"We were both drunk," she stated. "How was I supposed to know you still, you know?"

"How could you not?" he demanded, his eyes were now pleading with hers.

She didn't say anything nor did she even acknowledge the fact that he had spoken to her at all. She simply stared off into the darkness that surrounded them. Finally, she turned to face him and said, "I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry."

"You could tell me that I didn't fly all the way over here for nothing," James softly said, avoiding her eyes as he spoke.

"I won't lie to you," she said, just as softly.

"Please, Lily, just give me one more chance," he said. "Come to London with me and give me another chance… These things just don't happen."

"No," she answered. "I have a life here, in Moscow. This is my home now. And I'm sorry, but we had our chance and it didn't work out."

"Only because you moved," he countered.

"We didn't love each other enough to make it work," she said, annoyance present in her voice.

"But I love you now, I'll make it work," he pleaded.

She put her hands on her hips, stared at him and said, "You'll move to Moscow to be with me and try to get things started." Her tone wasn't pleading nor hopeful. Instead, it was very matter-of-factly.

"Well, you would come to London," he reasoned.

"Why?" she asked. "Why do I have to be the one that gives up my entire life just to be with you? I knew this would happen too, James. You're all talk but no action. You expect me to give up everything I've worked my ass off for in this past four years and you won't give up one damn thing."

"I flew all the way here," he shouted in defense.

"Oh big deal," she snapped. "So you rode a bloody motor bike through the air. That took you what, a couple of hours? You give up a couple hours to be with me and expect me to give up the rest of my life for you. No, that's not the way this works."

"You want me to move here?" he demanded.

"No I don't," she yelled. "Because I don't love you and I don't want to be your bloody girlfriend. All I'm saying that its always take, take, take with you. You never gave up a single thing for me."

"That's not true," he countered.

"Yes it is, and you know it. So don't lecture me on and on about how I can't possibly be sorry when you've probably never been sorry in your whole bloody life," Lily shouted.

"You know what Lily, I am sorry. I'm sorry I thought that I could actually still love you," he yelled back.

"Get out," she snapped.

"With pleasure," he said. He stormed down the stone path until he reached the motor bike. He heard Lily slam the door with such a force that he was afraid the entire house would come crumbling down. Not that he would care though. How could he possibly think that he still loved her? How could he think that he even liked her? She was such an infuriating little bitch. Yes, he had said it. Lily Evans was a bitch.

Still fuming, James got on the bike, forcefully slammed the key into the ignition and took off. All he wanted was to go home. He didn't care that he hadn't slept in many, many hours and was probably not fit to ride the flying motor bike right now. All that mattered was getting as far away from Lily Evans as possible.

He never wanted to see those emerald eyes staring up at him again. He never wanted to touch her red hair, never wanted to smell its unique floral scent. He never wanted to here her softly whisper "I love you" into his ear before he fell asleep. And he certainly never wanted to kiss her beautiful lips again. No, he didn't want to see Lily Evans ever again… Okay, that was a lie.

Xxxx

**Author's Note 2: **Okay all, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I promise, it's not quite over yet. I want to profusely apologize to everyone who was confused by me adding the original chapter 12 and then deleting it and posting this one several hours later. I apologize times a million, but I think (and hope) that anyone who read the original would agree that this version of chapter 12 is ten times better. Anyways, please review and tell me what you think!


	13. An Unexpected Surprise

**Author's Note: **Hi everyone! Sorry this took longer than usual to post, but I hope you'll find that it was worth the wait. Thanks so everyone who reviewed chapter 12 and any other chapter, I really appreciate you taking the time and effort to do so. Anyways, on with the story, I hope you all like it!

Xxxx

As James flew on Sirius's motor bike back to London, his conversation with Lily was fresh in his mind. He tried to decide where it went wrong, but couldn't exactly pinpoint it. He had made too many mistakes. He had yelled at her, been selfish, and quite blatantly acted like a five year old.

Why did he have to be so incredibly thick sometimes? If he had just said his peace and not yelled at her, he and Lily might still be on good terms. Okay, not good terms, but speaking terms. But no, he had to mess everything up. He had to yell at her. And to top it all off, he accused her of being scared of her own feelings for him. Why was he so dumb? He couldn't just tell her how she was supposed to feel about him and expect her to comply.

He continued ride back to London and didn't even notice the sun come up. All his mind could focus on was Lily and the situation that had just occurred. He kept running through every word spoken in his mind, but it was no use. There was no way things could ever work out between him and Lily. Merlin, if he were Lily he wouldn't want to date himself either, especially after how he reacted last night.

It just wasn't how things were supposed to happen. In his mind's eye, he was supposed to gallantly walk up to Lily's house, knock on the door, and sweep her off her feet. She was supposed to instantly fall back in love with him and want to come back to London and live happily ever after with him. That was the way things were supposed to happen.

James sighed, knowing that it would never happen. Lily Evans would never love him, she had made that quite clear. Sure, she claimed to care about him and had said that if they lived in another time or another place, but those were just words. She hadn't meant them, James was sure of it.

Soon enough, James found himself back in the heart of London. Being careful not to be seen by Muggles, James landed the motor bike in an old alley, turned off the invisibility shield and drove it back to the apartment building. He then wandered up the stairs, not wanting to go too fast. He didn't know if he could face his friends right now. He had been so confident the day before, claiming that it didn't matter if she said no to him, all that mattered was that she knew the truth. But here he was now with a broken heart and not any more satisfied than he was before.

To his relief though, once he opened the door to his apartment, he didn't see anyone at all. Not even Sirius was home. James glanced at the clock, noted the time and decided that his friends must be at work. Work; it only put him in an even more sour mood. He didn't have his job anymore. He didn't even have annoying paperwork to keep his mind off of Lily. All he had was himself, alone in the apartment.

James grumbled as he walked over to his bedroom, slammed the door behind him and simply plopped down on his bed. He didn't bother to remove his glasses or his shoes. He didn't even get beneath the blankets. Instead, he stared up at the ceiling and sighed.

Several hours later, or at least what James had assumed was several hours later, he heard a knock on his bedroom door. It snapped him back into reality and away from his mindless staring at the white ceiling.

"James, are you in there?" Remus called as he gently knocked on the door.

James didn't say anything. He heard voices outside; he was sure that they belonged to Sirius and Peter along with Remus. He couldn't make out what they were saying, but he didn't really care either.

"Prongs, we know you're in there," Sirius said. "And if you don't open the door now, I'll blast it down."

"It's open," James managed to say, his voice sounded very dull.

As the door handle turned he heard Remus mutter, "You didn't check to see if it was unlocked, you idiot." Followed by Sirius saying, "I thought he would have locked it."

Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius and turned his attention to James. "You want to talk about it?"

"No."

"You want a firewhiskey?" Sirius asked.

"No."

"Food?" Peter asked.

"No."

"Anything at all?" Sirius tried.

"No."

"Prongs, you really should…" Remus started, but wasn't able to finish his sentence because James had cut him off.

"What do you want me to say?" he snapped. "You were right, I was wrong. Happy? You told me to stay away from her, but I didn't and I got fucked in the end. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"James, stop," Remus kindly said. "You know that's not true."

"Yes it is," James replied. "She fucked me over, just like you all said she would."

"If it's any consolation, we were all hoping it'd work out for you," Sirius said and gave his best friend a very weak smile.

"I know," James muttered. "I just… I just wish she saw it that way."

"I know," Sirius replied. Grabbing his wand from his robes, he conjured up a bottle of firewhiskey and some glasses. He magically poured each of the Marauders a drink, which despite James's initial response to a drink, he was quite relieved to have.

With a little help from the drink, he ended up telling his friends the entire story, well almost the entire story. He didn't mention in quite the same detail about how he poured his heart to her, but his friends all guessed the magnitude of his words anyway.

In the end, he did feel much better, at least for a little while. It felt good to have a couple of laughs with his friends, and Sirius's remarks about how James was too good for Lily anyway did cheer him up.

Still though, once they left, the scene reemerged into James's mind. All he could envision was her saying that she didn't love him. It echoed throughout his brain like words in a cave. But there was nothing he could do to stop it. He tried to think about Quidditch, but he only thought back to his days at Hogwarts, with Lily. Then he tried to think about an interesting Muggle television show, but was reminded that Lily grew up with Muggles. He even tried to think about Erica, but once again, his mind drifted to Lily.

He thought that once he talked to her about his feelings, these thoughts would die out, but they only increased. She was having the same effect on him now that she did when she first showed up in town.

James couldn't sleep because of it, his mind kept on drifting back to Lily. The more he tried not to think about her, the harder it was to forget about her. And the more he thought about her, the sadder he became, knowing that he could never have her.

Xxxx

As the days passed on, with the help from his friends, James managed to slowly repress everything about Lily Evans. He was able to sleep soundly at night, despite the fact that he dreamed about her every night. It was always the same dream too; she was always rejecting him on the doorstep of her house in Moscow. However, before when he had the dream, he would wake up in the middle of the night or be in a gloomy mood the next morning. Now though, after the dream, he woke up like it was any other morning and went about his daily routine.

He even managed to find a new job a mere week after the incident. The shop that Peter worked at in Diagon Alley was hiring and after persuasion to his boss, Peter convinced him to hire James. It wasn't anything special, James worked at a Quidditch store, but it was entertaining and he was able to work alongside one of his best friends. His new boss seemed to be quite taken with him and this job was certainly not nearly as stressful as his previous job was.

All in all, James was doing quite well. Other than his dreams at night, he hardly ever even thought about Lily anymore. He was concentrating on other important aspects of his life; his friends, job and family. James was back on his feet and doing perfectly well.

One day, about a month after the "incident" as James liked to call it, he turned his key into the lock as usual, only to find that the door was already open. It was quite curious because it was the first Sunday of the month and Sirius always visited his favorite uncle, the only member of the Black family that he still spoke with, on the first Sunday of every month.

Assuming that Sirius must have simply forgotten, James opened the door to find Sirius sitting at the kitchen table with another man. James didn't recognize the other man at all, only noting that he had very dark brown hair and looked much smaller than Sirius.

As James walked into the kitchen, the man turned around and James gave him a quizzical look. Where had he seen him before? There was something oddly familiar about him, but he couldn't quite place it.

"James Potter," the man said. Suddenly James knew. It was Ian, from Moscow. It was the man that gave him directions to Lily's house. But why was he here? Why was he in London?

"Ian?"

"You remember," Ian exclaimed in his thick Russian accent.

James nodded slightly at him and then sat down in between Sirius and Ian at the kitchen table.

"Not to be rude, but what are you doing here?" James cautiously questioned.

Ian's smile dropped and he stared at James, locking his eyes on him. "It's about Lily…"

"Is she okay?" he blurted out, his heart was racing.

"Physically? Yes," Ian replied. He paused for a moment before continuing, "Before Lily came to London, she was confident, cool, smart, she was everything. Then she comes to London, you come out and talk with her for one night and she's the complete opposite. It's been a month and she's still a mess… I'm her best friend and in the three years that we've known each other, I have never seen her cry, until you showed up. And I'm worried about her, she won't tell me anything."

"Why are you telling me this?" James asked.

"She won't tell me anything but I'm not entirely stupid either," Ian stated. "You broke her heart."

James shook his head in disagreement.

"I don't want to know what happened between you two or what you said to her that night, I just want my best friend to be happy again. And from the letters she wrote while she was visiting London, she seemed happy. Now though, well, like I said, I never saw her cry until about a month ago," Ian said.

"I still don't understand why you're here," James stated.

"Here is a train ticket from King's Cross that leaves in fifteen minutes," Ian said as he laid out bundles of papers across the table. "Here is your fake Muggle passport and in case you need it, Muggle money. Take it and go to Moscow."

James looked down at the items in front of him. The passport contained a picture of him, which wasn't moving, and listed all of his information. The train ticket was nonstop to Moscow. His head was spinning, it was too much to process right now. In front of him was a free pass to Moscow to see Lily Evans, the girl who he was still in love with.

Just one month ago, it was what he desired more than anything in the entire world. Now though, James wasn't quite so sure. It had taken him such a long time to get to where he was now, did he really want to start all over again? And although Ian's story sounded interesting, it wasn't convincing. Lily had made it quite clear that she wasn't in love with him. Just because she was crying over it, it didn't change how she felt.

He looked down at the ticket and then back up at Ian. "I, I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?" Ian demanded.

"She doesn't love me and I can't go through that again," James honestly answered.

"You have to go," Ian stated. "She is in tears because of you. You are the reason why she is so upset."

"Did you ever consider me though? Did you ever consider how upset I'll be when I come back to London alone, again?" James shouted.

There was a long pause, neither James nor Ian knew what to say next. James was slightly embarrassed about what he had blurted out to a complete stranger, but wasn't going to pretend that he hadn't said it either.

Suddenly, Sirius looked up from the table and said, "I think you should go."

James looked at his best friend like he had three heads. Did he hear this correctly? Was Sirius actually urging James to go to Moscow and see Lily Evans? Did he completely lose his mind?

Lily had just left him with a broken heart and barely able to function. It had taken nearly a month to get his life back on track and he was still constantly dreaming about her. Sirius of all people knew what effect Lily had on him. And yet he was urging James to hop on a train and travel all the way across Europe just to see her and most likely get his heart broken one more time.

No, it was not worth the risk. He knew better this time. The old janitor from King's Cross was wrong. If he had never gone to Moscow the first time around and never knew that Lily didn't love him, he would have been much better off. Instead he spent weeks in heart wrenching agony because of Lily Evans.

"I think you should go," Sirius repeated.

"Are you out of your mind?" James barked.

"If you don't go, you'll spend the rest of your life wondering," Sirius replied.

"No," James said as he shook his head.

"Please, James, you only have five minutes left before the train leaves, please go," Ian begged. "She's my best friend and I would do anything to make her happy. And I know that you make her happy."

"I can't," James said, he didn't look at Ian though; his eyes were locked on Sirius.

"Go," Sirius said, nodding his head at his best friend.

"What if?" James began.

"Fuck what if," Sirius replied.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Does this mean you'll go?" Ian asked, shoving the papers closer to James.

"I'm going to Moscow," James answered. The thought was rushing through his head and he could feel his excitement rising. Despite his mind wanting to destroy these feelings of excitement, he couldn't conceal them. This could possibly be another chance for him. Maybe, just maybe things would work out differently this time around.

He grabbed the tickets and apparated over to King's Cross Station. He knew that he was short on time, less than five minutes to make the train. Unfortunately, he couldn't apparate right onto the train. He had to go to an abandoned alley. From there he ran towards the train station. There was no time to walk, he only had a few minutes left.

Adrenalin was pumping through his vein and his heart was racing like a racehorse. He could see the station with ease and was just seconds away from its doors. He pushed past the crowds of people, not caring that he had to squirm past people and even gently pushed someone out of his way.

James knew exactly where the gate was, it was too familiar of a gate. Unfortunately, it was at the very end of the station. He glanced up at a clock; he had one minute to get to the gate. In one minute the train would pull away. All he could do was run.

With every step that he took, his hear of missing the train grew larger. He knew there were other ways to get to Moscow, but making this train was the best way. Making this train would mean that he would see Lily Evans in a few hours. It was faster than Sirius's motorbike, and right now, time was everything.

He could feel sweat forming all over his body, but he didn't care. All that mattered was that he make the train. He was so close, just a couple gate away. He didn't bother to look up at a clock, there wasn't time to look.

Once he arrived at the gate, he came to an abrupt stop. Something wasn't right. The train wasn't there, nor were there any traces of a train. James looked up at the clock, he was two minutes late. He wouldn't have made the train, but he still would have seen the smoke. There should still be people at the gate, everyone that had to say goodbye to loved ones. Instead, James was alone at the gate.

Confused and out of breath, James found his way to a nearby bench. He placed his hands on his knees and took several deep breaths. All the while, his eyes were darting around the station. Something was definitely wrong; very, very wrong.

He grabbed the ticket from his pocket and scanned every word. He was at the right gate, in the right train station, and at the right time. He couldn't understand what was going on. Suddenly though, before his eyes, he saw the time change on his ticket. The departure time of the train was pushed back another fifteen minutes.

What was going on here?

"James," a soft voice from behind him said.

He recognized it at once. He would always recognize that voice. Taking one more deep breath, he turned his head to see her. She was holding both hands in front of her, like a nervous school girl. Her smile was weak, but looked as if it was slowly gaining strength. Her red hair was loose around her shoulders and her emerald eyes were shining.

"Lily," he said.

"You came."

He nodded.

She walked closer to him and sat next to him on the bench. She looked as if she was trying to find the right words to say, but couldn't find them. After a moment of saying nothing, she shifted her weight and faced him.

Suddenly, her lips were on his. They felt warm against his skin and tasted just like Lily always did. He felt everything in his life melt with that kiss; it was his remedy. Just one gentle, sweet kiss from Lily Evans calmed his body down. He no longer felt tense or anxious, instead he relaxed into her lips.

She pulled away though and James slowly opened his eyes to meet hers. "What are you doing?" he cautiously asked.

"Something I should have done one month ago," she answered. She gave him a soft, sweet smile and her eyes were shining with droplets of tears.

Her words were bliss to his ears. Her touch was heavenly to his skin. Everything about her made him feel warm inside.

"James, I'm sorry," she went on, her eyes welling up even more.

"It's okay," he softly said as he reached out to hold her hand.

"No it's not," she said as she wiped her eyes dry with her free hand. "You said that you believe in second chances, but do you believe third chances too?"

"What about your job and your life in Moscow?" he asked, curiously looking at her.

"There are other jobs," she answered. "And I had a life here too… I, I have a life here too."

"Do you mean it?"

She nodded and said, "James, in all of my life I have never met anyone like you. You make me smile, you make me laugh, you make me a better person and I've never felt more like myself than when I'm with you. You're the only person that I've ever completely trusted and the only person that can make me feel like I'm all that matters to you even when I feel and look awful. I was a fool to think that I didn't love you, because if everything I just described isn't love, then I don't know what is. And I was lucky enough to find you seventh year and I'd be a fool not to be with you now." She choked back tears as she said, "James, I love you."

"I love you too," he replied.

Lily smiled at him before leaning in for another kiss. James could taste her salty tears and wanted nothing more than to make them disappear. His heart was bursting with excitement. This was the moment that he had waited four years for. This was the moment that he and Lily Evans were finally together again.

He thought back to the ring he had bought four years ago, the diamond ring with small ruby stones surrounding it. It had always been his intention to throw it away, but he never did. It was still in his bedroom, tucked away for her. James knew that someday Lily would wear it; maybe not today or tomorrow, or even a year from now. But someday she would become Mrs. James Potter.

Until then though, she was Lily Evans, the one that almost got away.

_The End_

Xxxxx

**Author's Note 2: **Okay, so that's the final chapter of this story! I really hope that you all liked it, please let me know! And thanks again to everyone who has ever reviewed this story, you have no idea how much I appreciate it!


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